gentle parent_mixdown ===

Regan: [00:00:00] Hello everyone, and welcome to the Mr. Pick Me and the Man Hater podcast. I am Regan, a. k. a. the Man Hater.

Chesko: Business, business, business. Oh,

Regan: just go. They won't have

Chesko: heard that part of the show. They won't have heard

Regan: that joke. That was before we started. Good lord.

Chesko: I am Mr. Business. And this is our finance podcast.

Chesko: I am Mr. Pick Me. of the Chesco of my name is Chesco and I am Mr. Pick Me on this podcast, even though I've already been picked. Wonderful,

Regan: Chesco. No notes. Uh, also, we are not alone today, Chesco. Do you want to introduce our special guest?

Chesko: Yes, this is our, our friend, Our special friend from the internet that I don't know.

Chesko: I'm using like Kindergarten terms. I don't know. I don't maybe that's not the right way to do it. I don't teach kindergarten I never did. Uh, you don't either anymore, but no, this is frazz Hsi Why don't you tell them who you are? Cause [00:01:00] I apparently forgot how to speak today.

Frazz: In there. The only reason I can speak is because I am heavily caffeinated this morning.

Frazz: Um, my students literally used to be like, miss, have you had your coffee yet? Because I would be tripping over my words and a hundred percent of the time when they would ask me that the answer would be. You are a hundred percent correct.

Chesko: Yeah. .

Frazz: Any who? Um, I am Ariel or, that is actually very frightening for people to hear my name or you can call me Raz.

Frazz: Mrs. Frazzled, I answer to it all. Um, it is fine. Sorry to scare you with my real name. Uh, I just, I was a kindergarten teacher. I was a TikTok person. During the pandemic who was talking about teaching kindergarten, and then I had a baby and I quit teaching kindergarten and this is like the worst elevator pitch in the world and Basically, I talked to people for funsies like they're in kindergarten And that is my main [00:02:00] shtick.

Regan: Your gentle parenting is so is so amazing when you gentle parent adults like that's where I've seen like the earliest I saw your content was you like gentle parenting some adult doing something bad and it is the most amazing thing because Like, the energy they're bringing is, in fact, toddler. So, the way that you're just like, Here's how we're gonna do this, okay?

Regan: Like, no, no. No, no. Uh, I think it's, yeah, it's hilarious. And, um, so interesting to me that with such a gentle approach, you would be getting some, um, Pushback from people on the internet.

Frazz: Yeah. And it wasn't always like this, which is the wildest thing to me. I, I went back and checked and I did my first kind of gentle parenting esque video, September, 2020.

Frazz: Uh, I was teaching kindergarten online and we had like a virtual happy hour and my friends and I were having some wine and we were like, wouldn't this be fricking hilarious if we [00:03:00] talked to our, Boyfriends like they were in kindergarten or we talked to somebody on the road who was having road rage like they were in kindergarten and we would just like riff and do it with each other and I was on TikTok newly and I was like, wait, let me make this a video that would be funny.

Frazz: And I just never stopped. And I very quickly, because it was an election year, started pivoting into political, like gentle parenting or kindergarten teacher voicing politicians. And I have never had the venomous reaction that I started having this holiday season when I was like, wait, everybody's going to be with their like racist uncle at Thanksgiving.

Frazz: Let me gentle parent them and have a little holiday spit on it. And it went viral. Off the rails. I mean, theme

Chesko: song. You want bad advice, man? I'll give it out. Glad I got some good advice for you. No, you don't. You don't. I got [00:04:00] some good advice for you. No, you don't.

Regan: I know you don't. Shit, there we go. I was, I was waiting.

Regan: I was like, Checo about to have an, I'm

Chesko: waiting for it. I'm gonna do it. He's like, I gotta do it. I gotta

Regan: do it.

Chesko: go. Perfect

Regan: timing. You nailed it. Everybody nailed that. Good job, everyone.

Chesko: You were already fairly well known. You had a pretty big following even before that, though. Is this when it just hit?

Chesko: That's when it started hitting the bad side of the internet?

Frazz: Yeah, that was when it started hitting the bad side of the internet. Well, not the very first time. Let's be real. I was doxxed in Dina Harris's comment section in 2020. What? That was so bizarre. So I always knew that Fox News was going to find me.

Frazz: It was only a matter of time. That's the motto of everyone! I knew Fox News was going to find me. I'm shocked it took them four years. But, you know, once they found me, it was over. Well, it wasn't really them. It was Elon Musk who found me first. And [00:05:00] I even got off Twitter to avoid such a thing from happening.

Frazz: Son of a he got

Regan: me.

Frazz: What

Regan: kind of world

Frazz: are we living in when like Elon Musk can target a creator? Get a job, losers.

Chesko: Yeah.

Frazz: I went down to my husband and I was like, you will not freaking believe what just

Chesko: happened.

Frazz: Elon Musk is bullying me online.

Regan: What?

Chesko: What world do we live in where that's not even that surprising though?

Chesko: I know! Yeah, I'm sorry. If he does that. I

Regan: mean, if you call it Twitter and not X, he will come for you. Oh my god. Or dare

Chesko: to say the word cisgender.

Frazz: Oh my god. I think that, that is what really sets him off. They don't like that one at all.

Chesko: No, not at all. It's literally

Regan: just a term. It's just a scientific, like, that's always been that way.

Regan: Cis and gender too. Yeah,

Chesko: I will, I will get comments on, uh, cause I'll, I'll make videos about, uh, trans rights [00:06:00] and things occasionally. Or even just in general, I might refer to myself as a cisgender man. And even people that follow me and seen all my other stuff, the second they hear that word, It's just, I'll get it.

Chesko: I know there's going to be like, well, um, I just want to say, I just don't think you should be calling me that. Maybe if you wanted to call me a biological, uh, male or biological female, that's okay, but don't call me a cisgender, like, okay.

Regan: It's, it's literally like it's used in other places. It just means like the gender, like you identify with the same gender, like.

Frazz: Any kind of form of grammar, though. They, they hate pronouns. They hate prefixes. They hate grammar.

Chesko: Forget about it. It is, it feels like it should be fake, a lot of the stuff that happens. It feels like it should not be real. I

Regan: know. Well, I, I feel like they're so rarely, like, othered or any term used to just put them in a separate [00:07:00] category because they are, I don't know. Like, these type of people are often in the dominant, like, assumed category, right?

Regan: Um, so, when they have just a taste of being categorized or, or put into a group, even if this is not, like, cisgender is not an offensive term, it's literally just, like, a term, uh, they are so upset by it, which, You, one would think would lead people to see like, Oh, wow, I don't like being grouped in a certain way, you know?

Regan: Um, maybe I should have more empathy for people, but, uh, it doesn't go that route.

Frazz: I know, and I think they don't like being called cis, because when they talk about trans people, Transgender people, they are doing it in a way that is derogatory. Sure. So like, because in their mind, they think that's like an othering thing that they're doing to other people.

Frazz: Right. When you refer to them as cis, which they are, they're like, Wait, wait a second. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that. That's

Chesko: exactly it.

Frazz: [00:08:00] Yeah, and it's the same thing as like, Hey, I don't like that. It's the same thing as like the weird thing. Like, Hall's calling them weird, sent them into a spiral. And which is actually, they figured out, Somebody figured out that the whole thing with my speech that went like off the rails, it was started on Twitter by bots that were trying to attack people for like being, Weird quote unquote on the left and when somebody told me this I was like, are you okay?

Frazz: Like should I call a doctor and he was like, no, I'm so serious I clicked every link it went all the way back to the beginning and it was a bot that started

Regan: Wow Yeah, there's some weird bot stuff going on, especially in the political sphere. I don't know. I thought it was fake

Chesko: Yeah, at this point, anywhere that's still on Twitter, 90 percent of them are bots, and so, and then it's 10 percent people being upset by the bots that are, are being, posting information.

Regan: It happens all the time. It happens all the time. Okay, so let's start [00:09:00] from the top, so people know what we're talking about, like, what was the, thing that set everybody off. Well,

Frazz: I need to go back even farther than that, actually, because do you know somebody made a request to me? They were like, Hey, can you gentle parent my uncle who gets freaked out that I wear nail polish?

Frazz: And this is a man. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I'll do that for you. I love doing requests. And I made it and I was sitting in my car and I like finished it. I was like, Damn, that one's not gonna do well. I can just feel it like it's not gonna hit. Like, I don't Whatever, but I want to post it, like, I think it'll be a good message.

Frazz: Because, like, it's weird to care if people are wearing nail polish, regardless of, like, what gender they identify as. Who cares? Who cares? Well, I posted it, and it went so viral, and it went To the wrong side of the internet instantly not even on facebook where it usually goes bad on instagram And I started getting death threat instantly like what crazy death threats Uh [00:10:00] huh.

Chesko: I had that video sent to me probably a hundred because I I talk about I don't have any on right now But I talk about name polish on time. I had that sent to me like a hundred times

Frazz: people tagged you over and over and I didn't even realize because I don't, I'm not a big scroller. I'm so bad. My friends like have to physically send me things to be like, look, I made this.

Frazz: So I didn't even know that you talk about nail polish until after they were all tagging me. And I was like, Oh, look at that. Exactly. So yeah, I was getting death threats to the point. And this is like, I haven't told anybody this yet and I should probably shut up, but I'm not going to, I'll tell you. I got this message from this guy who was like on his business account as they always are for some reason.

Frazz: And this was like the third guy who had been on his business account, by the way, but this was the worst one. He made like some stupid joke about hitting me, which they all do. They all have no emotional regulation skills. So they go straight to like, I will slap you. Um, and I'm like, loser energy, right?

Frazz: Like, get it together. So he posted that [00:11:00] my followers were like, you can't say that. Like, come on, man. And he said, it was just a joke. And I said, explain the joke to me. And he did. And I said, so the joke is that you'd hit me. And he went off the mother effing rails. He went on to my, uh, wedding picture that I, I have since privated.

Frazz: And he started fighting me with me there because he knew that my followers were not on that picture from three years ago. He knew that he could do it. For some reason, didn't DM me. Don't know why. Didn't know how, maybe. Yeah, right? So he starts reaming me out. And I'm like, it wasn't even that. That was very.

Frazz: Light compared to the You know, I didn't even ratio you. Like, come on. Right. He messaged my mother in law and sister in law on Facebook, sent their addresses to them. And I was like, You're crazy. And he was like, No, I'll show you crazy. I'm gonna have the last word if I want it. Unbeknownst to me, at the [00:12:00] same exact time, he was leaving voicemails on my mother in law's answering machine that were getting increasingly and increasingly violent.

Frazz: Like, the last one ended with him saying, this is a 9mm and clicking it and threatening me. It is the scariest shit I have ever heard in my life, but I didn't know that was happening. Also, he sent the police to my sister in law's house to do a fake wellness check at the same time. So he's like making these posts on social media.

Frazz: I don't know what's going on because I was working. I've almost missed this whole thing because like I didn't think he was an issue. I was like, whatever. So I get a text from my husband. I'm putting the girls down for bed and he's like, we have to leave. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And he's like, we have to go.

Frazz: And we like, Went to his mother's house, she had picked up the phone, and there was like breathing, and then she hung up and was like, I don't know, picked it up again, and he's like, don't [00:13:00] f k with me and don't disconnect this phone, and hangs up. So she called the cops. So I'm like, getting the girls in the car, we like, barricade the house and arm it with our security system, and we go.

Frazz: The cops don't even listen to the voicemail, by the way. They're, they're, they're there and they're like, well, there's really nothing we can do. What did you do to this guy, by the way? So there somewhere is body cam footage of me being like, well, uh, I'm just annoying. Like my voice is just annoying. And he's like, well, were you harassing this guy?

Frazz: And I was like, no. Interesting

Regan: line of questioning. Yeah, interesting, right?

Chesko: What did you do to make this happen?

Regan: As if there was anything you could have done that would make what he was doing okay. Like the harassment and the threats.

Frazz: Right, so this is what I'm dealing with the beginning of that week. And then Wednesday, I was invited to do the answer the call white women for Kamala Harris speech.

Frazz: So I wasn't even, I was like, I was a mess and a half. I [00:14:00] was like, just ill over everything that was going on from that. And then I get this thing, and I'm like, okay, I'll do it, because to me, like, the question was, will you come talk about, like, the pitfalls of being political on social media? And the whole thing, the whole, um, meeting had the context of, There was a black women for Kamala Harris call.

Frazz: There was a bunch of different other affinity groups that were setting up calls, and they said, Will you do like a white woman one? Because specifically, like, a lot of people are getting involved in politics for the very first time, and a lot of people Had voted for Trump like white women. I think like 47 percent of them voted for Trump the first time and 52 percent the second time or something like that.

Frazz: Sorry if that's wrong. Um, but like the whole context was like talking about. Okay, [00:15:00] now you're engaged in politics like what's going to happen. And it was like in like a context of being a white woman on the Internet, not causing harm with that identity. Sure,

Chesko: right.

Frazz: Which is really difficult for a lot of people to understand because I have had critical race theory training.

Frazz: Not everybody has. So clearly, yeah, there was some surprises in the reaction. So I give this speech. I thought it went good. Um, thank God I did my hair and use my nice microphone. I was halfway through. I was eating snacks and I was like, I should just pop my hair and a bun and take off my makeup. Thank God I didn't because.

Frazz: It went insane when Elon Musk said, if there was an Olympia Olympics for cringe, this would win. And I was like, Oh shit. And then he posted something else. And the only reason I knew this because somebody came to my Tik Tok or something and was like, hang, Elon said that you're a cringe. [00:16:00] And I was like, no, please tell me this is not true.

Frazz: Oh

Regan: my God.

Frazz: It was. And I was just so lambed at that point. And then I got the, you're on Fox News. I just saw you on Fox News messages and I was like, Uh oh. I'm cooked. This is it. A clip from your speech was taken and put on Fox News. Yes, and my videos. Like Ben Shapiro plays my videos and was like, She's talking to people like they're five years old.

Frazz: That's the whole joke, buddy. That's literally the joke.

Chesko: How do people listen to this, this stuff?

Regan: Like, yeah, that's the joke, like literally that's the entire, I mean, shocking Ben Shapiro doesn't like get the context of something he's talking about.

Frazz: In my speech, it was presented to everyone like, hey, she does these skits on the internet and that's why she's here and she's like making jokes at these people.

Frazz: So I put in little bits of [00:17:00] like my, my like shtick. Unfortunately, like my presentation voice, like my customer service voice, if you will, is like my teaching voice. So everybody was like, she's talking like they're five. She's talking like they're five listening ears because I said, put your listening ears on.

Frazz: I thought it was five. Frickin funny. I don't know. That's

Chesko: also what we would be expecting as if anybody that follows you.

Frazz: Yeah, you, that's literally your whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing my bit. I wasn't even gonna do it because I was like, it's so corny. Like, I don't know. I don't want to do that. I just want to be me.

Frazz: And then I was like, no, Arielle, they, they get it. They get it. And some of them did probably.

Chesko: Well, I think anyone that was not. listening, looking for a reason to hate you.

Regan: Yeah,

Chesko: it was obvious. I watched, I watched the clip of it. It's, it's very clear that you're not like, all right, you dumb people listening to this right now, put your listening ears on right.

Chesko: You, you, it was very clear that you were doing a, like you were, [00:18:00] you were using a line like that as, as I don't know.

Regan: So what was, what was the, what were they taking issue with the most out of what you were saying? Like, what was their problem with it?

Frazz: The biggest issue was after I said, so here are some do's and don'ts for getting involved in politics online and then navigating the toxicity that comes with it.

Frazz: After that, a couple lines later, I said, if you find yourself speaking over, speaking for, or God forbid, correcting a BIPOC individual, Put your listening ears on and take a beat because at the same time that this speech was being given, there was a huge discourse online about people yelling at people, like telling them what racism is.

Chesko: Like, you're a white woman, you don't

Frazz: know what racism is, like, you've never experienced that, why are you tone policing people, why are you telling people, you better vote for Kamala, like, [00:19:00] no, calm down, like, listen to what they are saying out of their mouth hole, and maybe you will learn something. Like, that's frustrating to me to see online, and I think that's such a toxic behavior, but it's also something that, like, is very common.

Frazz: Yeah,

Chesko: it's so hard for people to see their privilege. Honestly, you could talk about this with gender, you could talk about this with sexuality, you could talk about this with lots of things. But especially with race, it becomes so clear. Um, and I'm a Latino man, right? I don't, I look obviously very white, right?

Chesko: And so I don't speak on issue. I don't ever do videos speaking about what it's like To, to be a Latino man in America, uh, even though that's still my, my racial background, I'm still the child of an immigrant, right? I'm still have these, these aspects of my identity, but I don't have the lived experience of what it's like to be a person of color in America, right?

Chesko: And so when you're, and even with the proper training and how to, how to talk about it, if you don't have that lived experience [00:20:00] and the training to talk about it. It usually devolves into this, just the cesspool immediately where people, I didn't mean it that way, but it's still, you did say it though. And so it's like, you shouldn't re you have to be very careful when talking about issues because it goes into this really dark negative space very, very quickly.

Chesko: And so I, it's just, I think people need to understand that when saying you shouldn't be speaking over the BIPOC community, it's not, if people are like, well, I, it's a free country. I should be able to love to say what I want. It's like, that's not. That's not what you were saying, right. , right?

Frazz: Yeah. And they're like, oh, but anything, what if they say, this guy's green?

Frazz: And I'm like, I literally said my con Right. My speech exists in the context of all which came before it, guys. Yeah. Right. Like I said, politic.

Chesko: Mm-Hmm. .

Regan: There's a willfulness to it though, in my opinion. Mm-Hmm. . Because you look at, and Chico, and I discuss this on the pre-show, but, uh, you look at, like, if we were at a, a, a woman's con, like a, a [00:21:00] woman's convention or women's rights.

Regan: March, whatever. And a man entered and took the mic and started talking over. I think collectively everyone could say, Whoa, dude, no, uh, like we don't need your voice to be the dominant voice here. Right. Um, even if we appreciate the support and yet like the second you put that in the context of race, people get so upset and it's bizarre to me.

Regan: Like if someone who is. It's not a person of color, like white, uh, will not acknowledge they have privilege. Like, I've talked to white people who will not acknowledge they have any privilege whatsoever. It's, it's just insane to me. Because it's like, if you went into a place where someone was racist, would you be afraid something bad would happen to you?

Regan: No, right, because you're white, because that racism would not impact you. Like, there's so many ways that one could understand, but instead of [00:22:00] listening to the people of color around them and listening to that experience, um, they're like, well, I'm not a bad person. It's like, no

Chesko: one said you were,

Frazz: we said, uh, it's so weird that my podcast lines up like this.

Frazz: But. I just told the story about the critical race theory training that I had. It was so, so wild because it was such an issue where people would not understand, like, privilege, it's not It's actually very similar to, like, the word racism. Like, people have a very big reaction to being called racist and a very big reaction to being called privileged.

Frazz: You have to understand that, like, the systems themselves are racist because they were built for white people. Like, our society functions, like you mentioned earlier, where, like, the far right especially thinks, like, oh. White, cisgender, heteronormative. That's [00:23:00] the quote unquote normal thing, and anything deviating from that is different.

Frazz: And that's even how race was constructed. Race was built to other people who were not white. And, like, you know, it's, it's, the systems were built from that. So, like, when you're being called privileged, it's that, Not that you've had an easy life. Not that you've never had struggles. It's that you are privileged in the context of benefiting from certain systems, and you are You're not getting these inherent biases necessarily thrown against you.

Frazz: Like, that is a privilege, obviously, to not have to worry about that. And people don't see that. They're, they're seeing it from a, like, defensive perspective. Whereas they could say, Oh my gosh, like, I've never thought about it that way. Let me learn. Instead of getting so mad. I don't know. And

Chesko: I think, going back to what you said, Regan, about it being a willful thing at a certain point.

Chesko: It's because you can see that when [00:24:00] you, when we talk about it from a gender perspective, then it's like, Oh yeah, that makes sense. So it's not that they're incapable of seeing that, that the difference it's, it's that they're choosing the situation where they're allowed to see it or where they're there, where, where they want to see it because where it's comfortable.

Chesko: When they can say, uh, where they don't have to acknowledge the very privilege that you were just talking about.

Regan: Yeah. And I mean, even if you ask, like, if you made that comparison again, it's like, how would you feel if men started making these exact arguments towards, you know, you as a woman, which is like, well, I, like, I didn't set this up and like, it's not my fault.

Regan: You just hate men. You know, it's like when people come with that defensive energy, like, Yeah. How does that make you feel? And yet they cannot or will not do that with their own situation. It's just bizarre to me. Even, like, the pushback with privilege, right? It's like, that's a very common word. You know, it's not like a crazy word.

Regan: It's just [00:25:00] saying, like, you have privileges. And like, again, there's a degree of privilege. Like, okay, I, like, I'm, uh, I'm a lesbian. I'm gay, right? But I don't look gay to most people. I am definitely straight passing. So, even though there are a lot of things that I deal with on a day to day basis because I'm gay, Uh, there are a lot of things I don't.

Regan: Because people don't assume that about me. So, I am not at risk for certain things. Like, I am not going to eat. Probably have someone approach me or harass me in public because I'm gay because they don't assume I am and so even within like okay Well, I don't have as much privilege as you know a straight person necessarily, but even in my own community I have more privilege and there's so many layers to privilege that to just deny it just blanket like no I don't have that is so insane to me, particularly when like, you're not, you know, it's not you are, you live a life of the most privilege ever.

Regan: You live a life of ease. There's never any problems like that's not what privileged means. And, uh, yeah, I think people are [00:26:00] just unwilling to look at these, these aspects without taking it as some huge insult that they have to defend rather than take a second to listen.

Frazz: Yeah, and there was a lot of conversation around like on on Twitter specifically like people saying it was a Segregated event and that we're bringing back segregation quote unquote and there's like a inherent misunderstanding of what an affinity group is and for affinity groups, it's like Somebody it's a group of people coming together with shared identity to talk pretty candidly and it was actually open to everyone like there are plenty of men and people of color who were there.

Frazz: On the call, just like listening and watching, but the audience was people that were white women getting involved in politics. And it's supposed to be kind of a safe space, which I know is [00:27:00] like, the right loves to be like, You're safe spaces, you're such snowflakes. No, but like, if, if you're In an affinity group, you can talk pretty candidly, like, about things like race, whereas if you put white women in a group with people of color or black women, they could say something that could be harmful, so it's like a way to mitigate harm, where it can be like, I am talking directly to you about this, and Feel free to talk back to me, but we're not going to be talking over, speaking for, or like making assumptions about somebody else's experience that we just don't have.

Frazz: If that makes sense. Right. It's not like, you can't come unless you're white. Like that is so far from what it is, but people who don't listen to the event or didn't see the event, they're not going to understand that. Yeah,

Chesko: it wasn't a whites only space. It was, which is a very big difference. Uh, but in the, and it goes back to [00:28:00] people that are willfully misinterpreting it to spread bad information because they don't like that the end goal is something that's going to, you know, Uh, fight against the causes they care about, right, which is the terrible stuff, which is the very stuff they're pretending to care about is literally the point of, uh, why, why that meeting existed, why people were talking about different things.

Regan: And even just the fact of like, it was supposed to be a safe space. Space, quote unquote, uh, and you know, someone making fun of that idea, but it's like, but guess what? It wasn't because clearly someone within there ripped it and put it somewhere else. And so like you say, like, there's an argument against safe spaces, but it's like, even when we try to create a safe space, it's not one because people infiltrate it.

Regan: Like it shows the very reason why we need safe spaces because people did take what you said. And. Take away all context and use it to harass you. That's the thing is it's like there's so much Rhetoric around like [00:29:00] snowflake and like sensitive and all these things, but it's like, and yet, how often do people simply state fact and speak up and then get met with horrible, like, harassment and violence, threats of violence, I mean, go back to when you were just posting a silly video about nail polish.

Regan: And a man is, is literally harassing you and making threats and, and, you know, knows where you live and is making calls. It's like, there is need for protection and in this case, hopefully, like, people of color would be protected from Conversations that could be harmful that need to be corrected and, you know, trying to, to help make things better for everyone.

Chesko: And I want to get back to what you were saying too, but the, it comes to using your privilege, right, as a, as a male voice that specifically talks about like anti misogyny, right? And what I, one of the ways that. I try to use my own privilege as a man in a space about misogyny and about gender based [00:30:00] issues and gender based violence is the fact that I don't get the stuff that's happened to you, stuff that's happened to Reagan, stuff that's happened to any other woman that makes content in the spaces about this, the, the comment sections, the DMs, the phone calls in your instance are very, very different than Then the kind of feedback that I get right men don't try to scare me or intimidate me.

Chesko: They try to Emasculate me, right? Oh, they try to come after my my who I am Oh, you're not a big tough guy But they don't try to they don't do the same ways that they treat women in that space And that's why it's important for people of privilege to speak out on the on different issues regardless of what that privilege is Because you're treated differently than the people that are at the, you know, being harmed the most.

Frazz: Yes. And I was so, I wasn't surprised, I guess I should say, but like a couple of days after the white women call, there was a white men call, they were still after my ass [00:31:00] after that call. I was like, wait, wait a second. What about

Chesko: those dudes?

Frazz: Put their speeches on Twitter. They didn't. They did not. And somebody was like, no, they are, you know, they're getting theirs on Twitter too.

Frazz: And I was like, then why the frick am I still trending? Why is Fox News playing my shit over the weekend? Because they're still going after my hack. And I'm just like, this is why people do not speak up. But this is also why I'm continuing to speak up and I'm not going to shut up. Every news outlet has been like, are you, are you going to switch your content?

Frazz: Are you done now? I'm No, like I said, I knew that Fox News was going to get me, eventually, you know, I knew this was a possibility, I knew it would probably happen. But this is literally why I make the content I do, because like you said, like, I know that I have privilege and I can speak up, and I'm sick and tired of seeing my friends getting hurt.

Frazz: Like, my black friends post the same thing I get, and they get worse death threats than me. [00:32:00] They post things Even, like, not as, um, outspoken as me, and they have people trying to ruin their lives, and I'm sick of it, and I'm not gonna sit down and be like, Well, I got, I got mine, so I'm not gonna do it anymore.

Frazz: No, like, this has always been the point, like, These people, I also don't respect their opinions because they're bigots, so I don't care.

Chesko: Right, and that's their goal too, right? What are they trying? They're trying to get you to stop talking about it, and they're trying to scare you out of talking about it because they don't want to see change, right?

Chesko: That's, that's the whole idea. They want it to stay the same. They want the same power structures to remain in place so that they can keep doing the same things they're doing.

Frazz: But it benefits

Regan: them.

Chesko: Mm hmm.

Regan: Yeah. No, that's insane. It's so insane to me because like I just don't understand How they get to that point like Mike like my content for example, I don't ever say anything like Necessarily like aggressive or mean I talk about toxic men Chesco can tell you I'm constantly saying [00:33:00] toxic men You know, like trying to jump the, you know, make sure I'm not all, not all men, you know, like, but literally I, and I am talking about toxic men, right?

Regan: I'm not talking about all men. And I swear to God, I have gotten like, I have had more than once a stranger on the internet DM me about sexually assaulting me. Yes! Because I did what? I'm not even talking, I literally, I'm not even like, and that's not even aimed at anyone in particular, you know what I mean?

Regan: Like, I'm just talking about, in general, toxic behaviors of men, and to have somebody then say, I'm going to sexually assault you, obviously not that word, but, uh, because of that is so insane.

Frazz: That's what they go for first. Yeah, are you what I cannot even imagine sitting at home or wherever and like leaving that kind of threat to someone Right never even entered my brain space and people have said horrible things that I've disagreed with on the internet obviously, but like We should get shit like that [00:34:00] It's just

Regan: horrible.

Regan: I mean, they're definitely big men when they're behind the internet. And like, they are always shocked if they have repercussions. Especially, you know how you talked about the company pages? There's been so many instances, like, I, I talked to Jessica about this, this one guy just went on this rant with me the other day and was like, said I don't, like, he random, he was like attacking me and saying, oh, women are all cowards, and I was like, what?

Regan: Then he was telling me he was essayed, he thinks he talked to his girlfriend and they looked it up. And, you know, technically it could be considered essay what happened to him recently. And he was threatened with an ax and like this bizarre turn of events. I was like, okay. And like, then I said, Well, if he's like, but you don't care about that.

Regan: I'm like, well, if you were a victim of essay, like I care about all victims, regardless of gender. And he's like, I'm not a victim. I'm like, Oh my God. But I have whiplash. I know. I'm like, I don't know what you want. But when I looked at it, it was, he has like a martial arts studio and [00:35:00] there's a video of him, like this little girl going, like, I don't, uh, I don't want to do it.

Regan: And walking off and him carrying her by the leg back in. And it was his business page. So had I wanted to, you know, Which I chose not to do, uh, he didn't threaten me, um, but I could have easily done something. And there was like that, um, what was that one? It was like paper, did you ever see the paper parchment one?

Regan: Where he was like, you're just, uh, uh, basically there's this content creator who kind of did lifestyle stuff and on his page, business page, he was insulting her and calling something like, um, you're entitled and you're just, uh, you get whatever you want. And like she messaged the company cause she thought it was some intern started, you know?

Regan: And, uh, she was like, Hey, somebody's on your, uh, account and you know, she should take care of that. And he's like, no, it's me. The head of this company. It was him personally. I remember this Yeah, and he just he went on and on and then he was like said something to the effect This isn't a direct quote [00:36:00] while it was going on like i'm just sipping my ties.

Regan: Like I love the engagement And then eventually he got some real comeuppance which was like bad reviews and people like responding to his Like harassment of this girl in my opinion And, uh, then he completely changed his tune and was like, My business is suffering and the people who work for me are suffering.

Regan: And, you know, was very upset. And it's like, what do you think's going to happen when you threaten women online, when you insult and degrade women online from your perspective? literal business account and yet they are shocked.

Chesko: Was it on Facebook that he did it?

Regan: He did it. No, this was on Tik TOK. And I think multiple, I think it was all over the place.

Chesko: Right. Cause Facebook in general. And I know, uh, Fraz, you said this a second ago. It's so wild to me. How, how little worry they have about posting these horrific public things with their face. Face and legal name attached to it. Their

Regan: families, their lives, [00:37:00] like you can go back and see who they're married to, who their kids are.

Chesko: I don't know if you've seen on, but I'll, I often will respond to them and post screenshots on my, uh, as different posts. Uh, it's some, I have, I have a lot of fun with it now. It's me. It's took the sting out of a lot of the really, the mean ones, because now I'm like, Ooh, how do I make this person? I know.

Chesko: It's so

Frazz: fun.

Chesko: That's the one time they'll DM me, but hey, I don't appreciate you posting my comment online. I'd appreciate it. You need to take that down or I'll take legal action. I'm like, you posted it publicly. That was a public thing. Yeah. Did you not say this? So I've never taken them down, but they get mad.

Chesko: They've gotten mad at me.

Regan: I bet like usually when I post about it, I block people's names on like the other podcasts I do. I never do people's names. So like I kind of lent that grace to Tik Tok as well. And I'm at the point where like, I'm going to start posting your names. Like you guys say crazy shit to me.

Regan: And like, you think that it's okay. And like, I, I saw an interesting comment online. Um, somebody did something [00:38:00] super stupid. Stupid. I mean it was racist. It wasn't stupid. Do you know, did you guys, Brooke Schofield and her tweets? Yes, oh my god. Had some incredibly racist tweets and um, those came back up as they should.

Regan: And someone made the comment, because everyone's like, how could you not delete those? Uh, which is a terrible Conversation in itself, but basically there was the comment made of like what twitter is to us now Tik tok will be in the future So all those shitty tweets you made forever ago what we're looking at now in the future people will be reflecting on your tik tok comments And all the shitty things you post with total disregard for anybody that you're speaking to And like, I believe that to be true because some of the craziest things are said on TikTok videos that are linked easily back to the people who said them.

Chesko: I will admit even myself, and this is stuff I still agree with, but there's stuff I probably shouldn't have written online during the pandemic when I was just so, like, chronically online and arguing with people about, like, [00:39:00] Everything. And like these failed Facebook groups. And even though I was, I was all into that, just yelling at, I was so mad at everybody.

Frazz: I love yelling at

Chesko: people. Yeah.

Regan: I think though, like yours, no matter how mad you are, they would probably align with your viewpoint. Yeah,

Chesko: no, there's nothing I've, I've never said anything that's going to get me canceled, but

Regan: I think it's people who try to hide aspects of themselves and then let themselves lose.

Regan: Those are the things that, that I think turn around and haunt people. Absolutely.

Chesko: And then they move to Fox news and then they get a show and then they.

Regan: Yeah. Yeah. And then they move away because the leopards eat your face. Yes, they do. They always do.

Chesko: I'm looking at what's the leopards eat your face. Uh, is that Francesca, Francesca,

Regan: she and she pulled it from an, uh, there was a, uh, someone else was the original where she made the song out of it.

Regan: It was like, I think it was like a meme that was like, oh my God, in the leopards eat your face [00:40:00] parties, the leopards ate my face.

Chesko: But she, uh, she's talked about recently about how, and this goes back to privilege as, as a speaker that her sound will go viral for other people, but she keeps getting content strikes, uh, for different things for her own work.

Chesko: for her own sound for her own stuff that she's saying. And this, you hear this constantly, um, especially from, from black creators, uh, where their stuff, it gets just completely, it'll go to these, these, uh, usually spread to like the link it's shared to like some Facebook group or some discord or somewhere.

Chesko: And then they just get bombed with, uh, people reporting them and going after that. Well, once again, Someone that looks like me has not had to deal with that has not as it might say verbatim the exact same thing and does not have to deal with it at all. And there's but there's it's easier to not talk about these issues, right?

Chesko: It'd be much easier. To not speak out against these terrible dudes [00:41:00] online, it'd be much easier to just let all these hate, uh, you know, videos just go on and live your life. But if you, and so when you're not speaking out against it, once again, it comes down to you're making a choice that that, that comfort is more important than, uh, actually seeing that change happen.

Chesko: And you shouldn't have to deal, though, with the FBI, having to get the FBI for speaking about those things.

Regan: And their lack of taking it seriously, like, there you go again with the privilege, these men literally can say whatever they want to you online. And unless, like, it's the same thing in like, the, like, real world offline, where like, I mean, I had a stalker one time, and I kept telling him, he was stalking me, and they're like, well, we really can't step in until he, like, Actually physically does something to you and I was like I don't want to wait until he physically does something to me That's crazy that you just said that like I have to wait till he hits me or assaults me like what and Like it's this it's like oh, well Yeah, he can just kind of say he wants to harm you and be harassing you and like [00:42:00] sorry about that Can't really do anything like I can't imagine how that felt

Chesko: Can I ask you, Ariel, as having gone through this big national thing now, do you have advice or something that you could, would like to share for like somebody else that maybe is going to happen to them in the future that you either would have done differently or that you've learned that, you know, Do you think people, like, how should someone react when this happens, or do you, do you not know, or?

Frazz: I mean, I think document everything. And then, like, if there's anybody who goes through this that wants to DM me, you can always ask me. I have, like, people that I can refer to you. But, like, it's not a one size fits all thing, truly. Like, it's, it's, I wish that it was. But even people who have gone through this before, I think the biggest, you know, thing that was helpful to me was just people supporting me and being like, Hey, are you okay?

Frazz: You know, and um, that's kind of what I would say. Reach out to people that you know have gone through it and they'll be [00:43:00] there for you. Because law enforcement is not always gonna be there for you. Meta is not always gonna do anything. TikTok is not always gonna step in. You know, but There are, there are ways that when I think when we stick together and are in community with each other, it can really be the thing that makes a difference in being eaten alive on the internet.

Chesko: The fact that it started off of just the nail polish video. Right.

Frazz: I really could not

Regan: believe that. What was he so, what, what, like, did he, what was he so mad about? My tone of voice.

Frazz: That I'm being condescending and I sound annoying. Because they, they really for some reason watch those videos and think they're like a how to versus like a skit.

Frazz: And I'm like, I don't understand. Your tone of, that was, it was tone

Regan: policing, like literally your tone of voice. Literally. I get yelled at, how many times have I gotten yelled at, Chesco knows, about my voice. I, we just did a YouTube video where both of us, Chesco and I, are aligned in said video about what we were talking [00:44:00] about.

Regan: And they called me, uh, we were, it was a on the street interview, this is our last episode. And they called me, like, this laughing, cackling hyena, and, like, said all this shit about my voice and how harsh I sound and how, it was, I thought this might be good, but it, it was terrible. And, but only attacking me.

Regan: And, like, Chesca, we were saying literally the same things. And I'm like, How interesting is it that you, despite us saying literally the same things, I'm the one that you are just absolutely destroying. Mm

Frazz: hmm. I don't know how people don't see it in themselves. Like, that's the thing. Like, I know part of it is people are being obtuse, but I also think there's like this blind spot that people have where they like literally cannot see that aspect of their own, like, biases.

Frazz: Right. It's just Really frustrating because like obviously we all have biases that we have to like work through like that's part of being a human But I [00:45:00] think like when people have pointed them out to me, I'm like, oh shit. I need to like Yeah, like let me look inward and fix that and I think so Lashing out just seems so opposite of what a reaction, a reaction that I would have.

Frazz: I don't know, like I can't wrap my mind around it. I

Regan: think there's just like this idea like, Oh, this feels bad, so I'm gonna do something bad. And it's like, yeah, it does feel bad. It never feels good to get called out. It never feels good to realize you may have done something harmful or hurtful or biased.

Regan: It's not supposed to feel good. to get called out. It's supposed to wake you up. It's supposed to encourage you to learn and grow and change and make amends for what you've done and move forward in a more enlightened way. And so it's like, yeah, of course it feels bad. It's not gonna feel good. That doesn't mean you have the right to do something harmful.

Regan: Like even in like tone policing, it's like if someone has a tone that you [00:46:00] don't like, why do you think you have authority over their tone? Why do you think you have the right to tell them how to speak? That's crazy. And if you do feel that way, you need to dig deep as to why you think that's okay. Like the fact that you were harassed to that degree simply because he didn't like the way you were talking to him.

Regan: Like what, what privilege do you have that you think Not liking the way someone sounds gives you the right to harass, stalk, uh, whatever you want to call what he did. It, that's, that's insane to me. And then I'm sure he would not think he has privilege.

Chesko: And we talked about this, uh, on a previous episode, so I won't belabor it too much, but, uh, this American life did a whole, uh, episode on, uh, vocal fry.

Chesko: Specifically and they talked about how because I work last is famous for his vocal fry. I have a vocal fry No one has ever commented on my videos about my vocal fry, but every single time they have and people always say oh Well, it's not vocal fry It's just when they have these [00:47:00] valley girls and that do these voice like the Kardashians and like no no On this American life, every single time they have a woman reporter has even the hint of a vocal fry, they will get hundreds, they said, of calls and emails every single time complaining about it simply because they did not like voice of the woman presenting the information, even though it's the exact same, even though the host himself has the exact same type of speaking voice.

Frazz: Yeah. I've gotten it for up speak because at the end of my words, like I'll, I'll go up and they just. It's very interesting. The tone of voice should not make you murderous, guys.

Chesko: As a public speaking instructor, that's one of those things I've had to, like, one of the things I'm working on right now, and this goes against another thing that gets people angry, is I, um, there's a lot of work on decolonizing the public speaking classroom.

Chesko: Because what we look at as the best speakers are usually people that look like me, are able bodied, straight, white men. [00:48:00] Right. And that, those are the, who we look at as, as the only best way to speak about different things. And anytime we talk about decalling that, or that that's not necessarily perfect, people get really angry.

Chesko: Like, what do you mean? That is perfect, though. It's the same reason why we think of certain accents as being pleasing to the ears. It's because we've been trained to hear certain accents as pleasing, and trained to hear other ones as less than, or as, uh, something that is not pleasing.

Frazz: Yeah, that's an important thing to call out.

Frazz: I'm glad you teach that.

Chesko: I've had to. Really work hard at unlearning so much because, you know, I spent my career coaching speech and debate and learning about what is the proper way of speaking and the way I teach them in my classrooms, though, I do teach them. I was like, there are certain ways of speaking that if you don't perform it, you will.

Chesko: Get punished for it in certain ways that I talk about kind of structural inequality and things like that. But then I come back to that doesn't mean you're a bad speaker, though. It just means other people have been taught to look for [00:49:00] certain things. You know, eye contact is someone who is autistic or blind.

Chesko: Possibly autistic, I should say, uh, until I get my diagnosis. I don't want to take up that space. Um, but the, uh, you know, the eye contact is something that I have struggled with, and, but I've learned to mask now in real life where I know how to perform eye contact correctly. It doesn't, why should everyone have to do that though?

Chesko: It doesn't mean all of a sudden make you a better speaker because of those certain things.

Regan: Yeah. I also think that like, If you're more concerned with the way something sounds versus the content of what's being spoken, then you have a problem.

Frazz: Yeah, and why are people defending the unseen person I'm talking to in my videos and shitting all over me?

Frazz: I'm like, I know what they said. They're not real. I wrote the skit. It's fake.

Regan: Hello? Yeah. I've said this so many times. The way that men will defend other men who are even imaginary. [00:50:00] It's not. I've had so many skits. I'm like, it's not real. Or it's like me in drag is the other person. Like, that is also me.

Chesko: My most common thing as a man on the Internet is why am I not critiquing women more?

Chesko: Why are you, why are you only focusing on men? Uh, and I was like, you know, if you want to see men critiquing women, go on the entirety of the Internet. Yeah. Right. Go to the comment section of any single woman that's making nonsense. You're going to see a lot of it. I don't need to add another channel doing what is already an absurd amount that goes online.

Frazz: Yes. Somebody this morning actually commented that on my latest gentle parenting video. Why are you always hating on men? And I said, I alternate. aunt and uncle every episode and somebody else was like Dude, just watch one other video before you leave a comment like this just one like the one before this And I said only one makes everybody pissed guess which one it [00:51:00] is

Chesko: right?

Chesko: Yeah

Regan: Uh, they'll comment before they even watch the full video i've had to happen so many times They'll say something and they're like, oh just watch the whole thing I'm, like, why would you comment before you've watched it? Like you don't even know what i'm gonna say Oh, yeah, I It's so bizarre, it's so, it's very, it's very interesting, but again it's like, I think it's just people who think they have the authority to critique.

Regan: other people and that they should choose how they present or how they sound. And um, that is just simply not the case. You don't have the right to, especially if it's somebody talking about something they've been through. Like, you don't get to choose how someone expresses their pain, period. You do not get to tone police someone's pain.

Regan: It's like, if you care more about the way they actual, like, what caused the pain in the first place, there's your problem.

Frazz: Yes, and that's really what I was saying in my speech. And that was, I went on to say so many other things in my speech. Like, I just, like, people really stopped listening after [00:52:00] they got offended.

Frazz: And I think that's very common in our country right now. Like, that's a very common thing where it's like, um, You know, people don't want to hear things. It doesn't align with what they already believe. So it's really, it's tough because I know people on both sides do that. Like, I know I do that. Like, it's, it's a human thing to feel defensive, but I think that we really need to use context.

Frazz: We really need to look at the broader context of what we're getting offended by before we comment and send death threats. Especially.

Regan: Just those in particular. There's a, there's, there's a difference between someone spewing hate at you and someone saying something that you don't agree with. And I think that's a big thing is like, if you're being hateful, like hateful towards a group, being, being hateful towards someone or about something like people get offended when they hear hateful stuff and don't want to listen because like, Oh, that's just blatantly a [00:53:00] hateful, unkind, like statement to make.

Regan: That's a prejudice. There's prejudicial thing that you just said, um, versus like, Oh, I don't, I feel like this might be critiquing me. So I don't want to listen. Like those are two separate things. If you feel like you're being critiqued, sometimes it's important to listen up to that because maybe there's some way that you can grow.

Regan: And so it's like, it's just interesting that there's always like this, like we've said this a couple of times, like the snowflake argument. And yet often when, People are critiqued at all. They're like, Oh, no, my death threat. My

Chesko: favorite thing is they don't understand the difference between being open to critique and not being open to harassment, right?

Chesko: I am completely okay with disagreeing with, Oh, actually, uh, what you said right there was problematic. Tell me, tell me those sorts of things. Yeah. I love

Frazz: when they call it feedback. When they just said they're going to murder my entire family and then I get upset and they're like, I'll just

Chesko: let you know.

Frazz: Constructive criticism. That I will murder

Regan: [00:54:00] everyone. You're like, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Frazz: So constructive. So much.

Regan: Very helpful. Yes, if that's what happens when you disagree with someone, you need to get help. If that is your I'm disagreeing with you statement. Something's wrong. You need to get, like, genuinely, you need to get mental help.

Regan: Like, that is not how you disagree. Like, you can't just make threats. Because you disagree with a stranger on the internet. Like that's, and that they take that so lightly. They just think like, Oh, that's no big deal. It's like, no, that's a real

Frazz: person that you just threatened. Like period. I know we're not like avatars.

Frazz: We're not cartoons. We're not characters. We're real people. And so many of us didn't even necessarily intend to get quote unquote a following. And I was just talking about this with my husband where it's like, we have so much visibility that. We, but we don't have the same kind of resources that like a celebrity might have, like, we don't have a team to answer our stuff.

Frazz: We don't have a security detail. We don't have a PR [00:55:00] person, you know, like, we don't, we're just people behind the screen. I think very, very few people have an actual assistant that helps them, you know, it's just a one person show. So it's like when you are threatening somebody or leaving those types of things, chances are we see it.

Frazz: Even if it's just a quick scroll by, we see it.

Chesko: I always love, I do get those messages. Like, I don't know if this is your team that's going to see this or if you're actually, I'm like, uh, team, I got this. Yeah.

Frazz: Like when people email me about my merch, they're always so shocked that I just responded. I'm like, well, this is.

Frazz: This is my email address.

Frazz: Yeah.

Chesko: Yeah. I, I lucked out and I say lucked out in the sense that, so I don't have my real name online anywhere, um, which is, I think has benefited me to a fair amount on this, but, and the only reason I did it was because I didn't want my students to randomly, if there's a search for like, to Google my name and then, you know, I have my pages pop [00:56:00] up.

Chesko: And so those literally, it was just more of like a, I'll just do this just to keep it separate from work. And it's, and because like you said, I didn't plan on having a giant following. And now that I do, I'm like, Oh God, I look, I really lucked out in that regard that people have to work to find my contact information now.

Chesko: Um, And there were sort of things that I was whenever I do talk to you, like new creators and like consider using an alias, uh, a pen name for your stuff because you just never know.

Frazz: Yeah. And I think my biggest thing was I should have always stayed frazzled. I should have never, but I remember the New York times in 2020 was like, you can either be in this article or.

Frazz: Give us your name. And I was like, I'll just give it. It doesn't matter. And then when I got married, I like concealed my married name, but it's, it's, it's still, they still found me. So I, that is really good advice. And the other piece of advice, going back to the other question you asked me, I think if you even have a little bit of a following used like [00:57:00] delete me or something,

Chesko: delete,

Frazz: go ahead and like pay for the thing to get your personal information taken off of the internet as much as humanly possible.

Frazz: Maybe even if you use an alias. Like, just do it. And maybe delete your old tweets.

Chesko: Yeah. One thing I also do is I make sure in all of my, any new channel I go into is I have the keywords that you can filter out automatically. And I have like my phone number, my address, my name, uh, my family members names. I have all of that stuff immediately filtered so that they can't, the comments don't post.

Chesko: It's sad though, that we have to do that. It's like none of us are saying any, it's crazy. Especially, honestly, the three of our content, nobody's saying anything on our pages that is like so controversial and so absurd that you should have to worry about the safety of your family. But that's what the, the internet is right now.

Chesko: That's the world we're living in right now. And that's [00:58:00] a really positive way to get to the ending part of our show.

Regan: Oh, I know. Yeah, but as much as there's bad stuff and bad people, there's also amazing people and like people I never would have been able to connect with people who are like minded people who want to make positive change and like, you know, I get a lot of Scary DMs, but I also get like a lot of emails and it's weird.

Regan: I feel like emails are nice and DMs are mean, but I mean, I get a lot of messages of like change that have happened or people growing or people feeling validated. And the internet is a crazy place, but at the end of the day, as long as you're speaking to your actual beliefs and. beliefs that are not harming people and are not like, you know, bad.

Regan: Uh, I feel like if you can stand by what you say, like it can be positive as well. Um, you just, I think you just need to be really careful about like what you, how you speak about things and like staying in your lane, [00:59:00] uh, not speaking for other people as much as you can.

Frazz: The only way I really got through this past Like half a month is because I have met so many wonderful people and like it's people who have gone through this before and have just reached out to support me.

Frazz: And like, it means the world to me because you're, you know, we're, we're in this together. And I think I'm friends with a lot of like minded people that put out really important and educational content. And I've learned so much from what they've talked about. And you know, it really is true what they say, you build your for you page brick by brick.

Frazz: And I am very grateful that mine has like, Bit educational for me. And. made me the friends that I have on the internet. Cause if you're my mutual, you really are my friend.

Chesko: My wife always makes fun of me cause I don't have a lot of real life friends. Uh, because I'm very, I don't know. I like a lot of people, but I don't.

Chesko: Like a lot of people, but the internet, like special social media [01:00:00] has given me access to find to kind of pick and choose my people that I'm like, Oh, there's my new. I like you. If I wish you were close. None of them are close by. I live in LA. I would be closer to more people than I should be. But. Finding people and finding your people and finding people that you actually it's harder than I've realized I think especially as an adult of being able to find people That you can actually bond with and want to be friends with Um, because you know, it's not like we're in a classroom together anymore It's not like we're especially, you know, i'm working online.

Chesko: You said you're working, you know, you're working from home It's not like I have a lunch room or a coffee break that I can go and interact with people and somewhere But We're looking for these people online and the benefits do outweigh the negatives, but I do think there is a timeline on how long I will continue doing it at the level that I'm doing it.

Frazz: A hundred percent. Fair.

Chesko: All right. Well, Ms. Frazzled, where can people find you on the internet? X?

Frazz: Fox News. You can find me on Fox News, Jesse Waters. You can also find [01:01:00] me on Ben Shapiro's podcast, Elon Musk's timeline. I'm just kidding. Sorry. I'm

Regan: so insane. I cannot, like literally Elon Musk himself is like, you in particular.

Regan: I

Frazz: know. Yeah, you can find me on any platform as mrs. frazzled. That's I or you can listen to my podcast teacher quit talk every week anywhere you get your podcasts. And that's me. Perfect.

Regan: I love it. I will. Thank you so much for joining us today. Make sure to check out her content and thank you to everyone who's listening and we will catch you next week.

Chesko: And I love you. If I don't say I love you, our followers get mad.

Regan: Oh my God. I love you too. Everyone. Okay. Also. I love everyone. Also. Now the peer pressure, peer pressure. All right. Bye.