ramshead_mixdown ===

[00:00:00] Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Mr. Pick Me and the Manhater podcast. I am Regan, a. k. a. the Manhater. I am Testo, a. k. a. Mr. Pick Me. Why is your voice so weird? I don't know what you're talking about. What have you done? What? Are you? What prank is this? Why? And we are going to do a podcast show for you today.

What? I had it. I thought you were going to be so messed up over the election. You were gonna let me do this goddamn intro? I was, I just said the words. I said the right words. What have you, what was that? What, what? Remember I, I got a thing that I thought made noises? It doesn't make noises, but it can change my voice.

So I can do like, Hello, hello, can you hear me? That's awful. Is this how we're doing the podcast right now? No! Alright, so [00:01:00] what are we going to talk about today, Reagan? I would like to talk to normal Chesco. Maybe, maybe normal Chesco was the friends we made along the way. Is the normal Chesco in the room with us?

Look at that! I'm normal now! Therapy be damned, you're normal now. Yep. Hey everybody. We're both doing great. What'd it be worse if I talk normally? You're like, Oh God, that's your real boy. Jake says, go back. As you all know, there was an election that, uh, was, didn't go. Good. Um, and we, we just devoted, you know, hour, maybe an hour plus on our Patreon, kind of having a postmortem talking about it so that we could be, uh, as, you know, open and honest about how we really feel about everything that went down.

So, uh, if you want to hear that, you can go check that out on there. Uh, but we're, we're going to use our podcast more as. [00:02:00] Go back to normal, escape, escape and unpack misogyny and kind of fight in that way. Uh, and, and I think, which I think does, that still does good work, but we are, we're going to save that.

You know, if you want to hear all of our very unhinged thoughts about what just happened. Um, you can, you can go onto our Patreon, but we are going to do a normal show today. For you all that maybe are looking to escape from that, uh, hearing about it constantly for the past week, at least for an hour.

We're gonna be a little bit silly. Um, so in alignment with like, wondering how people think the things that they think, and what other viewpoints they may hold, I have a few gems for you and Chesco today, because there are two subreddits that I found some very interesting things. One of them was Which is a classic of mine to check out, which is the Nice Guys [00:03:00] subreddit.

And the other is the subreddit NotHowGirlsWork. I'm a moderator on that one. Which is just a bunch of men making claims about women that that's not how girls work. Theme song you want bad advice, man. I'll give it out. I got some good advice for you Got

some good advice for you

Because it real quick, um, my wife the other day said to me she was like i'm surprised you're not someone that like Deep dives on like forums and reddit like the shows you watch and everything I was like, what are you talking about? I do that. That's all I do. That's like I'm she's like, when do you have the time?

I was like my brain is weird. I will do everything simultaneously I'm grading speeches while playing a video game and [00:04:00] also reading up on doctor who fan theories and stuff I did the same way. I'll be on my phone and watching a show and I'm like, I don't think, I think something's wrong with me. She looked at me like, it was, it's very rare at this point, you know, 14 years in a marriage where you learn something I think new about your partner, you know, and she looked at me like, how did I not?

I was like, how do you think I know so much about all the shows we watch and about, like, all my little special interests? She's like, I thought you were smart. I don't know. You just picked it up some. You read books. Books? On TV shows? Lame. Let me get out this novel on episode three. Yep. Although some, if you look at Game of Thrones, you might, you might know.

Okay, so, My first, This Well, this is my favorite one. We have the picture of a uterus. Okay, you guys know what all the uterus looks like, right? So you have like Paint it, paint the picture for me. [00:05:00] Okay. And then next to it is a satanic ram skull. And seemingly they have a similar shape and it says this explains a lot.

I almost said, yeah, it looks like a cat head.

I just like you like. Like, yes, you hate women. You're right. The uterus is demonic. Just your, just the old ram skull. It's not enough that like, it's a creepy looking ram skull. They made sure to put a pentagram on the top. Of course. Of course. I mean, where's the lie? Well, the pentagram was originally a feminist spiritual symbol that they're like.

Curses. It's evil now. So, you know, they're not wrong about that. I think, you know, the, the reality is the, uh, [00:06:00] uh, it's, we're talking about uterus though. So this is Joe. I was going to make a joke about them. Never seeing a woman's, uh, uterus is about the same as seeing a satanic Ram said in real life, but I was like, no, that doesn't work.

We're not talking about, I don't think you can see their uteruses. Yeah. I think the joke stands. You're just as likely to see a demonic ramset as you are a uterus. To be in close proximity to a uterus. Actually, you know what? I'll give you 500 if you can draw a uterus right now. Label even one part. You know which part they can't label?

Uh uh. G spot. Bum, bum, bum, bum! Fuckers. Have you seen, uh, the Roe vs. Bros, uh, trailer? Interviews. No, it's good. There's a woman that goes around just interviewing these. It is horrible. These guys about asking them the most basic gynecological questions about women and just staring at them as [00:07:00] they say. The absolute dumbest one of my favorite one favorite ones.

I say just because it's it's so horrifying to see them Why are there different sized tampons? Oh my god. What do you think? They answered Reagan? There's different size vaginas It was all about it's it was some woman have a have a bigger doesn't go back to its shape. It's just always large. Just it seems some women have one.

There's one of them were guys like, well, someone have slept with more. Oh, God. I'm so glad these are the men that are making laws on our bodies. Uh, also, did you know that they tested tampons on water? Yeah. Which is why they don't work. Yeah. Thanks for watching my content, Reagan. Yeah, you know what? I do need to hear more from a man about I need to educate you on Please.

All of these things. Regale me. And it, people, people, the thing that's the most shocking to people is that they just found that, that, [00:08:00] that this out, like, last year. Yeah. Well, there's also lead in them. So go figure. And they're like, we didn't test it. We, we didn't even think about it. It's the same thing, right?

Why, why wouldn't they absorb? Well, they're like, there's lead in your T amounts. Okay, cool. Uh, did you test that before? Wow, didn't even bother to. What? Does it hurt women? Women are naturally immune because of their demonic uteruses. Yeah, they have the pentagramic ram's head inside of them and that wards off lead.

I believe I read that in a book. It was the Bible. Oh no! The letter to Matthew in the Atheistians. Oh my god. Oh, okay. Oh, my Ram's head. Oh, Ram's head. Oh, Ram's head. What do we got next? M I W? What's W? What's M I W? Am I [00:09:00] weird? Am I wrong? Am I wrong? I bet it's Am I wrong. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Am I right? For cutting off a lying friend's owner, I, 34 male, had a friend, 29 female.

We talked often through social media and spent time together. When schedules and finances allowed. I also did a few favors for her, such as giving her rides to work because she doesn't have a car and couldn't always afford or get an Uber to her in time. I also did bigger favors, like picking her up and taking her home from a bar after she drank too much, even though it was 3am and I had to be at work at 7am.

After being friends for about one year, I shared my interest in being more than friends with her. She said that although she was grateful and appreciative to have me in her life for the favors I'd done, and admitted that I did stand out from most of the guys she had encountered. She also said, it's not that I don't want to date you, it's that I don't want to date anyone right now because I've had too much bad luck with [00:10:00] dating recently.

She told me those things on Wednesday. The following Friday, she posts on Facebook that she's attending a karaoke night at a local bar with another guy. The next day, she posts again, announcing they're in a relationship. I messaged her and called her out on the contradiction between her recent words to me and her actions, and how I felt that I'd been lied to and taken advantage of.

Her response was essentially, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not sorry about what I've done. She also tried to explain that she'd known this guy longer and some similar BS. I deleted and blocked her on all socials and my phone and haven't spoke to her since. Am I wrong for cutting her off and burning the bridge?

Yes. Or no, maybe. I think you did her a favor. I think, I think, Are you wrong for, for feeling so angry about this? Yes. Is it best for everyone that you did that though? Also, yes, also, yes. And this is why it's, it's so, so problematic. Um, [00:11:00] misleading and like going for, you know, trying to pretend like he's her actual friend and then getting upset.

When she clearly says, Hey, I don't want to be with you. You know, I guess she could have been more honest in, in that, but it's probably because she didn't feel comfortable, which I get, but it's like, I don't understand the disconnect. Yeah, behind guys doing the exact same thing they would do for their male friends and not expecting anything in return, but then doing it because it's because it's this, this overt sexualization of, of you are the only purpose you can have in my life is being a possible relationship partner.

It's so frustrating. It shows the transactional nature that a lot of men have with women. And again, like, If it's a transaction, you have to be up front. That is the rule of transactions. As it, like, here's, here's a pen I'm loaning you, and then you take the pen, and they're [00:12:00] like, that'll be 500. You're like, no, I did not know that you're, you, I didn't know that, so no, I'm not paying you.

It's the same thing, it's like, then be upfront about it, tell her. If that's how you feel, then say, hey, I'm picking you up because I want to sleep with you. Will you do that? No, because you know, that won't work. So knock it off. And at a certain point, like, why are you, if she said no, like if you were honest, let's say you do that.

And she's like, no, I don't want to. And then you keep doing it. If you, you're the problem, like you're, you're very clearly, uh, The issue there, like just at a certain point, you just have to like move on. Um, and, and fight either find a real friend, uh, or, you know, find someone who actually likes you. And that's the thing you think about how much time is wasted.

Also, these guys are always like, well, I can't find any, I can't, there's nobody that wants to be with me. It's probably cause you're spending 90 percent of your time chasing someone who's been open and honest about not wanting to be with you instead of continuing the [00:13:00] search, continuing to meet new people.

Finding someone who might actually like you and maybe nobody will like you because you sound like a terrible person, but there's, there's surprises out there, there's a bunch of weirdos out there that'll be weird for you. And like that you're weird. Okay. I'm already laughing. So this is like the next level of that guy.

Uh, so we know that those guys often go like the passport bro route. Um, and they fetishize and fantasize about, uh, like any other, not like, just not Western women, you know, like anybody else. So here's a cartoon. Uh, from NotHowGirlsWork, and at the top it says Asian, Eastern European girls, and it has this beautiful, this beautiful woman with like cherry blossoms over her head, a little [00:14:00] sketch if you will, and the text underneath it is, You think I'm pretty, Anon?

I guess so. You're such a gentleman. And then you have western girls, and there is a rat like drawing of a feral looking woman, and She has no cherry blossoms, just absolute frizzy hair, and her quote is, I'm a bad bitch and you know it, 50 for a feet pics.

Like this, this is what they think. Ugh. I'll be with you forever and I, for, That's what they're expecting. What are you talking about? Making 50 for feet pics because I am. I'm going to get on that in a second. Yeah. You want to see my mangled athlete feet [00:15:00] for playing soccer for all those years? I thought you meant you have athletes feet.

I don't have any, I don't have athletes, but my, my feet are, my toes are not nice. I broke my toes a lot playing soccer and I never got them fixed. Cause I didn't have health insurance. Yeah. There might be a market for that though. You don't know. There probably will be. I, they, I have the, I'm looking at, I have no socks on right now cause I don't like socks.

Um, anyways, my feet are, they're not, I don't think they're ugly necessarily, but they're not, you, I wouldn't be a foot model. Well, maybe you could, if you just say you think I'm pretty enough. I'll get an AI face of like a woman and sell my mangled man feet pics, hairy feet pics. That's an ally. To them and be like, what?

You don't like my feet? Well, it's just so interesting because I'm like, Your insults of hers that she's saying 50 for feet pics, like, but in that case, are you not asking for feet [00:16:00] pics? Like, what, what are you asking for? How did this conversation start? Where, I personally never in my life, I don't know if this is a brag or not, had someone say to me, Hey, 50 for a feet pic.

How would this conversation, how would it get to the point where somebody is saying that to you enough that you felt the need to make a meme about it, that they're saying, I'm a bad bitch and you know, at 50 for feet picks, um, I don't know, what are you saying to, to get that, to get that response? You're probably saying, I'll send me pics of your feet, feet pic question mark.

I guess it would be. Be picked on tinder or whatever. Yeah, it's the first thing. Yeah. I noticed you didn't have any pictures of your feet on your profile. Mightn't I bedamsel? Mightn't you send me? a picture of your, your feet with Lotus Blossom. [00:17:00] Melanie picks at their fingers nervously. I hope this isn't too much to ask a goddess like yourself, but I like to see my woman from the tip of their head to the tip of their toes.

To know who I, so I can worship you correctly. I'm sure it was an oversight on your end. Yeah, surely. Surely, would you send me one? And then she says, they

wouldn't do that in, in any other country. I go and Eastern because they're going to be like, yes, I would love for you to see my beautiful toes. It's so bizarre. They have such a weird perception of other cultures. Cause I'm like, Do you know those women? Like, do you know them personally? Because sure.

There's other countries that also have a patriarchy and also have rampant misogyny, but like, you think that they're just going to be [00:18:00] like infatuated with you. Like, they're just going to adore you. Like, how does that, how's that going to work out? But yes, they do think that. I think that's the, the, the issue is that they're absolutely think this is, that's what it is.

They buy into it. Cause also I think they, they. Mistake a someone who might be desperate to escape the situation and be willing to lower themselves to be with you and think that the relationship you have afterwards is going to be this lovely, happy marriage that follows and not simply a transactional situation where they're doing whatever they have to in order to Sadly, very sad, like, like disgustingly sadly willing to lower themselves to be with you in that situation if they're in a, uh, tragic situation, um, that's what you're fantasizing.

Yeah, it's like in that case, you know, it's almost like. against her will and solely for survival. But you're like, that's my dream. [00:19:00] They convinced themselves that it is a cultural thing, that it's not somebody willing to be with you for the sake of self preservation. Instead, it's no, it's just, it's just over there.

They like guys like me. They know how to take care of men like me over there. It's like, also take a compliment. Do you have the funds, sir, to travel there or to facilitate their lifestyle here? I doubt it. That's what I feel like, that's the other issue is they'll never ever be able to afford to even test out the theory.

So they can live in the fantasy of this theory and never have to worry about being proven wrong because they're working on Arby's. No offense to our Arby's workers. If you work at Arby's, it's not you. It's not you, but if you have a co worker like this, it is him. And you probably do. And you probably already know.

We're not telling you anything surprising. When I, I posted a video that was like, hey, if [00:20:00] men vote against your rights, then don't let them touch your body. And one of the most popular responses from men was passport bros. Like you're going to see the rise of passport bros. I'm like, in this economy and the way it's headed under the next person in power, we'll see how many people you'll be flying in on your jet.

Okay. Okay. Here's another one. Hey, Chesco. I'm in the meme? No, it's your face. Uh, ah! That's not how women work. Uh, so I don't like that you screamed looking at my face. If you were scrolling on NotHowWomenWork and there was just a picture of my face, you'd probably be like, Oh! Nah, I'd be like, yeah. That makes sense.

We don't know her deal. Okay. So, why would you say Women get breast reduction. What would you guess is the number one reason? Probably back issues like health issues. It's interesting You say that because [00:21:00] this has an article the title the power of smaller breast. Okay breast reduction is Is all the rage in cosmetic surgery.

Are women asserting their independence or capitulating to yet another impossible standard of beauty? And the person who posted it said they're doing it because of back pain you absolute twits They're saying that like Women are either getting breast reductions to middle, like middle finger to men or they're trying to hit a beauty standard.

It's like their backs hurt. Yeah, I would imagine. My back hurts, like my back's been hurting. These men live in a world where nothing happens that's not centered around them. Anything a woman does is to please or displease them. That's, that's actually great. I didn't even think about it from that perspective.

That's the only possible reason why a woman could get a medical procedure [00:22:00] is, is like a, a serious medical procedure too. It's, you know, is. Is because it's a, another way to, to impress them or to get away from them, get away from them, which how is it both you're covering the whole gambit that there's only two options.

Either they hate us or they want to sleep with us. Oh my God. Yeah. I, it's not just the two literal boulders. They're carrying on the front of them. Yeah. I had a, I had a friend that got one, uh, and she said her quality of life has improved. Oh my God. Yeah. Across the board and also she said it is part part of the quality of life approval Maybe as a point is that she doesn't get as much weird comments from guys anymore uh, because she said she used to get all these like Over, like, because of the fact that she was, she was a tinier person with just, it was just very disproportionate and she would get constant comments about it, um, from men.

She was like, that has been a, a fringe, uh, fringe benefit? Yeah, fringe benefit. Fringe benefit [00:23:00] to, uh, that she did not plan on, but it's been, it's been a nice added bonus to, to not having horrific back pain constantly. Are you telling me that there are things women do that aren't just for my gaze?

Are you saying your visual or your friends that are gay? Oh, my God. When I hear gays, I'm always like, yes, the gays, the gays. We would never do it. They were doing it for you. That's true. It was for Reagan. What? Don't say people are getting breast reductions for me. That's so bizarre. That is a weird cut.

That's kind of the entire episode is let's start over here, everybody and welcome to miss. Okay. Why are you waiting? What are you waiting for? This is what I find disturbing about modern women. They view marriage and sex as transactional. You provide me with this and I will grant that. [00:24:00] And if the man declines, what do women do?

They either pull away emotionally or physically or both. As if they can coerce a man into doing what they want while he doesn't want. The end result is the same. The woman doesn't get what she wants and ends up alone and miserable. Men don't look at life this way. Most men want peace and quiet. They want to come home at the end of the workday to unwind, not be bombarded with chaos and endless queries about why didn't you call or text, or I called you eleven times and you didn't pick up, or this needs to be done right now, or the kids need baths, I need a break, or I've been with these kids all day, they were in school from 7.

30 to 3. 00 p. m. and spent the next 90 minutes doing homework, I need a break. No man worth his salt wants this. Go ahead, feminists, flame away. I don't care. This is a cold hard reality. There are studies which track, track marriage and divorce that conclude by the end of the decade, 40 percent of all women over the age of 28 will be single and have zero prospects, not only [00:25:00] for marriage, but any kind of monogamous committed relationship.

Main reason, men don't want career driven boss babe alpha females, and they don't want to compete with a partner. There was a lot of very specific information in that. Why are all his examples like you're not answering my calls and the kids need a bath and here's the kids schedule. This is a man who is married.

Mm hmm. This is a man with kids who's mad at his wife. Mm hmm. I love that what he's mad about is like, they're always bothering you with you didn't answer my call. It could have been an emergency. I called you 11 times. Like, seems like you were not answering a phone call. Right. I love when men are like, we just want to Come home to peace and quiet.

And it's like, so what you want is your wife to not have any break. You want the break. You don't want her to have it. And you want her to facilitate peace and quiet for you because she still has all this thing. She's got to take care of the house. She probably has to do dinner. She's probably taking care of the kids.

You want her to make that happen for you. You [00:26:00] want her to be your emotional regulator and to do nothing to upset you. That's not life. That means you can't regulate your own emotions. You're basically a baby. It's a very weird thing to like, to be like, I want to be away from you all day and then I want to get home and not hear you at all.

I want you to exist in our home in a separate sphere than I exist in. But I love you, baby. But don't, don't ask me about the kids we created together. I do still want to have sex with you though. I really, I need you there for that, but don't expect much. I don't talk to me. Don't look at me while it's happening.

Just quiet, quiet. Let me get this over with for both of our sake. And there's so many men that believe that, that they should just come home, but it's like your wife then is handling everything else. She's handling all the mental labor. She's handling the household. She's handling the kids. Like that's not how it works.

You cannot. Create children with a person and then say, [00:27:00] but I'll never want to hear him or see him. I don't want to answer any questions. Like, so then the only alternative is she is handling everything. If you're not being bothered by stressful questions or decisions, then she is, she's making all the decisions because she can't talk to you when you're at work.

Cause you're not answering her calls clearly. And the only time she can talk to you, you're saying, don't bother me. Don't bother me. That's why modeling behavior is so important for your kids to see, especially like if you're, and this is like for any fathers that are hearing this, you know, there are some that listen to us, right?

That it's, it's important for them to see you doing dishes, to see you doing laundry, to see you actively respecting the, like giving your, your partner time away from the family to, to, to doing the things that, that You would want them to have in their household. You know, I want my daughters to see the way I treat their mom.

And then to know that that is the bare minimum for the future. If 40 percent of women are [00:28:00] going to be alone, I, I don't want them. I, if they're going to be alone with friends and happy and haven't lived in life, that's a much better experience than being in a household with a person that views them as property, doesn't actually like being, that's not a happy.

I don't, that's the, Oh my God, she's single. That's not my biggest fear. My biggest fear is that she's ends up with this guy. It's you. You're the fear that keeps me up at night thinking like, Oh my God, am I doing enough to, to build them up, to understand that they deserve more than this transactional bullshit that these guys are offering.

And it's so weird how normalized it is. Like, did you ever play the game? Don't wake daddy. Yeah, yeah, it's that like it is so normalized for the entire household to bear the burden of the dad's like emotional Well being and not upsetting him for any reason whatsoever that they made a children's game of it where you tiptoe around the bed Don't wake daddy even though the kids are obviously up because mom is up taking care of the kids like it's [00:29:00] so weird how much like Like even upsetting men or like bothering them with you know, the role that they chose to do You And it's so weird how normal, like men not being able to, to be functional adults, because like, you don't get to turn off like that.

You're an adult. You don't get to turn off that you're a parent, except when they get home, that's what they want to do. And it's because a lot of these guys grew up in households where they saw that. And they just, they just didn't expect anything to change. They're like, yep, that's what I want. I want to treat me.

That looks great. You know, my mom was depressed and cried a lot, but, uh, but it was, you know, that was, that's what I, I, my dad seemed like he was in a good place. My dad thrived. Well, that's the thing is I think a lot of the men like. Men didn't see, when they were boys, didn't see that side of their mom. The daughters did.

And daughter said, I don't, I sure as hell am not going to be that. Like I'm not crying in the kitchen. I'm not separating on the holidays. All the women in the kitchen and the, [00:30:00] the men watching sports while the boys were like, this is great. We don't have to do anything. There was a video not to get more serious in this, but there was, it was a kind of trad wife, uh, talking about how she was like, here's why you should never say no to your husband when he went physical.

And she was like going into, uh, she was like, because of, you know, the, it's obviously if he's not, not. being connected to you physically and emotionally and spiritually when he wants it, then he's going to start looking elsewhere. And so it's like basically blaming yourself. for preemptively, preemptively blaming yourself for if he cheats on you or when he cheats on you, respect you.

That's your own fault. You should have done more. You said no. When, uh, you were exhausted and it didn't, didn't really have, we're not in the mood. That's your own fault. You should know better. It's so interesting that it's always on his timetable. When he wants it to be quiet, it needs to be quiet. When he wants to be touching on you, he needs to be touching on you.

But then he doesn't want you in his face. So it's [00:31:00] his wants when he wants it, and you just have to submit to whatever that is in the time. So two seconds before, he may be screaming in your face, telling you he doesn't want to talk to you. Why are you bothering him? And then the next second, he could be all over you and kissing you, and you're just supposed to be like, okay, so now we're, oh, now you want me to be your wife emotionally and physically.

Like, absolutely not. And I, I don't, it's just a double standard. Cause like, I, I can't. Where myself flip into that mode, like, like where I am, like, like, you know, and, and like, I, and that's one of the reasons I understand why my wife couldn't, or why another woman couldn't is like, if I'm just like, I'm in a really bad head space, I can't just be like, all right, let's be romantic, right?

Let's say for that. Like I'm like, I don't like, you know, and I'm privileged, I think, and it's not privileged, but like, because of the societal expectations where, uh, of, of men, where if a man doesn't want it, that's okay. Yeah, because because I'm not initiating in that, uh, particular, I don't know. I'm just thinking about let me [00:32:00] give you a little secret here.

Jessica trade secret from a now lesbian, but once hetero woman and who has many friends that are still straight. They don't flip into that mode ever. They just hate it. They're just miserable. Yeah. That's my point. That was up to her. Yeah. That's what I mean is I like the men are expecting them to do that, but they're not like they're just.

Having sex when they're not in the mood. They're literally being touched when they don't want to be. They're being touched when they're exhausted. They're being forced to be sexual when they're not in the, in that head space. And that's, that's the saddest part is like, it's not a situation in which they're like, Oh, okay, well I'll just be in the mood.

Cause that's not how it works. So it just ends up with women doing things they don't want to do. I guess I shouldn't use myself as an example because I was gay the whole time. So I'm not a prime example of that. Cause I just think about myself. I was like, Oh, I shouldn't use myself because that doesn't make sense.

You know, why was this horrible? Always? [00:33:00] Well, it was horrible because the men were horrible, but we don't need to get into that. Uh, I mean, if a gay woman can be with a guy for that long and him not care that she's gay and him notice that she's gay. And just ignore it. Like, that's how bad it is. Like, cause you kind of gaslight yourself too.

You're like, well, this can't, I can't be feeling what I'm feeling. Cause that would mean something that I'm not ready to accept about myself. I mean, I've said that, but I've said this so many times just for lesbian, for anybody, like, yeah. I've said this so many times. It's like, do you understand how little men have to care about how, like a woman's like enjoyment of the situation for me as a lesbian, to like, you know, Have gone, gone into my twenties, mid twenties without having a problem.

Because men don't care. Like, they don't care that you're not in the mood. They want what they want. And, um, that's horrifying. It's horrifying how normalized it is for women. Like, women who are blatantly like, no, I'm not interested. Like, like you see it all the time. It's like, ugh. Like a guy, like, literally being like, please, [00:34:00] oh please.

And then her being like, ugh, whatever. Like, that's not normal. That's not enthusiastic consent. And like, why would you want to sleep with someone who's like, not interested? That's a part I don't get. It's very weird to me. Like I like, and like, I don't think, I don't know, maybe it's, I don't, I don't want this to be a weird thing that, that like, for me to be like an exception where like, if my wife's not in the mood, I don't want to be with you.

Like if, if I, if I don't know, she's experiencing pleasure, right. If she's enjoying it, It wasn't a good night. What's the point? Yeah, well, I think that proves the conqueror kind of thing with these guys is it's like, maybe the pleasure is to getting her to when she doesn't want to. Because it's not about the experience, clearly it's about your experience, but you're not getting, you would not be getting the feedback.

So it's, it's just, I think it has to be that there, there's some enjoyment by, Getting people to do what you want, there's no other explanation to me because like you, you would know the [00:35:00] difference you can always tell when, when, uh, talking to other guys too, if, uh, how honest their partner is with them.

Like if they think that, uh, they'll be like, Oh no. Yeah. She, every time she's getting off every time. Guys are like, they think, they think they are 100 for 100. Like, they are amazing. And I'm like, Oh, what do you, and, and like, it is funny. Cause this is me, this is 20 years ago. Me remembering conversations. I was like, what's your technique.

And, and it, or something like, you know, you're trying to figure stuff out. Cause I was, I was, especially when I was like 20, I was like a little virgin. You speak your ways, you know, what do you do? And it was never like, actual good advice about foreplay or no, I remember, I wish if I could have known 20 years in that, or like if I could go back in time and like rehear some of those conversations, the advice was horrifically bad.

Always. It was never like actual, cause guys will get explicit to and talking [00:36:00] about stuff. And if you're a little virgin boy that you're, that you're, you're like, Trying to take notes. I remember just like trying out certain things like, you know, the stuff that I was like capable of trying and it was like, this is the work.

This seems like she's not enjoying this at all. She hates it. Why aren't you like, Oh God, like that. Like, as I'm trying to be PG 13 here, but it was like, and I never did anything wrong. I was always very, you know, and it's not, that's not surprising to anybody. I was never doing something like bad, but it was like, yeah, The, the stuff they were talking about.

I'm like, this feels like it was for you. That's the thing is most of what they enjoy is for them. And it's also, it's never like. Wow. She really, really enjoyed that. And I'm, that is so awesome. It's like, I'm so good at sex. You don't even know. It's like, what? Like what? She said I was real good after I asked her 25 times.

He made me get off of her. She was, she couldn't take anymore. She's like, we're [00:37:00] done here. And she shut her door, man. The other thing is that I've noticed is like. Men will use the same technique on every woman as if every woman has the same wants and desires. Like, this is my move. Like, I, amongst us lesbians, that is not the way it's talked about.

You know, it's like figuring out your partner. What does your partner like? And like reading their body language and like trying to figure out like, they're like this and asking, being communicative about like, what do you like? Because I can do what you like versus like, this is my thing. I do that works every time, which I know it doesn't because everybody's different.

Everybody, what they want is different. Their sensitivities are different. But damn, if I feel like guys are like, this is my, my super cool move that I use every time. And all women love it. That's exactly the advice I was talking about though. Like they were, they would say like, Oh, this is what you do. You bump a button.

It's because, and this is, I'm sure that's what they do every time. Yeah. [00:38:00] Every single woman thinking that that is that's it because she because she made especially when you're young too and you're trying to like you like the other person you want them to not feel bad you're probably acting out as if you enjoyed it you're like oh that was terrible but i also think that like your experience and that is so many younger men on the internet listening to like dating coaches it's like the issue they literally don't know what they're talking about they say things that cannot be true like there's nothing that all women like Period.

And yet, this is the advice that they give, and like, because you don't know anybody, you're like, oh yeah, that must be it. And when you're inexperienced, you have no, yeah, you have no life experience to judge it against. You're like, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, this guy is confident. He's certainly confident. He seems to, and like, look, did you see?

He said he'd been with 50 women. He told me explicitly, there's no evidence of this, but there's these models he hangs out with that I'm sure he's not paying. No. I'm sure those are his friends. Uh, [00:39:00] yeah, it's, it's sad, but you know, I think the other built in thing that men like that have is they Thrive off of misogyny.

So if anything doesn't work, it's like, well, that woman sucked. Uh, that woman didn't appreciate you. You know, there's a built in blame women. So I mean, great business plan. It's, it's the, the issue right now. And this is why you're seeing like the all right pipeline with, with young men, um, is because it's, it goes back to it's easy answers, right?

It's like, Oh, the guys, this is the easiest route to get what you want. And you're going to like this. Because it benefits you 100%. Uh, and you don't have to care about anybody else. And it's, it's very enticing for, and they're seeing these, these very, especially when you're young or so hyped up on like puberty that you're like, Oh, I want to be a tough guy.

I want to be a cool guy like these guys. And you're [00:40:00] so, you know, you're, you're thinking with your crotch and you want to, you're, you're, you're not finding out how to do it. And so you listen to these. quote unquote, alpha male guys online that look like they're living a life that seems fun. And sooner than you know it, you start believing the very bullshit that they're saying, even though it's not working out for you, even though you're still struggling instead of thinking, maybe that's not the right path.

You double down on it. And because you're so far in at that point that admitting that what they were telling you is wrong would mean that you wasted 10 years of your life and money learning and money and how count, how much money did you waste trying to replicate what they were doing? And, and so, and that's a very hard, you know, what sunk cost fallacy, right?

The idea of you've already put so much time into it. You don't want to backtrack. And especially if they're hitting these boys and getting these messaging to them when they're 14, 15 years old, you know, they're, they're hitting their adult lives and already having put. All of this time and effort [00:41:00] into learning the wrong things.

And that is way harder to deprogram than, uh, than simply learning the correct way to begin with. I can feel like my rage crawling out my face, like redness, because like, I don't, after this, after this past election, okay. And, and the response to it, which for the record, everybody listening this, this second that he was, The vote, like he was, what is it?

He was, he's the president elect or whatever. Um, the second those, those, the results came in the misogyny on my page went up like 400 percent and partially it's because I said, don't let men who vote against your rights touch you. That too, but in ways I have never seen, I've definitely come across it, but it was unreal and like for the past, however many years I've had so many men in my comments being like, ah, the loneliness, male epidemic, male loneliness epidemic is such a [00:42:00] problem.

We really, you don't care about that and you don't care about their feelings. Now, you know, and I get all the time. We don't want you. We don't want to sleep with you. We hate you You're gross men don't want women and i'm like that's the opposite of what you were saying to me These past four years when you were like literally going off on me my comments about how much I don't care I don't care enough it's like Now all you're saying is how much you hate us and how you're gonna go to a different country to get somebody and how we're all ugly and how you You're glad we don't want you and i'm like You What a switch up of energy.

Isn't that so interesting? How quickly that happened. Yeah, all you men who were so lonely and these young men who went out and voted against women that they supposedly wanted, now all of a sudden you're, you're, you know, you have those boys who were chanting your body my choice. And high schools, like there's, and I've had that exact phrase in my comment section.

It's like, so I guess you [00:43:00] weren't that lonely. I have, uh, my Facebook page because of the fact that I will watch, I get sent all these like misogynistic dude videos all the time to critique and I'll watch them and I'll save them. And I'll send myself the algorithm algorithms. Like, Oh, he must really like, Oh, he's a misogynist.

I get it. You like these things. And so I'll get, I'll get, Tons of this stuff in my feed now. Uh, and there's a lot of people that are just not believing that that what you just has is even happening. They're like, nobody's saying your body, my children. Yeah, I know. They're like, that was just a joke by one guy.

It's happening all these places. They're like, no, I don't believe it. And that's the issue we're up against. I feel in, in not just forget. The political system, this is a global issue. This is not just an American. Oh no. It, the misogyny and patriarchy. Yeah. Uh, but the issue is that it's, they don't, it goes back to, they don't believe women, right?

When, when they're saying, no, no, this is what I'm experiencing. Oh yeah, I bet you are. No one's actually saying that. No, [00:44:00] no, look, look there, look at my comment section. Okay. I bet it's there. And they just won't even look because it's easier just to pretend like there's no problem whatsoever is there and just move on with their life.

Cause that's, it goes back to over and over. What's the easier. Um, thing to do, it's, it's all the, the goods, the, the way to make deciding more just to make, to make, to, to defeat the Patriot, to make it, which benefits men as well. All of that stuff takes work. All of that stuff takes a lot of effort because they're, cause it's so entrenched and it is better.

It's, it would be very easy for me to just flip my channel. Into being this, this, like one of those guys, right. And I could probably make a lot of money doing that. And it would bet in it individually, not I, and I say this because obviously I'm not doing that because I don't believe it actually. And I would show up at your house.

Yes. And you, I would, I would be murdered by unknown people, [00:45:00] but, uh, individually. I could benefit myself and make a lot of money and, and, you know, do all sorts of things like that. But like, I don't, there will be no, there's your, your life is not better as a result of those things because you can own, but the only way you can, it's narcissism, right?

The only way you can enjoy that is if you do have these narcissistic traits and tendencies, and we all have, I'm not going to say I have no narcissistic traits at all. Right. We all, we all do to an extent, but it's, it's just this really entrenched. Uh, gross, toxic aspect of narcissism where, uh, that goes above and beyond self preservation and, and, and, and just where you just don't care about anyone else other than yourself.

Anybody who's abusive. has narcissistic traits. Anybody to, in order to abuse, you have to have narcissistic traits because you have to be willing to harm others and like not care. And we see that in, so like [00:46:00] these systems of power, like they are abusive to people, right? You're abusing power, right? So, um, Oh yeah, I, I totally agree that the reasons people don't do this are, you know, narcissistic in nature, but there's also this, it's this illusion of power in a, in a way, because.

These men in the patriarchy, like they're being harmed by it. And they really, most men aren't actually seeing the benefits of it. Right. Uh, like actually in their lives. But what we see is this illusion of, Hey, I mean, I may be at the bottom of this grouping, um, cause you know, capitalism, capitalism and the patriarchy are, are, are.

Bedmates, they love to say you're you're what you're what you're about to say is probably aligns exactly with economics Yeah, so what so basically we have you have misogyny the patriarchy and you have capitalism Capitalism is screwing over everybody except for the elite, right? So people are getting screwed over their life sucks They're wondering why they don't have control.

That's when the patriarchy comes [00:47:00] and says, oh, baby. Don't even worry about it Don't worry because I will give you women You have control over women, and you can take your hate out on them, and you can, they are meant to appease you, and, you know, no matter how bad it is, at the very least, you're not in that group.

It's the same power structure as racism, basically, and fascism. Power, whoever's in control, takes it out on the minority. And so these men, who really aren't, like, they're not seeing, uh, They're not thriving in the patriarchy. These are not the men, the men who are like subscribing to this mentality are not the ones at the top.

Usually, um, they're saying, well, Oh God, I could better the world, you know, and treat people as equals. But then the little power I have in my own mind, I'd have to give it up because in order to fight the patriarchy, I would have to say, I am not above women. And I like having that little bit of power to know how to, [00:48:00] no matter how bad it gets, I am superior in my own mind.

And that's why they don't want to give it up because the illusion of superiority to them, uh, serves more purpose than equality in the world. And the worse your life circumstances get, the more you buy into that as well. Yes. A hundred. That's why we see that because people like. Instead of addressing a capitalistic system, which we're all in, where you have viable concerns, it's so much easier to just hate women and minorities.

Like, it's easier for them to just say, it's this, this group over there, at point, look over there. Capitalism, look over there. Fascism, look over there. Let's be mad at them. Once we get rid of them, everything will be fine. If the woman just get in line, if they just cater to your needs, if they took better care of you, if they slept with you, everything would be fine and you would be happy.

Well, guess what? No, you wouldn't. But it's easier to believe you would it's easier to think and I also think it's an outlet for hate I think people are miserable and they in [00:49:00] turn make other people miserable and they're scared They they're there's justifiable fear, but they it's harder to like you think about that.

I think about like the Transphobia. Yeah, it's it's it women are scared of men Right. There are men that straight cisgender men that are doing these violent crimes. But it's that the accepting the fact that half of our society could be a predator to you. It's much easier to focus in on this 1 percent of our society and say, Oh, no, they're the ones that want to be in our bathrooms.

They're bad. They're doing these things that we don't like when a reality that the safest group. To be right. You know, it's like when you look at the actual statistics, you're more at risk in your church, right? And so it gives you a, it gives you a quantifiable thing to express your fear and your anger onto, um, that, that doesn't have the power to fight back the boogeyman, the 1 percent of the population you can blame your problems on.

But there's also the fact a lot of it is misogyny, right? Oh, [00:50:00] absolutely. Which I would, I would argue a lot of homophobia is actually misogyny because You're mad at the men who are expressing what you perceive to be, like, womanly traits and you're disgusted by them. It's interesting because, uh, I think there's a lot of internalized misogyny in women and their issue with people who are trans.

And what their actual fear is, when you ask them, they say, they don't say, I'm scared of trans people in the bathroom. If you, if you really dig down on it, they'll say, I'm afraid of predators or men putting on a wig and assaulting me in the bathroom, which I'm like one, they could do that right now. Like that could happen at any time.

They're not waiting. Right. Oh, once I have my, then I'll commit a crime. I won't commit the, I won't go into a bathroom without permission, but I will commit crimes. But what they're talking about is predators and trans people are not predators. Like that, that's not. That's not at all a correlation. [00:51:00] And even in when describing the action they're afraid of, they're not talking about it.

They're talking about predators weaponizing the existence of trans people. And even if you, if you go, even if you like, okay, so you're really afraid of predators, like When has a bathroom ever stopped a predator? And also, statistically speaking, a trans person is much more at risk for S. A. or just assault in a bathroom using the wrong bathroom that is not to the gender that they're expressing than anybody else.

Like, do you know how many trans people are attacked in bathrooms? Like, there's a lot of statistical evidence for that, but there's no statistical evidence of trans people attacking people in bathrooms. But it's so much easier to hate the boogeyman. It's so much easier to hate this far away thing that you don't have to take action towards, that you can feel emboldened.

Another good example is, People are really, have a lot of conspiracies of Hollywood elites and, and child trafficking or whatever. Okay. [00:52:00] Which is a very, child trafficking is very real and is horrifying and is something we need to be addressing. But they focus on the boogeyman in Hollywood that they have no control over rather than going into their churches.

And going into their communities and seeing how they can aid people, children in abusive homes. Or seeing how they can look into their churches and see, are there men that are abusing power? And holding men responsible. There are so many things one can do in their actual communities. That would be helpful.

That would, that would mean possibly ostracizing yourself from your church, possibly making an uncomfortable situation with the uncle that, you know, did something or, you know, all the, it's, it's once again, it may, it takes away their comfort zone. So it's easier to, I can yell at the Hollywood elites that I will never have access to.

Yes. Never because I'm powerless though to do anything for them so I can just focus that there because instead of actually acknowledging the actual change you could make in the lives [00:53:00] of real people. And I think that's the difference between people who. A lot of their beliefs are theoretical versus people who are living the effects of those political, like political beliefs, because, you know, people have a lot of theories about like, whatever, whatever conspiracy theories they have.

And yet, and they're, they're theoretical fears of trans predators in bathrooms, right? We, we have no statistics for that. There's, if there've been any, there's not even enough to do studies on. And again, you're talking about predators, not trans people. Every single discussion I've had, I have never had someone talking about an actual trans person.

Okay? They're theoretically upset about the possibility of trans people. I know trans people who have died. I know trans people who have unalived themselves. I know trans people who are questioning their entire life, who don't know how they can exist. I know trans people who have been discriminated against, beat up.

There [00:54:00] is actual death, actual violence for them simply existing. Scared for their life every single day. For existing ostracized from their families, the percentage of like trans people who are ostracized and then homeless, staggering, horrifying for simply existing. That is real. That is right now in my face.

And if you cared to look, you would see it. That is, that is no boogeyman. That is actual life that they are being forced to lead because other people are scared of an imaginary boogeyman that doesn't exist and has nothing to do with them. They are being punished in the real world. But no, no, no. But this thing might happen.

Possibly my imagination and my imagination. And so it's, it that's okay if it's happening to them. Because neither one of these situations affects me, but one of them might affect me. One of them imaginarily could affect me in the future. If my imagination comes true, that would affect me. So I'd rather just keep things the way they are because [00:55:00] that happened to them.

I'm not one of them. Until you are. Until someone you love is what, you know, is part of that community. And in which case. It's basic empathy. It's literally just caring about other people. But, you know, here's, like, again, I'm not, if you care about the children, absolutely. So do I. So do I. Let's do things, like, right now, there are so many things you can do in your community.

Do something. Uh, have a group. Have a, like, do a support group. Do a fundraiser. Be outspoken about, like, the signs of abuse. There's so much research on, like, What to teach kids so that they will not be the child that predators look for, right? We know that kids who learn about their, learn the, their proper terms for anatomy.

We know that kids that are outspoken, confident, we know those things, right? We know those are proven to make them less, likely to be victims of it, right? Support systems, um, all of these things. So do real [00:56:00] things. Don't, don't think about the boogeyman. Focus on the actual harm that's happening, and actually take action, rather than theoretically take action, or take action towards a theory.

Please. For the love of God, I know, I think that's a great ending, I think, to. Because now I'm upset because now we're getting our, you might, you might see some underlying connections to why we're feeling this way. We're talking about here as well in our real, real world, but we love you all. If you're listening to this podcast, we likely love you.

Here's, here's the thing. I love everyone. That's the point. I want the, listen, I want the best for everyone. I do not stand by people who do, who actively harm others on purpose who don't think other people deserve the same rights as them. Exactly. That's the point. This is me saying, you're actively choosing to do harm and I want no part in it.

It's easy to join the club of empathy, just have empathy, [00:57:00] and uh, you know, make choices with other people in mind. And practically do good. Don't theoretically do good. Practically make choices that have positive impacts in this world. And even if the risk is losing the current community you have, is that a community you want to be a part of?

And two, there, there are, there's a whole nother community of people that are much better to be around and much healthier to be around and much more loving to be around that exist and are waiting for you when you do leave that, that group is, is it's hard to see them now because it's very, it's Systematically, they're hidden from you when you were a part of whatever abusive group you are, you are a member of right now, but just know that there are other people.

There's other community to be had. And, uh, it, it, it's a hard transition, but in the long run, it is better. Agreed. Thank you for listening friends. Uh, thank you for being here. I hope, you know, we're here and we're with you. If you're going through a hard time right now with everything that's going on. [00:58:00] We are also really, really struggling, but we want you to know we see you and we love you and we're here for you.

So we will see you also next week. Bye Bye