Caylee Episode ===

Chesko: [00:00:00] What's up everybody and welcome To your favorite podcasts, favorite podcast, Mr. Pick me in the man hater. I am Chesco, AKA Mr. Pick me who has already been picked. So I don't know why they keep calling me that. And today we have a fill in man hater for you. Reagan is away today and I'd like to welcome Kaylee Cresta to the show.

Chesko: Kaylee. I think it's an important question to ask before we begin. Why do you hate men?

Caylee: That is, that is the million dollar question. Million dollar question. Yep. Um, should I really answer this question?

Chesko: Why do you hate me, Kaylee? Why? I just want to be your friend. You're so mean to me. Cause when you clearly when you're, when you're critiquing these toxic dudes online, I should take it personally every single time and be mad and angry at you [00:01:00] because I share one trait with these guys.

Caylee: Absolutely. You should be, you should be offended as a good husband and good father. When I talk about bad husbands and bad fathers, just because. You have a similar appendage.

Chesko: That's really what this is about. This was a gotcha moment for me to, to, to take on and defend my fellow men who I clearly am think you are.

Chesko: I don't know what I'm going with this, but welcome to the show today. Kaley. Uh, today we are going to do a little bit different. We're going to talk about some videos we've already made, uh, on the internet and some of the guys who've already responded to do, to do, to do, but in a long form format, and I'm sure we have a lot more to say than what we throw into our minute long videos on Tik TOK.

Caylee: Oh, yes, absolutely.

Chesko: [00:02:00] Theme song. I got some good advice for you. No, you don't. I know you don't.

Insecure Guy: I got some

Chesko: good advice for you.

Insecure Guy: No, you don't.

Caylee: I know you don't. Shit. The other day I'm scrolling through social media and I see Checo responding to the skid mark, man.

Chesko: Oh, the skid mark, man.

Caylee: So I go, I search every search bar of every platform, trying to find Mr.

Caylee: Skidmarks. Couldn't find him, couldn't find his video, so somehow, he must have scrubbed himself from the internet

Chesko: because He's good at scrubbing one thing.

Chesko: If he could just take that and apply it to his underpants, that would be problem solved.

Caylee: So I had to text you and be like, do you have, do you have that video so that I can [00:03:00] respond to it? Cause I had so much to say. So I thought we could, we could start about talking about him.

Chesko: We did an entire episode on this before, and I thought this would be, not on this guy, on the previous round of men shitting their pants.

Chesko: And I thought clearly we're done with this topic. Oh yeah. You would think so. This is something we are, there's no more to be said about this particular issue. But no, I'm

Caylee: sorry. I didn't know there was already a shitting men.

Chesko: It's okay. We're like, so we're going topic to topic this episode. So this will be fine.

Chesko: I think it needs to be addressed again, though. I think it's important to talk about it again, because clearly we didn't solve the issue. Although the last time that that was about shit and men actually. shitting themselves. And so this one, this one is a, is a little slightly different topic and here I'll play it right here.

Skidmark Guy: But real men have skid marks because we fart a lot [00:04:00] and we have jobs that make us sweat, sweat plus farts equals skid marks. So men don't go home and like ball your underwear up and hide it in the bottom of the hamper. Be proud of it. You worked hard for those skid marks and women, if you're tired of looking at them, then you need to buy black or Brown underwear.

Skidmark Guy: It's that simple. Like who decided to make underwear white? I guarantee you whoever decided to make the first pair of men's underwear white was not a real man. They're probably like a buck ten, five foot two, and never sweat a day in their life.

Caylee: How many men talk about women putting down men for being short?

Caylee: Often hear women talk about that, but yet this man is saying his fellow man is not a man if he's five foot two. So I just. It's

Chesko: definitely there. There's a, and I don't, who knows how tall this guy is also. There's definitely this whole, uh, any, any man will, like, and it's [00:05:00] funny, I've heard different guys.

Chesko: Like there was a guy that was clearly 5'10 He didn't say he was 5'10 but he framed his video like, um, here's how many women who will want a guy that's 5'10 and up. And it's like, I feel like there was a reason you chose to go, but like, cause it's always the six foot and he chose to say five foot ten.

Caylee: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Had to get himself in there.

Chesko: But he, I guarantee you that guy would intimidate and, to other guys that are, are smaller or, or little. And it's, it would be a talking point with them.

Caylee: Absolutely. And I, I just, first of all, um, First thing that stuck out to me on this video was that this man had such a heavy smoothing filter on his face.

Caylee: Okay. So he's out here announcing to the world that he has dirty underwear, but he didn't want people to see his pores. He

Chesko: did not. He's okay with skitties, but not draws the

Caylee: line at textured skin. That's where he draws the line. [00:06:00] Um, and you know, I had a lot of people respond. In the comments talking about, you know, how there's been studies about this, um, you know, and, and the way that men kind of conflate this with homosexuality.

Caylee: If they're, they don't want to touch their

Chesko: butt because,

Caylee: and the fact that somebody could be that fearful where that could even be a thing is really concerning to me. Right. And you start to see why are men not Prioritizing things like emotional intelligence is these are the things that are taking up their brain space.

Caylee: I get it. I totally get it and I had a woman. I'm sorry. This is I had a woman in the comments. Talk about how she had hooked up with a man and then afterwards there were skid marks on her sheets [00:07:00] and that will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

Chesko: The, the original video, the one before this, like a couple of months ago that, uh, we talked about the amount of stories that I heard from women of different, of similar stories was, I, I, I almost didn't want to read the comments of this one because of the, of how much it, Haunted.

Chesko: I don't understand it though. Even it's just like, I don't, and I get, I'm a little bit more like of a, of a personal hygiene is really important to me. Like, I like, I like to like, kind of excessively where like, I get, I get very, I'm very noticeable. I have a very sensitive like sense of smell. And so I'm always constant.

Chesko: Like I w I want to make sure I'm clean. Why would you not? Just, I don't walk it around the day and like, and going to like, especially when I was, sorry, I'm going, I'm like trying to jumble my thoughts into a single, especially when I was dating. Right. I, even when I'm just by myself, I like [00:08:00] being clean. I'm very much adamant about that.

Chesko: But when I was. Dating before going to a date, especially if it was with someone I was with and I knew we might be intimate with each other. I was making sure I was triple cleaning myself everywhere. I wanted it to be an enjoyable, as enjoyable of experience as I could make it right for the other person involved.

Caylee: You know, there's an entire group of men out there that are claiming things like this as, as a pinnacle of masculinity. And it's so dangerous when I think of. How many young boys saw that, right? How many, and I would hope that they're not looking at that man for, you know, paternal tips. Life

Chesko: advice, yeah.

Caylee: But still, you know, it's just, and then to go, oh, You know what? It's the fact that he's wearing white underwear. Not the fact that he has shit in his drawers. No, it's that there's white fabric

Chesko: to show.

Caylee: So you can

Chesko: [00:09:00] see it. It's not that it's there. It's that you can see it. If that's your issue. Yeah. On those lines, like it's not a matter of, um, doing something to, to, to get rid of it, to hide it, to camouflage it, right?

Chesko: Camouflage your dookie, like that's so weird that I've never, never once in my life have I been like, Oh, this is why I don't like tighty whities. Like that's never been. Ever been my, I don't, I just don't enjoy those. I colored underwear is great. I think that's fine, but it's, I've never been like, you know, I want some black undies just in case I get a, I get a deep skid mark on there so that nobody sees this never, and if this is an issue that you're having, you should be wearing tidy whitey so you can bleach the ever living it out of those and get whatever the strongest bleach you can get.

Chesko: To clean those off of there. That's the color you [00:10:00] should be wearing to fix that problem. But the fact that, and he goes, I don't, it's, there's so many things. What is it? It's not even just the, uh, the fact that he's, he's like, you know, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. And, and, and like. Because you worked hard for them?

Chesko: Because you worked hard for them? You should take pride in it. He said you should literally have pride in a track of poop on your undies. I don't. I can't. I just don't get it. Why? Why is this happening though? And also, you know, they talk about like a male loneliness epidemic And they want to blame women for it.

Chesko: Is this why? Is this what's happening? If you, like to any men, I know I have male listeners that hear this, if you Are lonely and, and you're worried about, and maybe it is hard to beat. [00:11:00] Well, maybe you're not even getting to the point where you are someone could ever even see your underwear. But assuming you ever want to get to that point, if you want it to happen a second time.

Chesko: mm-Hmm. , make sure that if her face goes anywhere near that area, she's not getting a big whiff of your, your droppings.

Caylee: Yeah. No. No, don't do it. And here's what really kills me, and I have to say this, okay? The most masculine men I know are not constantly trying to prove their masculinity. Like, if somebody was to say to me, what is the fundamental trait you look for when judging someone's level of masculinity?

Caylee: My answer would be that they're not trying to prove their masculinity, right? So for that to extend to a point where you are trying to prove your masculinity, By having skid marks, we have reached a [00:12:00] dangerous place. a dangerous place.

Chesko: You can't just take bad things about you and say that's what men do.

Chesko: You can't just do that. That's just, that's not allowed. You can't just take all the most unflattering aspects of your personality and be like, real men do this embarrassing thing that three year olds do. No, they don't. I'm sorry. They don't clean your asshole. It's all it comes to. It's wiping habits. Like it's, this one especially is just simply you and it, and it they're there.

Chesko: I've seen men respond to, and they're like, well, you don't need more than two squares. Yes, you do. Yeah. That's all you need. You just need, you need that. If you're using more than that, you're wasting paper. No, that is a good use of paper. I am very environmentally conscious. I believe in recycling. I If you need two ply, uh, if you need to use 25 squares, 50 squares of, of two ply to make sure that you're not [00:13:00] burdening your partner with, with, with brown stains in your underpants, then you waste that paper.

Chesko: We'll save the environment another way, we'll figure it out. Buy a bidet. All right.

Caylee: By the way, I learned in the comments how accessible those are

Chesko: on Amazon.

Caylee: So there's really no excuse.

Chesko: I got sent a really nice, I don't have no idea to this day who sent it to me, like a thousand dollar bidet. Um, but it, it's one, it's one of, you have to actually like fully install it.

Chesko: Into the pipes. Like it's, it's a, it's a real cool thing. Um, and so we're moving, I don't want to do it here cause we're going to be moving in the next year. Uh, and so I, I'm, I'm holding off, but I am, I'm so excited about it.

Caylee: That's amazing. I love that.

Chesko: No idea who sent it to me. Someone sent me, I think it was a result of that first Dookie video I made.

Caylee: That's where we

Chesko: come from. But it was somebody [00:14:00] I, to be clear, I did, I, if anybody is new joining us, I don't know why you wouldn't have seen this before. I wipe myself. I am very clean. I've said, I think I've said that enough times already, but I'm excited for a way to get even cleaner. You can never be too clean.

Caylee: You can never be too clean. Never be too clean. Nope. Absolutely not.

Chesko: Did you see, uh, the video I made about, uh, Australia? Yeah.

Caylee: No,

Chesko: related to this.

Caylee: Oh no, but I wish I did.

Chesko: So I'm getting tagged now in, in videos. I don't want to be tagged in and set. I think I'm getting known as a, I think as the guy that calls out guys for shitting themselves.

Chesko: Um, and so this is not a shitting book. This is, but it's, it's, Arguably worse. Um, so the Queensland, Australia, and I don't think this is a, I'm much loved my Australian listeners, right? This is not an, I don't think, I think this is probably more of a global thing. [00:15:00] It's just, they are the, they were the ones that were conscious enough to make an announcement to try to help their men.

Caylee: Okay.

Chesko: They said there is a problem with smegma. Do you know what that word is? No, it is a cheese like substance that forms. On the penis when you don't clean it properly.

Caylee: Wait, this is a thing.

Chesko: Yeah, it's a real thing. And so they made an announcement, uh, out with, uh, it had a cartoon. You know, I'll put for the video listeners.

Chesko: I'll throw the cartoon up here and have like a cheese board. And someone said, this is that, is that where from under cheese comes from? Like from, um, And so, uh, they, they put the, they had this cheese board and it was a sad smegma cheese. Uh, it's just saying, um, and they get the [00:16:00] entire thing was like, Hey men, here's how you clean your penis to avoid.

Chesko: That from buildup, right? Cause apparently, and this is, this is not to disclose too much, but this it's, it's more common in uncircumcised males. Right. And so, uh, it'd be because, and it's, uh, but it can happen to everyone that does not maintain proper hygiene, uh, there, but they basically, literally the instructions were mind blowing things.

Chesko: And I talked about this in the video, like, uh, use soap and water. Get a washcloth, dry it off. It was just, just clean your penis. That's all it was. It was just telling me. And there was, uh, there was one woman who responded. She said, it's actually very common, uh, in, uh, a lot of like evangelical communities because, uh, the, the fear of touching yourself, like, because masturbation is, uh, is so like shunned and talked about.

Chesko: So a lot of boys [00:17:00] will not clean themselves because they were afraid. That it will be like an affront to God. Yeah.

Caylee: See, that's like when I think of, right, because I mean that I could go on a whole other rant, right?

Caylee: The idea one, that this was happening. I had no idea this was taking place in the world. Um,

Caylee: fact that hygiene is not being properly discussed and. I'm going to kind of go off on a tangent, just bear with me for one second, but when we talk about parenting, right, and we talk about, um, you know, mothers, a mother's role in a child's life versus a father's role. I think a lot of times mothers assume that they're going to take on [00:18:00] the role of teaching, um, their daughters.

Caylee: Hygiene and the father will take on the role of teaching their son male hygiene, right? I just think that's the default in some households. Is that why? Right? Because we see that a lot of

Chesko: yeah,

Caylee: common complaint the father's Aren't stepping up in their parenting responsibility. Like mothers are not to say there are some wonderful fathers, but we have to say, why is there such an, an epidemic when it comes to male hygiene?

Caylee: And I think we have to at least consider that it could be that.

Chesko: I mean, maybe if you're, if you're coming home every day and seeing your, your dad's bowled up shitty underwear on the floor, uh, you know, and, and it's, you're right. And if there's never, and if he never mentions anything to you about any of Men don't talk about that.

Chesko: Right then. Yeah. Yeah. You're not wrong. Although I was raised by a single mom. She never had to have [00:19:00] a conversation with me about how to do clean my ass or clean all those things. Like it was just, I mean, basic hygiene talk of course, but like I never, I never had to, you know, You know, I think, and I don't, that could be part of it.

Chesko: I'm not, I'm not downplaying what you're saying, but like, I think it's the example, maybe they're seeing too, from that there's there from their fathers that are being set for them, uh, in those homes is you're probably not wrong.

Caylee: Absolutely. But I think, you know, in addition to, if we go back to, to skid marks, this idea that being dirty,

Chesko: right.

Caylee: It's a masculine trait.

Chesko: Right.

Caylee: Well, then, you know, I don't know boys who don't have a positive example of masculinity. I don't know. Did they go in that direction? But it is extremely alarming to me. Remember there was that video that was going around the woman talking about how That guy she knew, or was it a guy she dated, like, never properly washed his ass, he just let [00:20:00] the soap drip, like, this is a real thing that's happening in the world, and it blows my freaking mind.

Chesko: And I think, it goes, it comes back down to also, uh, The, uh, misogyny and I think really, because it's, if you claim to like women, you would want them to also enjoy the experience that involves your nether regions. And as we have it, it turns out that nature evolved us so that we are, our pleasure organs are right next to our poopy organs.

Chesko: Right. And that's, that's just what it is. Right. And if you. Are conscious for a second of the other person that you're with, right? You will want them to have a, an, an, as enjoyable of experience there as possible, but if you're only concerned about your own pleasure, then yeah, you might be shitty and [00:21:00] cheesy.

Chesko: Well, God,

Chesko: let me take a moment. I'm so sorry. I think this is going to be the episode that gets our podcast, like. We're moved off of iTunes. No, no. Uh, but if you are, if you are unkempt In that area, and above and beyond, and this is not, I guess I should be clear, this is not shaming people for any natural smells that may occur, and it goes for men and women, there are, there are scents that can occur, that your body makes, that's, that's not what we're talking about here.

Caylee: And we're also, and you're right, we should put out a disclaimer. We're not talking about people that can't bathe because of, you know, mental health struggles. We're not talking, we're talking about people that genuinely, you know, cause I was just about to, to bring this up to a certain extent, I even think there's men who kind of in, [00:22:00] In a weird way like oh, yeah taste my cheese, you know what I mean?

Caylee: I don't think that exists like it's a rug

Chesko: like a degradation kind of kink like, uh, yeah,

Caylee: absolutely and I I am I am All for whatever anybody wants to do as long as both both people consent and it makes people happy um, but you know when we're talking about just just people who genuinely are like No, I don't have to practice hygiene because bad hygiene makes me manly.

Caylee: No, no need to evolve. No, no,

Chesko: no,

Caylee: sir. So

Chesko: I

Caylee: haven't put this video out yet. I'll put it out today. But did you see that that video? Um, she comes home from the grocery store. She's like putting the bags down. And she goes, [00:23:00] you know, No, no, like The text on screen says when your wife comes home from grocery shopping and sees you've done nothing.

Chesko: No, I haven't seen this one Okay. Oh, I think I did get tagged in this one. Yes. Yay. I have seen this one. Yeah.

Caylee: Yeah, and she's Really angry.

Chesko: Yeah,

Caylee: I thought we could talk about that one, too. Um, because You know, I think this is another recurring issue, right? Um, And ultimately, I think there's a lot of men that honestly believe that if their wife is not in front of them performing housework in front of their eyeballs, then she must be out taking a break, right?

Caylee: There's also this, I think there's this narrative that has been painted that women Are just having so much fun at target or women are having so much fun at [00:24:00] Walmart. No That's because for a lot of women that's the only place they get to go, right? Yeah, right Okay, they have fun looking at candles Because in comparison to everything else they get to do that's what's exciting for them but if A woman has gone out because you need toothpaste and laundry detergent and dryer sheets and deodorant.

Caylee: She's not out having fun, even if she was. You should still be taking care of your obligations at home. I really wanted to address, you know, this mentality that can exist. Oh, she's out. She must be taking a break so I can sit here and do nothing and take a break myself. Um, and I think it really explains why there's you.

Caylee: There's such a problem in so many relationships, right? This, this idea of just both people not carrying their weight at home. And

Chesko: it's what's becomes like, if your focus is entirely also on like, [00:25:00] uh, who's doing like, and making sure you're each doing exactly the same at all points, that's such a toxic way.

Chesko: It's, it's what my kids do, right? When they're, when they're doing something. It's like when they're like, well, uh, she only had to put away four of those shirts. I put four of my shirts away. Why do I have to put my fifth one away? And it's like, that's, it's such, it goes back. It's such a childish way of viewing a living arrangement and we're T and we teach them.

Chesko: That's not okay. No, you clean it up after yourself. You do, you know, you, we live in this shared space or like when my daughter would be like, I didn't put that, that out or like my son, I didn't do that. Well, yeah, this is our space though. We all clean up.

Caylee: Right. And I think it goes back to this idea of, you know, exactly to your point.

Caylee: If two people feel equally responsible for what has to be done in the home. Then this wouldn't be an issue. The issue is, is that men like the man in that video believe, oh, [00:26:00] okay, well, the laundry is woman's work. So if I'm doing it, then I'm quote unquote helping, and therefore she should just be happy I did it.

Caylee: It wasn't my responsibility to begin

Chesko: with.

Caylee: And, you know, kind of consequently, if I don't do it, it's not a big deal because it wasn't my job to begin with. It's the way we're viewing these things. Um, and I I feel as though, and I'm curious if you feel the same way, every single time I address this, or I talk about it, I have men in the comments doing mental gymnastics in every direction to just not hear what I'm saying.

Chesko: Do

Caylee: you? Well,

Chesko: yeah, because it's always, well, we, and it'll always be, at least in my experience, be very specific situations, uh, where they're like, well, in my situation, we, blah, blah, blah, we, I, I do this and blah, blah, blah, blah. And she does this and say, okay, well, [00:27:00] good for you. I wasn't talking about you then.

Caylee: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Chesko: Yeah. And it's the, I think we talked about this, not this exact topic, but a similar topic when we talked about how, um, you might have an arrangement going to like parenting and having a having children and being like, okay, you, it's, it's completely valid. If you decide ahead of time, okay, you're going to do X, Y, and Z chores and then.

Chesko: The other person is going to do a B and C chores though. That that's completely valid. But you have to be willing to change and adapt and not be so caught up in that structure that you can't accept that things. Are, are, are changed. Things are dynamic, right? They're, they're not always going to be as simple as well.

Chesko: This you, why didn't you have time to do it this week? So, and it could be, maybe I'm just fucking exhausted. Maybe my mental capacity because the, you've been dealing with an, a growth [00:28:00] spurt and your child's had 25 meltdowns because they're struggling as well. And you're just trying to keep it together.

Chesko: Maybe I didn't have the capacity for that. To do the laundry today because I needed to sit down and breathe in the silence while they were at school or daycare or, or sleeping or whatever it was for that moment.

Caylee: Absolutely. Absolutely. And I, you know, something that kind of dawned on me the other day that I think I sometimes kind of take for granted or don't realize is I can come home and I can look at Ryan and say, I have nothing in me.

Caylee: I have nothing in me. And he'll look at me and go, go to bed, just go to bed, take your off, go to bed. And I know I can do that. But he knows that if tomorrow he has a horrible day and he needs to look at me and say, I'm tapped on, I, I'm tapped out. [00:29:00] I can't do anything else that he's going to get that same thing in return.

Caylee: It's just the mindset of being able to rely on your partner that strengthens a relationship. And, you know, I always try and explain it as a relationship always has to be 100%. Ideally, both of you are giving 50 percent to your partner. So you have 50 percent left for yourself, right? So it's never going to be 50 50, because life doesn't work that way.

Caylee: So you might give 60 today, they might give 40. But tomorrow, They might give 70 and you might give

Chesko: 30.

Caylee: It's a back and forth, but we have to both feel responsible for the household if we're going to ever make up that a hundred percent together.

Chesko: And we do that like I do it with friends all the time and I think guys can can see it with their buddies like I'll buy oh and I got this oh no I'll pay yeah you get me [00:30:00] next time right and I might do it four times in a row where I'm just doing especially like when I was younger when I when I got started working full time And a lot of my friends, like when I got a tenure position, I I'm friends with a lot of professors.

Chesko: Most of us were adjuncts, which pays less than minimum wage in the beginning. And so when I, when I got a tenured position and I would still go out with people, I'd cover the bill all the time. I'd be like, Oh no, I got this. Oh, I got it. Let's do this. And it wasn't like a, it was never, ever, there was never a tally in my head is all right.

Chesko: Well, when you get tenure. Yeah, so help me if you're not taking me out to lunch every single day, but that's what, yeah, but that's, that's, and that's when real for actual friends do that for each other all the time. Oh, no, no, no. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I gotcha. I'll do this. I'll do my, or even with time, like I had a friend that moved once, like every six months they were moving and I was helping them.

Caylee: Yeah,

Chesko: and it was never like, all right, well now for my next six moves, you better be there for it. It was just you for friends.

Caylee: So curious, [00:31:00] why do you think that is? Why do you? Cause I think that's such an amazing point. Why do you think men are able to see that easier with their buddies than they are with their spouse?

Chesko: Because they don't view women as the same equal, you know, Power structure as they do with their friends, right? They only view a lot. And this is not all men, right? This is the, uh, it is what Reagan's always like toxic men, right? The guys that, that believe in this, these kinds of things, like they're, they're like, well, I'm with you for your service to me, right?

Chesko: I'm with you so that you can serve me. If you're not doing those things, why am I with you? Right. And that's versus, Oh, I'm with my buddies because I like them. I don't like, I don't like my wife, right. It's an absurd thing to say. They wouldn't say that out loud, but that's. That's what it looks like.

Caylee: Absolutely. Absolutely. So what ended up, uh, just to answer it. So my, my son gets out of [00:32:00] school at 2 15. Um, but I can just tell Ryan to switch the cars. So it wouldn't be an issue that way anyways. Um, so one of the videos, just because it goes so much along with, with what you were just saying. Sure. So, That video where the guy was talking about, uh, when I get married, I will 98 percent not be finding my wife in America.

Caylee: I'm saying the video,

Chesko: the whole, uh, yeah. Passport bro.

Caylee: Yes, exactly. So I made a response to that video.

Insecure Guy: There's about a 90 percent chance that when I decide to get married, it'll be with a girl that's not from America. Men are now more objectified than women. They're simply viewed for what they can provide and what they can do for others.

Caylee: Did you hear that? Because I think that was all the women in America breathing a collective sigh of relief after finding out that they don't meet that man's criteria for marriage material. I do, however, wonder if we should be sending out some [00:33:00] kind of global alert to the women in other countries to let them know he's on the loose.

Caylee: First of all, I love how you're acting like women were just lining up outside your house begging you to take them as your wife. But I also think it's funny that you're suddenly disgusted by the thought of people being objectified now that you yourself feel you're being objectified. And you said that you're being viewed for what you can provide, but you're actually saying the complete opposite of what's really happening.

Caylee: Because we can provide now too. So we want you to treat us with love and respect because we don't need you for your money. So we keep telling you that we want you to be more emotionally intelligent and present in your relationships. But you keep telling us that men are meant to provide and protect. We want you to be equal partners, but we actually want equality.

Caylee: We don't just want the illusion of it. And it kills me because you talk about women from other countries as being superior, but you don't say it because you think they have better priorities. You say it because they have less choice. So we're the ones who are trying to change the narrative that you keep claiming to be a victim of, but you keep digging in your heels because once we don't need you, we have to want you.

Caylee: And it takes less effort to be needed than it does to be wanted. [00:34:00] I received the worst, one of the worst responses from men. I, I can't even like, I don't want to make the, the episode about this, but messages I got, the things that I had done to me, um, were disgusting. Okay. Absolutely disgusting. And this, this is what really bothered me about it.

Caylee: So I. Made the video. Now, I'm sure everybody understands a stitch is traditionally 5 seconds of a video, right? So, of course, if someone makes a minute and 50 second video, we can't show the whole minute and 50 seconds. And, to be very clear, I don't tag the people I stitch for one reason. Because my I'm always using that as a jumping off point.

Caylee: I never want anyone to go send [00:35:00] hate to someone else. That is not my goal in this world. So I don't tag them, honestly, to protect that creator from getting any hate. That's always been the way I look at things.

Chesko: My, my, just on that note before you go, like, my perspective is more so, I don't want to, a lot of these guys are trying to get, they want, People to go to their comment sections and yell at them.

Chesko: They want, because they're like, I'm going to make money off it. I'm going to get views. And then their video gets sent to more dudes that agree with them to argue in the comment sections. So I don't tag them because I'm like, I don't want to give you, I don't want to feed your ego and give you more views.

Chesko: I.

Caylee: And honestly you make a great point and I think it's probably a more important point. Um,

Chesko: You're nicer than me

Caylee: Said no man ever about kaylee cresta. Let me just say um, so anyways I post this video and I actually have a woman tag [00:36:00] the guy In my comments. Okay now turned out because a lot of these guys we respond to don't have You Turns out this guy did have a bigger following, which I didn't know when I made the video.

Caylee: Right away, makes a video calling me out for only putting a portion of his video. That's a stitch. However, in his video, he only uses a portion of my video. Right? So that was, that was okay. Um. And he is all over me for not tagging him. Then he comments on the video. I don't know what, if his comment went to whatever, starts making other videos about how I'm blocking his comments, which wasn't true.

Chesko: No.

Caylee: And the amount of men that came into my comments talking about this is why they don't want women from, from the United States. This is why this, this is why that. End. [00:37:00] The point, I'm sorry that there was kind of that backstory, I just had to throw that out there. You know, the point of the video that I made was, you know, a couple things.

Caylee: I think a lot of times, men talk about wanting to meet women in other countries. Not because they think they have better values, but they, because they think those women have less choice. Right? Um, and, Ultimately, this comes down to men saying, I don't want women, I don't want the woman I'm with to have an opinion.

Caylee: I don't want her to have a voice. I don't want her to have independence. I don't want her to have the ability to have boundaries. Right? Because how many women out there want to leave relationships, but feel that they're a victim of financial abuse? Or they feel that, you know, finding a woman outside of the country can eliminate Some of the, those, [00:38:00] those issues.

Caylee: And the fact that there were so many men that could look at that and be so personally offended, spoke volumes to me.

Chesko: Well, and it also, cause I, I made a video about that. I know exactly. Cause I stitched it and it went viral. It got millions of views. I know he saw it because he got tagged from, from dudes in my comment section, uh, that were there.

Chesko: It's like, there's a way I don't, I didn't block them. Right. He's, I know he, he saw it did not. He did not comment, did not. Tag me, did not make a video about me because I'm a man that made a video about it versus he wanted, he knew that he could weaponize the men in his comment sections to come after you.

Chesko: And that's the entirely the point he knew he was, he was angry that a woman dared to speak to him that way, that a woman dared to call him out on his shit. And that's what, and it happens all the time. All the time where someone like you or someone like drew or someone, you know, any, any of the, [00:39:00] the, the powerful women in this space will make these videos, the same video that maybe doesn't even, it doesn't even, well, drew is pretty, pretty brutal on these guys, but like, but like, like, you'll make a video that's not even about them.

Chesko: It's not even talking. Like you said, you're not even talking to them versus like, I'll make a video where I'm just going after the guy. You know, and he won't say the worst thing in Reagan. I've talked about this before, too. The worst thing that'll happen is he'll, they'll go after my, my, uh, my being a man, right?

Chesko: Oh, turning your man card. Oh, all right. White night. Or as if, and it, it, it's like, they don't, they don't do anything. To me, right? Because of the underlying reason they made that video to begin with was because they wanted, they don't like women because they will. And this is a, Oh great. An opportunity for me to attack a woman here.

Caylee: And he wouldn't let it go. He kept weaponizing his following against me every day. Had something else to say, had something else to say. And one of the [00:40:00] things I really focused on in that video, and this is what upset me the most about it was. I talked about why wouldn't you want a woman to want you, rather than need you, right?

Caylee: Because when they're talking, again, they're not talking about going to find women in other countries that are, you know, have values that they really align themselves with. That's not what they're talking about. And we know this and a lot of them straight up admit to that. Right. Um, I was specifically saying, why, why would you want someone to be stuck with you for financial resources?

Caylee: Not to say that any woman outside of you, I want to be really careful. But that

Chesko: is their, you're saying that is their perspective. Yeah,

Caylee: exactly. So, um, Why, why would you want someone to be stuck with you for financial resources as opposed to loving you and caring for you and sharing an emotional bond with you?[00:41:00]

Caylee: Men were angry about me saying that you should want a woman to love you for who you are rather than what you can provide to them? You found that to be such an insult that you had to threaten? My safety, you know, that, that's really concerning to me. And that's

Chesko: a lot of these guys. And this is the thing that wows me.

Chesko: Uh, and this is such a great example of this. They hate men more than any of us do. Right. They, they have such a low opinion of themselves and other men yet. Anyone saying that. Is, is the worst person in the world, but their actions are saying that, right? If, if you are saying, Hey guys, you can find someone who values you for who you are and not for what you provide, right?

Chesko: For, for the, who loves you as a person and not for, um, for, for your ability to save them, uh, in a, in a specific situation, they're like, how dare [00:42:00] you say that I am better than who I am.

Caylee: How

Chesko: dare you say I am capable of being loved for who I am as a person that no, I need someone. I'm a thousandaire and I can't get someone who I can financially trap in America.

Chesko: So I'm going to hopefully seek out someone where I can trap in another way, because I have no belief in myself that I will ever be able to offer someone a relationship with a person they liked spending time with or like being with aside from a product that I produce.

Caylee: Exactly. And I, I love your ability to do that, to just get right to the heart of something because that, that is.

Caylee: Honest to God, that's exactly what it is. And you start to realize that if that can make a man so angry, not only everything that you just said, but it goes to show they're not [00:43:00] craving these deep emotional connections because they don't have any concept of how rewarding they could be, right? They're not looking for that in their friendships.

Caylee: They're not looking for that in their relationships. And yet, when you do talk to a man. Like yourself who has A marriage with a deep emotional connection where you can actually look and say, your wife is your best friend. It's somebody that you can laugh with about certain things, you know, laugh about, they don't look at that and say, Oh, you know what, that's something I really wish I had in my life.

Caylee: They go, Oh, you're not a man then, because you enjoy your marriage because you don't feel you're a prisoner of your marriage. That makes you less of a man. So you start to realize that men are constantly sitting here talking about what women are doing to [00:44:00] them. Men aren't doing anything for themselves.

Caylee: And, and they're not doing anything for their fellow man either.

Chesko: I, I made a, uh, and it's kind of related to this too, the, the idea of, um, not valuing the person you're with as well. Like, cause it, cause it's there. They're basically treating women the way they expect to be treated, but then they're upset that they're treated that way.

Chesko: Right. Yeah. And so, but like, I, I brought up, uh, I don't know if I made a video on it. Maybe I don't make a lot of content, um, but, uh, but I know I made a thread about it, um, about the fact that, uh, I don't understand why, uh, so many men are upset or find a concept of, um, uh, alimony, uh, so like, Of course the person you're with should get like half should get, uh, the money that if you, if you were the, if you are in a relationship, like I'll use, I'll use my own example of my wife and I, we are in a relationship for a long time, I've built, I've built my [00:45:00] career.

Chesko: With her by my side, right? We, we've been together and it's not, there were, there were parts where she was exploring other things and trying out different jobs. It was never, our relationship was never, you're going to be the one to stay home. Right. It was, it was something that kind of, she decided as we had kids and as we did stuff, she decided that was something she wanted to do.

Chesko: But like, as a result of that, those choices though, that I was aware of that we were making, um, together, if we were to God forbid. To get divorced one day, right? The, of course she should get half of everything. And of course she, she, as at this point, especially as she, because she has been staying home, if she had to start her career from scratch, then of course she should be getting the money that I'm making because I wouldn't be making that money.

Chesko: If it wasn't for the fact that I had this partner with me on this journey, right. That if she wasn't providing value, right. You know, in our, in our, our marriage with each other. And I don't [00:46:00] understand why, but I guess the controversy comes from when they don't view their partner as providing anything other than a

Caylee: housemaid

Chesko: for them, other than a babysitter and a new, honestly, other than a Phil and mommy, uh, for them.

Caylee: And I've, I've also noticed that a lot of the women that I talk to who are getting divorced that have children find that the second that child support comes into the equation, it's all of a sudden, you force me to have kids. And I'm, I'm always so surprised by that, especially how quickly they'll say that in front of their children.

Chesko: Right.

Caylee: Like they, that, that. That child was forced upon you. Um, but it's not until there's kind of that financial attachment,

Chesko: right?

Caylee: And once again, if you really felt that way, that should have probably been [00:47:00] communicated prior to conception and not. Now, it's, you know, it's very weird to me how, and I have a lot of issues, family court is something I could rant about for days.

Caylee: And I've seen some, some really dangerous elements of family court, but the idea of somebody sitting there and saying, Hey, this person has supported my career and I wouldn't be able, I wouldn't be where I am kind of on that note with the, the video is talking about when the woman comes home from shopping.

Caylee: Have you noticed that there seems to be a new trend with men filming themselves getting yelled at by their wife, girlfriend, partner, and kind of Make it look like you're like a victim

Chesko: in

Caylee: that video online. Have you seen it?

Chesko: I have not, but that's, that does not surprise me that that's happening.

Caylee: It seems like an awfully big trend, like starting up.

Caylee: And I'm like, [00:48:00] why would you want to show yourself being a shit bag to your wife?

Chesko: Right. Because in their mind, they're not though in their mind, they want other men to see this and be like, look, look what I'm going through boys. The old ball and chain is, uh, is at it again. And I knew it was going to happen.

Chesko: So I put my phone, set it up, right. Just so you could see what I'm going through and look how great I am as the provider. I stayed, I'm still here, even though all I get is complaints about the, uh, the consequences of my actions.

Caylee: And nagging all day,

Chesko: all nagging for, you know, I, I leave all my stuff all over the floor and I get nagged about it.

Chesko: I don't help with any of the chores. I get nagged about it.

Caylee: I love that you said that because that is, it didn't dawn on me until you said it because they don't think they're doing anything wrong. And you know, so on that video, I noticed that like [00:49:00] on the original video, three of No, it wasn't. Somebody responded to it either way.

Caylee: The three top comments were from women saying, Oh, he was home enjoying time with his kids. How can you get on him about that? Let him enjoy his kids. He never said anything about he was spending time with his kids.

Chesko: Right.

Caylee: Right. Have you ever, would you ever think that someone would look at a house Being a complete mess with children running around.

Caylee: Would anyone go, don't you dare get on that mother? She was playing with her children. Women have to play with their children, entertain their children, keep them safe, clean. That's the expectation. And good fathers that feel like equal parents, good husbands that feel like equal partners manage it just the same.

Caylee: It's only when we start [00:50:00] to say, Oh, no, a father isn't a primary parent that you would sit there and say, let's congratulate them and let's reward them for sitting there and taking care of their children.

Chesko: Well, because then they'll make the argument of, and then one thing I hate because they don't actually believe it is that they're the protectors.

Chesko: Well, I'm, I protect our home. If anybody breaks in, I'm going to be in it. And sure, that might be your actual role you play, but you know, there's other ways you can protect. Women, right? There's other ways you could know and say, Hey, if it's pointed out to you that your actions. As a, as a toxic misogynist are harming women right now.

Chesko: You can also protect women by, or by not doing that. Like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I'll protect only if it doesn't inconvenience me.

Caylee: I had an ex boyfriend that used to always sit there and go, did you hear that? Can you go check [00:51:00] downstairs? That was the, he was the protector. And let's say that you really took this protector role so seriously.

Caylee: What happens when you decide you're going to go watch a late night football game with your buddies? Pretty sure, you know, she's home, quote unquote defenseless. If you're the sole protector, right?

Chesko: And all day long, but she's protected. Like it is, it's absurd. I'm protecting you. When it's convenient for me and I'm home.

Chesko: I get that. You're also protecting our house and my kids, 90 percent of the time when I'm not around them, but if that, if something happens during that 10%, I will take the lead. You're welcome.

Caylee: Especially when she's out, she's got your five kids at target, watching all of them, putting them in the [00:52:00] car, carrying the groceries.

Caylee: No, she, she has no protection then. Better hire a bodyguard. You

Chesko: know what, how they could also protect women by cleaning themselves and not giving her infections from like having your shitty, cheesy, grossness all up inside of her. That's another way to protect the person you seem to care about. Sorry, not to bring it full circle to the grossness of it.

Chesko: Oh, I love it!

Caylee: I love it. I said that in my video. I go, you wonder why your wife doesn't want to go down on you. Maybe it's because you're announcing that she's at risk of getting E. coli. You

Chesko: should not be getting food poisoning by going down on your partner. That's a, that's a, Oh God.

Caylee: I think it's salmonella.

Caylee: You ain't bad chicken.

Chesko: Nope. Went

Caylee: down on my husband.

Chesko: Nope. He was in the mood.

Chesko: Uh, on that note, Kaylee, where can people find you on the [00:53:00] internet?

Caylee: I am at Kaylee Cresta. C A Y L E E. C R E S T A. Who spells their name anymore, Chesco? It's like 2024, people put the handles. I'll put

Chesko: it down in the, uh, the show notes below. I'm

Caylee: at Kaylee Cresta everywhere, all corners of the internet.

Chesko: Do you have any, uh, final words of wisdom for the people at home?

Caylee: Missed Reagan today so much. Um, Chesco, Is just as amazing in person as he is online Um, and I am honored to have been here today and I had so much fun and thank you

Chesko: Thank you for that. We also we did a pre show. We actually kaylee and I did one so for all of our Patreon subs you can check that out and hear us rambling about other stuff that we won't put on the internet Uh, if any of you want to hear that as well, you can find us in our patreon link in the show notes [00:54:00] and That's all for today Bye

Caylee: Oh,

Chesko: and I love you all.

Chesko: I have to say that at the end. They said that's my sign off.

Caylee: Oh, I love that. I

Chesko: love, and I love you too, Kaylee. I love everyone.

Caylee: I love you, Chuck. Enough

Chesko: love for everybody.

Caylee: I love everyone else.

Chesko: Today's episode was brought to you by Tidy Whities. Keeping things tidy where it's mighty. I'm sorry, Reagan.