THE CASE OF THE GREATER GATSBY EPISODE 23 - CRIMINAL TRANSCRIPT

[The Case of the Greater Gatsby opening credits music plays]

Announcer: Now presenting Fig and Ford in The Case of the Greater Gatsby. Episode 23: Criminal. Written and created by Sean Persaud and Sinéad Persaud.

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): Fig and I met Claudette at the station soon after she'd arrested Sheilah. She'd been put in an interrogation room and Claudette was waiting for us to start the questioning. I could see the end in sight. Felt like we've been working this web of cases centered on F. Scott Fitzgerald forever, and I was getting tired. It reminded me of that age-old saying: "Just give me room to lay the law and let me go." With any luck, this case would be over by suppertime.

Claudette Knickerbocker: Hey Ford, I did a voice over just now.

Fig Wineshine: No way! Was it everything you'd ever dreamed of?

Claudette Knickerbocker: Like flying. While drinking wine. During a deep tissue massage!

Fig Wineshine: Well good to have you in the airwaves. Sheilah ready for us?

Claudette Knickerbocker: She's pouting and nervous, but I think she'll talk. Come on in.

[SFX: DOOR OPENS.]

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): We followed Claudette into the stuffy room where Sheilah sat looking miserable and even smaller than usual.

[Claudette, Fig, and Ford enter. Claudette pulls out a metal chair and sits.]

Fig Wineshine: Sheilah Graham. And to think I was almost sorry I clogged your toilet with a sleeve of cookies.

Sheilah Graham: So you knew I had bugged your office? And you used it against me?

Fig Wineshine: Roger that, you villainous tea-totaler. That's tea, spelled T-E-A, thank you very much. Once we figured it out, we realized why the details of our investigation had been leaking. Like the tie clip Ford and Claudette found at your house?

Sheilah Graham: That's diabolical. I'm impressed. I didn't think you two had it in you.

Ford Phillips: And we didn't think you had it in you to murder your own... boy-boyfriend? Is that what you called him? That sounds weird, we're all adults.

Fig Wineshine: Partner?

Claudette Knickerbocker: Too boring. I think of Cliff Calloway as my "Husband-to-be."

Fig Wineshine: Too long. What about "Better-half"?

Ford Phillips: More like 'Worse Half'. Fig Wineshine: Nice! Sheilah Graham: F. Scott Fitzgerald was my lover.

Fig Wineshine: Hard pass.

Ford Phillips: So gross.

Claudette Knickerbocker: That's the worst one.

Sheilah Graham: I'd never murder him, no matter what we were going through. No matter how bad his drinking got, no matter how unhappy he made me, no matter how close misery followed me every step of our loveless journey.

Ford Phillips: Jeez, Sheilah, tell us how you really felt.

Sheilah Graham: How did you know I had the lassos?

Fig Wineshine: Penny Nickelpenny told us the last place she saw them was at Mel's house. And you were playing with them.

Ford Phillips: Like you played us. For fools.

Claudette Knickerbocker: Ooh, nice.

Fig Wineshine: And since you're the one who bugged our office, we figured you were the one with the most to lose and a real motivation for keeping tabs on our case. When we realized you'd been listening in on us, we used our neighbor Danny Saxman's phone to call Claudette, set a little trap, and you fell into it, face first and red-handed.

Claudette Knickerbocker: Miss Graham, we're aware that you and Mel were having an illicit affair. Fitzgerald had his suspicions you were stepping out on him, and the night of his murder, he found out. So you took a lasso back home and made sure he wouldn't write it into his script.

Sheilah Graham: No! No, that's not what happened at all!

Fig Wineshine: If that's not what happened, why did we catch you trying to get rid of the murder weapon?

Sheilah Graham: It's just... Oh what a perfect mess this is. (sighs) Yes, you're right. Mel and I have been seeing each other. Scotty and I haven't been right for some time. And seeing Zelda's paintings everywhere... It was a constant reminder I'd never have him all to myself. So yes, I did what he would do, and I took my happiness into my own hands. I've never met anyone like Mel. I love her. But I didn't kill Scotty.

Ford Phillips: Then who did?

Sheilah Graham: Well, I don't quite know exactly!

Fig Wineshine: Lady, you know everyone's business in this town better than they do. If you didn't have some kind of hunch, then why were you sitting on those lassos?

Sheilah Graham: I was just trying to...

Ford Phillips: To what?

[Sheilah sniffles.]

Sheilah Graham: To protect her.

Ford Phillips: Mel?

Claudette Knickerbocker: Are you saying that Mel Hammermeister killed F. Scott Fitzgerald?

Sheilah Graham: No! No, that's not what I'm saying. I just... I don't know! She was so angry that night. I heard her on the phone, telling someone "I'm gonna strangle that guy!" But I was with her all night, I swear! I don't know when she would have had the chance. But in the morning, I saw those lassos there, and then I went home and found Scotty's body, and I just put two and two together...

Fig Wineshine: And so you went back to collect the evidence just in case your girlfriend– Sheilah Graham: Lover. Fig Wineshine: No thanks, just in case your girlfriend had actually used them to murder your boyfriend?

Sheilah Graham: I suppose, just in case, that hiding the murder weapon might help muddle things up. Or -

[SFX: A KNOCK at the door. The DOOR OPENS.]

Mo Beats: Well hey there, Claudette. Didn't think to invite me to the party?

Claudette Knickerbocker: Mo Beats. Don't you have a nightclub to go run?

Mo Beats: Sure, but I just can't quite shake off my first love: running interference on your boneheaded investigations.

Ford Phillips: You sure are good at interfering in real police work, aren't you, Maurice?

Mo Beats: If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. Just got a call from Mel Hammermeister. Miss Graham here is free to go, or else she's sending over a car full of lawyers. Horace Beanslot called too, he's already talked to the chief. Hate to break up this little shindig, but hey, swing by Bixby's tonight. I'll give you guys a discount on well drinks.

[SFX: A CHAIR pushes back.]

Sheilah Graham: Thank you, Detective Beats.

[SFX: FOOTSTEPS out the door fade away as:]

Mo Beats: Oh yeah, did you hear? I made detective. Wow, "detective." I like the sound of that. Oh and Ford? Fig? Mel also let me know youse two are banned from the studio. Almost slipped my mind.

[SFX: Door CLOSES]

Claudette Knickerbocker: That snake!

Ford Phillips: We can't get distracted now. We're so close.

Fig Wineshine: You think Mel killed Fitzgerald?

Ford Phillips: Seems like a strong possibility, especially with what she just pulled getting Sheilah out of here.

Claudette Knickerbocker: But why would Mel kill him? Was she trying to get the script? Did she realize it was already gone?

Ford Phillips: And how do the letters fit into this?

Fig Wineshine: Right. If Fitz was the first target, then does anyone really need a motive other than hating movie adaptations?

Claudette Knickerbocker: Look at this picture again. Lasso number 7 isn't a match for either wound. It's way too thick. Plus, the number 7 is written on a tag tied to the lasso, it's not part of the lasso itself.

Fig Wineshine: And what's this other mark? It's as thin as a thread. Who would try strangling a man with a thread?

Ford Phillips: I could use a drink.

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): Fig, Claudette and I took a moment to gather our thoughts, and then trudged back into the station, feeling farther away from the end of this whole ordeal than ever. I felt more irritable than usual.

Fig Wineshine: Sometimes I wonder why we bother having a police department at all if justice can be sold to the highest bidder.

Ford Phillips: Oh, you finally feeling the ennui of the Los Angeles Private Investigator? Maybe it would have happened sooner if you hadn't been off gallivanting as a movie star.

Fig Wineshine: I'm trying to be optimistic but how are we supposed to solve this crime when powerful people keep covering things up?

Claudette Knickerbocker: You have to keep your head down and dodge the villains and vipers.

Vivian Nightingale: Vipers? You aren't talking about me, are you?

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): We turned to see Vivian and Barnaby sauntering into the station. The usually chipper Barnaby looked as if he hadn't slept in a bit, while Vivian seemed right at home.

Fig Wineshine: What are you two doing here? Come to tell some more lies? Make the situation stickier than a Mary Jane candy on an Arizona sidewalk?

Barnaby Nightingale: I've been asked to come and answer some questions regarding F. Scott Fitzgerald in an official capacity. Seems that tie clip with my initials is causing a bit of a stir in the case.

Officer: Barnaby Nightingale? Right this way.

Barnaby Nightingale: Wish me luck, you Flapjack Harrys.

[A door closes behind him.]

Fig Wineshine: Wow, his heart just isn't in the nickname game anymore.

Vivian Nightingale: I heard you two finally found the elusive script. And seems you also reunited the Punchwhistle triplets. You're solving all sorts of crimes. Except of course, the one I hired you to crack.

Ford Phillips: Your husband has been taken into questioning for the death of Fitzgerald. Looks like you're getting your wish.

Vivian Nightingale: I only wish for justice. See you soon, Ford Phillips.

[Vivian WALKS AWAY SLOWLY.]

Claudette Knickerbocker: Why didn't she say goodbye to us?

Fig Wineshine: I dunno, they have a whole thing going back and forth. It's pretty gross.

Claudette Knickerbocker: I personally hate it.

[MO BEATS WALKS BACK UP. Jesus, what does this guy want now?]

Mo Beats: Claudette! You been holding out on us?

Claudette Knickerbocker: What are you talking about?

Mo Beats: First the tie clip and now this?

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): With a wicked smile, Mo Beats pulled from his behind back F. Scott's tape reels.

Mo Beats: What are we gonna find on here?

Claudette Knickerbocker: How did you know about that?

Mo Beats: What's it matter?

Ford Phillips: Mo, where'd you get them?

Mo Beats: This is official police business, Phillips, let the grownups talk. Claudette, you wanna listen with me and the captain? Let's go.

[Mo Beats walks off, snickering.]

Claudette Knickerbocker: I have no idea how he knew. I've been so careful.

Ford Phillips: Sheilah's bug. He's probably been looking for a while. You go deal with that and we’re going to work on clearing Barnaby's name.

[Claudette runs off.]

Fig Wineshine: If we don't find the murder weapon today, I don't deserve to wear a hat this big.

Ford Phillips: What are you so sour about? All you do these days is tap dance and go to book club! You got it made in the shade. Meanwhile, I'm the one hiring Dash Gunfire to steal evidence. I'm the one conducting interviews alone and trying to piece this whole thing together.

Fig Wineshine: Calm down, I know things seem like they're falling apart, but that doesn't mean you get to! And I believe that attending that book club meeting is what solved the case of the missing script!

Ford Phillips: That was an accident! If you love Mel and Whitley and doing the jitterbug on a cold empty soundstage so much, why do you even wanna work with me?

Fig Wineshine: Are you jealous? Because I'm acting and you quit years ago? You think you're so high and mighty. That you're better than the people who make the pictures!

Ford Phillips: Maybe I do. Maybe I'm not vapid and narcissistic like you all.

Fig Wineshine: Well. If that's how you feel.

Ford Phillips: It is! You wanna skip out on being a detective, well that's fine. I don't need you, Fig Wineshine. I worked for years without you and I'll continue to do so!

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): I didn't even know what I was saying anymore. It poured out of me like molten lava. I ripped off the coworker bracelet Fig had gotten me and hurled it at her face. I missed and it caught on the buckle of her stupid hat.

Fig Wineshine: Oho buddy, no one throws things at my hat and lives to tell the tale!

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): Can you believe Ford threw something at me? This episode is action packed. I removed my hat to get the bracelet off the buckle but it wouldn't budge. I pulled and pulled but the bracelet string wouldn't come loose.

Ford Phillips: Jesus, here let me try.

[Ford struggles to pull the bracelet off Fig's hat.]

Ford Phillips: Wow, that is some sturdy material.

Fig Wineshine: FORD!

Ford Phillips: Oh my god. Willy's bracelets.

Fig Wineshine: Let's see those photos of the wound!

[FORD pulls out the pictures.]

Fig Wineshine: It's a match.

Ford Phillips: Someone used the coworker bracelet Willy made to strangle Fitzgerald.

Fig Wineshine: A bracelet is too small, isn't it?

Ford Phillips: We need to talk to Willy.

Fig Wineshine: But we're not allowed on the lot. Everyone knows us.

Ford Phillips: Exactly.

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): We rolled up to the security booth at Hammermeister Studios about 30 minutes later, hoping to spot our favorite overworked security guard. And thankfully, there she was, apparently moonlighting her other job as wardrobe head, putting the finishing touches on a couple of bunny costumes.

Penny Nickelpenny: Oh no, not you two. We been told to not let either of you on the lot.

Ford Phillips: Sure, I can see our pictures up there in the booth behind you. That's my old headshot. I was 10. How would anyone recognize me?

Penny Nickelpenny: Oh, don't worry, I recognize you. Dark circles under your bloodshot eyes. Skin somehow too oily and too dry at the same time. Why you always wearing that hat, you scared we'll see where your hairline ran off to?

Ford Phillips: Alllllright.

Fig Wineshine: Listen Penny, we need a big favor. You gotta let us in. We're so close to solving this mystery.

Penny Nickelpenny: What mystery?

Fig Wineshine: The mystery we've been trying to solve since... did I never talk to you about this?

Penny Nickelpenny: Beats me.

Fig Wineshine: Huh, I could have sworn I - ah well, doesn't matter. Penny, you remember F. Scott Fitzgerald, right?

Penny Nickelpenny: Sure do. Had a lot of troubles. Mel treated him like dog patties. Actually, so did everyone.

Fig Wineshine: But not you.

Penny Nickelpenny: Well he was always real nice to me.

Fig Wineshine: I know! Willy and Cliff told me in a flashback that you two-

Penny Nickelpenny: What's a flashback?

Fig Wineshine: It's a - it's not important. Listen Penny, F. Scott was murdered and we are so close to finding out who did it. We need to get inside and talk to Willy.

Penny Nickelpenny: You think she did it? Ha!!

Fig Wineshine: No.

Penny Nickelpenny: Ok good, I don't think she could spell "murder," nevermind commit it.

Fig Wineshine: She's here right?

Penny Nickelpenny: Oh yeah, she's here, Cliff, Leery, Whitley, Darby, Juniper, Rex and Lex, Mel's just shuffled them all on to other projects.

Ford Phillips: Hold on a sec. Penny, did Willy ever give you a coworker bracelet?

Penny Nickelpenny: Sure. Right here.

[She rolls up her sleeve.]

Penny Nickelpenny: I still wear it even though it don't go with nothin’ in my wardrobe. She's... a simple girl.

Fig Wineshine: She's simply the key to the whole thing. Let us in and we can bring justice to whoever did this.

Penny Nickelpenny: Ehhh.... Fine. But no one can know it's you. You're gonna need these.

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): Fig and I made it through the lot and to Wilhelmina's dressing room without being recognized.

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): Because we were dressed as giant bunnies.

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): They didn't need to know that.

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): You can't be withholding pertinent information in a mystery podcast, it's not playing fair.

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): You're one to talk about playing fair.

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): What's that supposed to mean!

Ford Phillip (Voice Over): I don't even really know, I'm still just mad!

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: Are you guys having a voice over fight in your heads?

Ford Phillips: Yeah, how'd you know?

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: You both look pretty constipated.

Fig Wineshine: Willy, good to see you. Sorry about the bunny costumes.

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: Those are costumes?

Ford Phillips: Listen, we need to ask you something about the coworker bracelets you made.

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: I'm sorry Ford, the answer is no. Until we're actually coworkers, I cannot make you a coworker bracelet.

Ford Phillips: That is not what we need to ask you.

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: Oh great. Because that was very hard for me to say.

Fig Wineshine: Willy, we think someone used one of your bracelets to murder F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: But why would they do that? That's not what coworker bracelets are for. In fact, it's the opposite!

Fig Wineshine: We just need to figure out who you gave them to and who still has them.

Ford Phillips: I don't know. Maybe this is all wrong. Even when you take the bracelet off, it's barely long enough to wrap around even part of someone's neck.

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: Oh, if you need them to be longer, I actually started out by making coworker necklaces, but those were too hard.

Fig Wineshine: No, Willy, we don't actually need them, we're trying to find-

Ford Phillips: Wait, you made necklaces?

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: Yeah, I made two, for the other two people brought on to the project at the same time as me. Fig Wineshine: Who? Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: Whitley and Leery. It took much longer to thread the beads, and I also started out spelling people's full names instead of the word "coworker." But do you know how hard it is to spell Leery O'Shaughnessy? Imagine if you had to write that into, say, a script for an audio narrative, many times over! It's so hard. There are two Hs in there. Why? No thanks, so I started just making bracelets with one easy word. Do you guys want one?

Fig Wineshine: Willy, I have one. You gave it to me when I was hired.

Ford Phillips: And you just told me you couldn't give me one because we're not coworkers.

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski: I was hoping you wouldn't remember that. It was so mean of me.

Fig Wineshine: Ok, if Willy made Whitley and Leery necklaces, then one of them has to be the murderer, right?

Ford Phillips: Whitley's the only one with a clear motive and no alibi after the party.

Fig Wineshine: Let's go find us a Trufflehaus.

[A musical interlude]

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): We tracked Whitley down on the set of the new movie he was directing called The Pirate's Daughter. A massive tank had been set up with about half a pirate ship floating in it. Extras in costume mugged on the deck while crew members operated wind and rain machines.

[SFX: Crew mills about the busy soundstage. Wind and rain.]

Pirates: Are you the pirate’s daughter? I’m the pirate’s daughter. No, I’m the pirate’s daughter!

Whitley Trufflehaus: And CUT!! That's a cut! Cut on the wind machines, please. Please stop the wind!

[SFX: Rain stops. Wind keeps going.]

Fig Wineshine: Heya Truffleburger, nice to see that you landed your next gig so soon.

Whitley Trufflehaus: Fig Wineshine! Are you the new Pirate's daughter? The one they originally cast was just awful! But Mel loves you!

Fig Wineshine: Not anymore. I'm actually here on business. My other business.

Whitley Trufflehaus: As a giant bunny? Are you taking me to Wonderland?

Ford Phillips: No, these are - can we just take these off?

Fig Wineshine: You can, mine's pretty comfy, honestly. So, The Pirate's Daughter. What's this based on? A novel? A play? A comic book?

Whitley Trufflehaus: Ha! Can you imagine a movie based on a comic book? Fling us into the sun if that ever happens. No, this one's all original. I guess this mysterious madman threatening all of Hollywood is actually getting his way.

Fig Wineshine: Well, can't say I'm not excited by the ends, but the means? Those have gotta go.

Whitley Trufflehaus: Can SOMEONE. For the love of GOD. Please. Turn off. The WIND MACHINE!!

[SFX: Wind stops.]

Whitley Trufflehaus: THANK YOU! Thank you.

Ford Phillips: Whitley Trufflehaus, it's come to our attention that you and F. Scott Fitzgerald had a long standing disagreement over his wife, Zelda. A disagreement that spilled over into professional matters.

Whitley Trufflehaus: Wow. Not what I was expecting from a man in a giant bunny suit.

Ford Phillips: Ok, this thing is coming off.

Fig Wineshine: What my partner is trying to ask is-

Whitley Trufflehaus: Did I kill F. Scott Fitzgerald?

Fig Wineshine: Well... Sure, let's skip to that part.

Whitley Trufflehaus: You know, there was a time when I think I may have been capable of that. Love does crazy things to you. He never deserved Zelda. He ruined her life. But I... I have been in anger management counseling for years now, and I've learned to cope with the things that - (to a passing crew member) - do NOT put that light there, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL MURDER YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR SLEEP, THAT LIGHT IS NOT MOTIVATED, YOU THINK THERE'S TWO SUNS YOU ABSOLUTE EGGHEAD? - the things that set me off in a much more measured way. So no, Fig and Mr. Rabbit, I did not kill F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Ford Phillips: Right. And did you receive a necklace from Wilhelmina when you first joined The Grapes of Wrath?

Whitley Trufflehaus: Why yes. It had my name in bead form. It was a sweet gesture from a... simple girl.

Fig Wineshine: Yeah, everyone's really glommed on to that adjective when talking about Willy.

Ford Phillips: You still have that necklace?

Whitley Trufflehaus: I wear it every day.

Fig Wineshine (Voice Over): Whitley loosened his tie and reached under his shirt collar, pulling out Willy's necklace. Sure enough, there was "Whitley Trufflehaus" spelled out in beads.

Whitley Trufflehaus: Reminds me that we're coworkers. Although I guess we're not anymore. Either of you want this?

Ford Phillips: No thanks. I'd hang on to that if I were you.

Fig Wineshine: Good luck on this next movie, Whit. Hope it's not a sinking ship like the last one.

Ford Phillips: Also... you know where we can find Leery?

[A musical interlude]

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): As we approached Leery's dressing room, we heard the unmistakable sounds of his guitar. Whitley told us Leery had just been moping around set as he got ready for his role in a new, original movie called "Getaway Sticks," about a charming criminal who signs up for one last job. And probably sings.

Leery O’Shaughnessy: (singing) Sure is an awful sight, when I see my reflection...Why would anybody else want to see it tooooo....

Fig Wineshine: Hey Leery. You, uh, you doing okay?

Leery O’Shaughnessy: Fig Wineshine! Well if you ain't a sight for sore eyes. And look who you brought with you! Grip Holdstuff. The grip!

Ford Phillips: No, that's not - do you not remember how that whole thing went down?

Leery O’Shaughnessy: I remember it was a resounding success, except for the sandwiches.

Fig Wineshine: And the fire.

Leery O’Shaughnessy: Oh yeah. So what can I do you for, little lady? Did you come by this sad old bone orchard to hear my caterwauling? Here you go, been working on this one for a spell.

[Leery strums, but then:]

Ford Phillips: Actually, just one more question before you regale us with a song. You remember if Willy gave you a necklace with your name on it?

Leery O’Shaughnessy: Oh sure, she did. Spelled it with 3 H's, but you know... she's a simple gal.

Fig Wineshine: Stop calling her that! She's very sweet! You still got that necklace?

Leery O’Shaughnessy: Why no, Miss Figlet. Lost that fine piece a while back. I was mighty disappointed, too. It was a day or two before Mel's holiday party. Went to put it on and it seemed like it had been snatched right from my dressing room table.

Fig Wineshine: (sighs) Shoot.

Leery O’Shaughnessy: Say, maybe I can hire you to find it for me! Heard you were a PI on the side.

Ford Phillips: How did you not know before? That WHOLE thing with Zelda... Everyone on this set is working with half a brain.

Fig Wineshine: Well, thanks Leery.

Ford Phillips (Voice Over): Fig and I stepped into the hall just outside Leery's dressing room as he went back to practicing his song.

Fig Wineshine: What do you think?

Ford Phillips: Someone could have stolen the necklace from Leery and used it to kill Fitzgerald.

Fig Wineshine: Then why not frame him for the job? Leave the necklace on the scene?

Leery O’Shaughnessy: (singing from his room) My true love's got a new apple of her eye, I dream of puttin' them out of sight-

[Leery's guitar string SNAPS.]

Leery O’Shaughnessy: (from his room) Whoops! Put a little too much mustard on that one. Snapped the string clean in half! Let me just fix that.

Fig Wineshine: (whispering) Did you hear that?

Ford Phillips: (whispering) The other marking on Fitzgerald's neck. It wasn't a lasso. It was a guitar string.

Fig Wineshine: (whispering) It must have snapped when he... You know. And then he used the-

Ford Phillips: (whispering) Oh my god. The number 7. It wasn't a 7 at all.

Fig Wineshine: (whispering) It was an L.

Leery O’Shaughnessy: What are you two whisperin' about over there? Come on back in here and tell me if this chorus is any good.

[The Case of the Greater Gatsby closing theme plays]

Mary Kate Wiles: Shipwrecked Comedy Presents: The Case of the Greater Gatsby

Written and created by Sean Persaud and Sinead Persaud

Featuring: Sean Persaud as Ford Phillips Joanna Sotomura as Claudette Knickerbocker Sinead Persaud as Fig Wineshine Julia Cho as Sheilah Graham Matthew Mercer as Mo Beats Mary Kate Wiles as Vivian Nightingale Tommy Hobson as Barnaby Nightingale and Pirate Joey Richter as Officer Lauren Lopez as Penny Nickelpenny Sarah Grace Hart as Wilhelmina Vanderjetski Parvesh Cheena as Whitley Trufflehaus And Carlos Alazraqui as Leery O’Shaughnessy

Original music by Dylan Glatthorn

Audio recording by Noah Hunt Audio

Mixing and Sound Design by Lizzie Goldsmith

Executive Producers Paul Komoroski & Michael Walsh

Produced by Sean Persaud, Sinead Persaud, and Mary Kate Wiles

Special thanks to Kickstarter backers Katie Adamczyk, Ally Brown, Zainab Khan, Shao Chih Kuo, Jane Leach, Avalee Long, Lisel Perrine, Halsea Root, The Rude Mechanicals, Heather Tennant, and Justin Waterman.

Please rate and review the show wherever you listen. Join us on Patreon at patreon.com/shipwreckedcomedy to receive early access to new episodes and other bonus content, and to support us making this show.

Visit Shipwrecked Comedy on YouTube to view the prequel film for this series, The Case of the Gilded Lily, or many of our other projects, like Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, our eleven part series that imagines a bunch of famous figures from literature into one dinner party that goes terribly wrong.