Flashdance - Redux (1983)

Aug 11, 05:59 AM

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Janna, Jackie, and Kara put Dave on trial for excessive horniness as they attempt to prove in court that Flashdance is, in fact, a terrible film and that Dave should be sentenced to life in Horny Jail.

All rise! The Court of Horny Affairs is now in session. The Honorable Judge Janna presiding. The defendant, one David Snider, has been accused of excessive horniness while discussing the film Flashdance on the podcast known as “Apocalypse Video”. The defendant has been made aware of his rights and will face Flashdance-style water dropping if found guilty.

The prosecutors in this case are Kara and Jackie and have informed the court that they have more than enough evidence to send Dave away to Horny Jail for a very long time.

The defendant has been sworn in. Let the trial begin…

Pieces of evidence in this taped court session include Boner-Goggles, and how they can obscure one’s perspective on an otherwise terrible film; the character of Nick is shown to be a creepy stalker and has no business dating his employees; and finally, Mawby's Bar, as depicted in the film Flashdance, should by all accounts not exist, as it’s divey interior and skeezy clientele would have no interest in the performance art-style dance numbers taking place on stage.

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And thus ends the case of the People v. Dave/Flashdance. Court is adjourned.