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0:00:18 - Albertine Badio Hey y'all, welcome, and welcome back to the podcast, where we are who we say we are, and that is real dope and redeemed. I am your host, albertine, and today we are talking about friendships and the company we keep. So this episode was inspired by the Bible verse that says Bad company corrupts good character, and that is 1st Corinthians 1533. It's towards the end of the year and that usually means that the seasons are changing, the calendar is about to flip over, another year is about to start and people are doing some cleaning. We're taking inventory. It's something we should do regularly, but I feel like around this time of the year, people tend to be usually on the same accord with it and more intentional and, you know, just doing more in depth reflection. So have you looked over your year recently? Have you recognized any patterns that you've been repeating, that have made your 2023 look like your 2022, and the changes that need to happen in order for your 2024 to not end up the same way? There are many areas we need to take inventory in, from our personal habits to fitness, eating, finance and, especially, relationships. Our environment has the biggest impact on us, and who we're spending our time with is very important. I am not one that believes that every relationship should be some type of tool, like those people who say if we're not making money together, we have nothing to talk about. I disagree. I still believe in meaningful friendships and friendships that can speak to you and reach you through tough times, and you know just those meaningful, valuable relationships. You know, I feel like those friends that can really touch your soul and nourish your soul are more valuable than a purple Chanel, even though I will take both Please and thank you.

There is a story in Luke, chapter five, where Jesus was preaching to a large crowd and a man brought his paralyzed friend to Jesus to be healed, but the crowd was so large he couldn't get through. So they actually took the paralyzed man to the roof of where Jesus was teaching and removed the tiles and lowered him down, and Jesus' response was that because of their faith he healed the man. So this man was healed because of the faith of his friends. And so we're going to go into this episode asking are you in good company? And an even better question is are you good company? We're going to do a quick ego check, because it's easy to listen to stories like this and start looking at your friends, analyzing relationships and categorizing them, which isn't a bad idea because, truth be told, most of your friends are keeping y'all in the same cycle and enabling y'all to continue in the lifestyle that God has already told you to walk away from. But we get really comfortable and it's easier maintaining stagnant relationships with stagnant people because it requires no effort. And if you're cool with that, then fine. But I mean, I was once like that too and never really having that self-awareness to say, okay, something's wrong, I'm repeating the same things. This lifestyle's getting old, just again.

If you haven't listened to that last episode, go ahead and listen to it, the one about weird Christians. Well, I talk about how sometimes we have voice and we look for different things to place to fill those voids where only Christ can and friends can be those things too. Friends can be crutches for us to just get through the day where, no, we're supposed to stride and thrive. But the point of the ego check is, throughout this episode, don't just look at your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers. Look within yourself also. Ask yourself if you are good company, because there's also something in you that is attracting certain people and is attracted to certain habits that needs to be worked on as well.

There are many passages throughout the Bible that talks about relationships and friendships and we're going to cover a few in this episode because we're just moving more intentionally. It's very difficult to be on this walk with God and getting closer to God and inviting the spirit into your life and things don't change Like literal evidence of the spirit in your life has changed and that it's going to affect your relationships. So Proverbs 22 says do not make friends with a hot tempered person. Do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways. And that's very similar to the verse that inspired this episode, which was bad company corrupts good character. So we can replace bad company or a hot tempered person with anything.

We can take it a few steps further. Don't be friends with gossipers, or else you will gossip. Don't be friends with people who lie, or else you will learn their ways. Don't be friends with people who are inconsistent, unreliable and always searching for the next thrill, because their lifestyle will become yours. But vet yourself the same way. Are you the friend they can run to for prayer? Are you the friend that can intercede on their behalf? Are you consistent? Are you dependable? Do you want the best for your friends. Do you even care about their salvation? If someone came up to you right now and said, tell me about Jesus, what would you say? Are you good company? These are things that we have to ask ourselves.

Relationship with God is such a safe space because knowing that he's all knowing and all powerful means I don't have to hide anything about myself. So a powerful prayer that I pray almost daily is God show me me. A lot of times when I'm complaining about something or a situation, I'm telling you it's like the mirror will just flip on me and it's like okay, but what are you doing in this? Or what can you learn about this? Because all I can really control is myself, right? So you have to ask yourself are you good company and why are you attracting such people? Why are you so comfortable in these spaces and what needs to be taken out of you or replaced in you for you to be a better person? And if you are, if you can honestly say that you are a good company, you are that friend. I give you a round of applause. I am proud of you because I know it takes work and it takes discipline, but also protect yourself, because people in this world are leeches and they will be attracted to your life only to drain it out of you.

I always refer to the law of gravity when it comes to relationships. It's easier to pull somebody down than it is to pull someone up, and that again aligns with the verse that that company will corrupt your good morals. Like you might have all the good intentions of, oh, I can help this person, but remember you are not Jesus. It is not your job to save anybody. We introduce them to Christ and pray for them. The Bible tells us to be equally yoked, and that's not just in marriage, it's in relationships too, because you can have all the good intentions again, and if you are not careful or you're not, even if you're not strong enough in yourself and who you are in Christ, they can easily cause you to stumble. So transparent moment. It's hard, especially when you realize you're in a completely different space than people you've been in communion with or on the same page with for a long time.

A few weeks ago I was feeling very overwhelmed, very anxious and like my peace was being tampered with. A friend of mine noticed a change in my tone and my behavior and offered for us to go to lunch and talk and God told me not to go, and it wasn't an audible voice that's like don't go. It was more of like my spirit was not at ease about going and it was truthfully me knowing that I was under spiritual attack and that this person could not help me. There was a bit of tension because she's gotten so used to being someone I could talk to for years and I know she felt shut out. But I had to be real with myself and my needs and I suggest you get real with yourself and your needs too. I didn't need a girl chatting on Margarita. I didn't need to vent. I didn't need to be told the universe would handle everything or that because of my zodiac sign and the time where the moon was. That's the reason why I was excited. I didn't need any of that. I needed covering. I needed intentional prayer. I needed Jesus. I'm so blessed that I have people who believe in the same God I do and who have intimacy with Him, because when I called my sister in a panic, she prayed a storm down and covered me when she asked me what was wrong. The words I spoke left my lips and the Holy Spirit had to have been the one translating it through the phone, because she heard and saw things that I didn't even reveal, and that is good company.

This is a beautiful example of being in a relationship with people who are also in a relationship with God. So ask yourself are you in good company? And are you good company when you pray for community to help you, prune you and nourish you in this season and the next? Pray for God to reveal you to you? Ask God to help you become somebody worthy of those relationships and to be someone who can pour into others as they pour into you. It is very tough when you feel like you're constantly the friend that is pouring into others. But if God graced you with that capacity, carry it with grace, because sometimes it's like somebody got to do it. But at the same time, you deserve nurturing relationships too, and go to your father and tell him what you need Like Lord. Thank you for gracing me with this ability to pour into others. Thank you for pouring into me, but, lord, I need my tribe. I need friends who I can turn to. I need friends who can cover me. But let your will be done, lord. Let me learn what you want me to learn in these relationships. Let me have the wisdom to take care of these people that you've placed in my life and help me to remember that, even if I feel that there is nobody that I can turn to, I have you, which is better than anyone. But, lord, you know my heart. I want community and I want that type of friendship. So tell your daddy what you need. Look for wisdom, patience and discernment.

Pray constantly so that you can cover yourself and others. Grow your prayer life. You know the Bible says at some point you got to get off the milk and get on the meat. Like you can't be doing these little. Now you let me down and sleep prayers all your life, like come on, you got to start waging war in the spirit and your prayer life should increase as you get closer to God. Just increase regularly, period. But we can talk about that in another episode. But anyway, pray constantly so that you can cover yourself and others. Make fasting a part of your lifestyle and study it. Pray to God for your appetite to change so that you will not be like the man in Proverbs that repeats the same mistakes.

The Bible says he is as foolish as the dog that returns to his vomit. It's foolishness. Like you're doing the exact same things, the same mistakes, in the same environment, around the same people, but yet you want different results. That's silly, guys. I'm sorry I played too much, but for real, like that's silly. So you say you want to get closer to God, but not only are you not reading your Bible, you have no one around you.

That is when the Bible speaks about friendships and Ecclesiastes, chapter 4. It says two are better than one because they have a good return on their labor. If one of them falls down, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. That makes sense, right. But what is the point of having friends who can't even help you up? You might as well be alone. It says pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. It's like this thing where it's like you're in a room full of people and you're still lonely, like why is no one with you? That's an issue, it's a pity. So what's the point of having friends who can't even do that? What's the point of being surrounded by people who cannot help you in the ways you need it most? Can your friends truly help you and can you help your friends up. And Some of us have a whole village behind us and don't even know it, because our trauma has turned into pride, where we can't even ask for help or we carry the weight on us so well that people think we don't need it. And so, for people who relate to that, I really do pray that God blesses us, because I'm one of them, that God blesses us with people who see through that heart exterior. And, with that being said, I also pray that God softens our heart so that we are able to receive the love and support that we need.

I Saw a post on Instagram today that was I think it was a tweet saying Get you some friends that pray for you, speak life into you, remind you of who God says you are and hold you accountable, and all of that is good, that is good advice and all of it sounds good, but can we handle it? Ask God for the ability to handle it too, because Proverbs 27 says better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. If your friends don't check you, hold you accountable or To a higher standard, but instead enable you. They're not your friends. They hate you. They are your enemies. A true friend wants better for you. Even if that hurts your feelings a little bit, you'll be okay. But we're a part of a spoiled and sensitive generation who wants to be surrounded by people who tell us what we want to hear and accepts us for who we are. When who we are may very well be crap like it's not good enough, and then we wonder why our lives are like that. So yeah, check your circle.

A wise man once told me if you can't change the people around you, change the people around you. Sometimes you really do just have to remove yourself and trust that God will bring your tribe or Take you to them. It may just be the environment you know. So the last thing I want to add so this episode is a warning as Christians anybody in your life that is not pushing you towards Christ is a witch. That person is of the enemy. Know that every single person in your life has an assignment, whether they know it or not, and you better start caring who the people around you are listening to.

Stop taking advice from people who do not obey God, because that means they are being led astray and they will lead you astray. The devil is smart and we use anybody and anything to attack you and your friends. Don't have to Address you at a birthday party for them to be an enemy. Okay, let's, let's focus on bigger things, please. But all right, that's all I have for this episode. Subscribe to our YouTube, follow us on Instagram and tick tock like, share and show some love at real dope underscore redeemed. Leave some feedback, rate and review the podcast. Thank you so much for your support. God bless for real.

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