: Welcome to Aggressive Life. This July we've been sharing some of the live talks I've done over the past year, talks that weren't supposed to be in Aggressive Life, but I thought, oh man, let's bring them back for everybody. And so I've saved my favorite for last. The last few months I've been workshopping some new content in smaller settings. For now, I'm calling it the... the six primal identities, or these are the things that are in your primal DNA. So I've been marinating my mind on it, thinking about it, and I finally started bringing these things out in the light and share them with folks. These are six identities that are written on your spiritual DNA. These are things that you have. You have all these things. This isn't something that some of us have and some of us don't have. This isn't like the enneagram, where some of us are an eight and some of us are three. The rest of us are losers. No, no. These are things, six things, that all of us are. And when you recognize that this is what you are, and you just have to dust it off and act on it, it really gives you the ability to get done what you need to get done. They are the backbone, the primal backbone, of everything that enables life to work. And if you look at your life and something isn't working, I'll about guarantee you it's because you're not resting on this identity. If you look at your life and you're killing it, I'll guarantee you you've learned how to master one or more of these identities. This fall, I'm going to teach this content for a wider audience. But I wanted to just share it and sneak peek at here first. It was recorded with a couple dudes sitting around a campfire. Someone pulled out their iPhone and just started playing it. The audio quality. isn't the best, but I think that it's important, and it's raw and unfiltered, and that's why I'm giving it to you, the Aggressive Life audience. So pull up a camp chair, scoot up the fire, grab your favorite beverage. I know there's something here to push you forward right now. Let's go. Research says when you want to take up a new discipline, you have to pin it to a, I'm using my words now, a preferred identity that you have. So. If you want to get in shape, you have to convince yourself, I am an athlete. That's what I do. I'm an athlete. So of course, I run. Or I'm an outdoorsman. I need to be fit when I'm outdoors, lift up logs and stuff like that. So therefore, yes, I do pushups because that's what I do. I need to be physically capable outside. I am a MMA fighter. That's what I am. Because I'm an MMA fighter, I am great at pushups and pull ups. I just do it because that's part of my identity. If you can tap something you want to who you are, not who you aspire to be, you are deep down inside and makes the discipline that much easier. So all these six things, the problems you have in your life, I promise you right now, I know all of us have problems. Every promise you have in your life, or every problem you have in your life is pinned to you not understanding that you are one of these six things. You are all of these things. And I might even say one, you go like, that's not who I am. Well, it might not be how you're acting right now. But because you have the Spirit of God in you, this is who God is. how God has made you. One is this. One is a creator. God is a creator. He's created heavens and earth, and he's still creating. He's creating multiple universes right now. Men are creators. David was a creator. David, when he wants to build the temple and he brings plans, like, hey, let us build this temple, and they're saying, uh. No, God says, no, you're a warrior. I don't want you to build a temple. Let's see someone else to do that. But David can't help himself because he's a creator. He wants to design the temple. He's a poet. He's writing poem. He was creating music. He was playing the flute and the harp for Saul when Saul was besieged with either evil spirits, combination of evil spirits or mental disease. And he was soothing because he was creating. All of us are creators. That's part of your identity. It's part of why we people driving in here, we're checking out the trucks. What kind of tension you have. Or if we don't even have that, we're going, Ooh, I wish I had that. It's the creative thing of men. We're like, Oh, I like to build a rig like that. I like to set up my campsite. Right. I like to create that. So it was great through painting. Some must create through music. So let's create through building houses, talk with a buddy, Jake today. He's like doing decks. Like he's doing decks, he's got business with decks. Every time he creates a deck, he's tapping into his identity of being a creator. You are a creator. You might say, I'm not a creative type. Well, you might not be a Hollywood type that creates screenplays or paints with your fingers and sells it for thousands of dollars, but you are a creator. That's who you are. It's one of your core identities. And when a man doesn't believe he's here to create things, what he does is he only consumes things. He just takes, takes. He borrows and doesn't return, doesn't add value. He just takes, takes. Men are meant to create, you're meant to create. We see this David, Jesus, obviously God the Father. The initial story in David's life, I'm gonna read for you right now. Samuel is the high prophet, anointed Saul as king, Saul has disqualified himself. And now Samuel's on the hunt to find the next king. And God tells him, go to Jesse's place, son of Jesse, go to Jesse's place, next king is there. Samuel shows up all excited. Let me just read it for us here. Samuel consecrated Jesse and his sons, and he invited them to the sacrifice. And when they came, he looked at Eliab and thought, surely the Lord's anointed is before him, this is him. But the Lord said to Samuel, do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. The Lord sees not as man sees. Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. Saul was the tallest man in Israel, head taller than everybody else. And so, Sammy just figured it's the same old, same old. Let's find the most impressed one. Here's the oldest one. Bigger than the other one, he's it. And God said, no, we already did that once. No, no, no. God said, it's the problem with you people. You keep looking at the outward appearance. I don't look at the outward appearance. I look at the heart. It doesn't matter what you look like. It has nothing to do with how God's gonna use you. It doesn't matter the outward appearance of your truck. If you have a... truck that's 37's on it or you have a minivan. That's what men do. We look at the boys look at the outward appearance. Oh, you have a minivan. You're not a true man. Oh, you, you You know, we're fixated with that. The truck that I drive, the house I have. Now God looks at the heart. He doesn't care that you're overweight. He doesn't care that you've got pimples all over your face. He doesn't care that your rig isn't as cool as an expert. He looks at the heart. That's always the people God uses the most, is the people who've got something beautiful going on inside here that can't be displayed in a cul-de-sac or on a magazine cover or in an early quarterly earnings report. It's always at the heart. So, goes through all these sons, one by one, one by one, this one's for you, no, that's not it, goes to the next baby, that's not it, that's it, goes through all of them, and then says this. Then Samuel said to Jesse, are all your sons here? Because God hasn't told them any of these are them. And he said, well, there remains yet the youngest, but behold, he's keeping the sheep. This is really, really tricky and really, really interesting. The word here, he is the youngest, can also be taken, he is the least. He's the least. Jesse brought all of his sons out, but this one? No, no, don't want him. Don't want him. You don't need to see him. He's keeping the sheep. It's the dirty work. No one wants to do it. And he's the youngest. He's the least. There's different rabbinical schools of thought where would hear a rabbinical school of thought. It means that when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the law, he brought the law chiseled in stone, that's known as the written law, but Jews also believe there was also the oral law. And God downloaded to Moses a bunch of oral things. And the rabbis, you hear different rabbinical schools of thought, there's different rabbis in different schools, different branches of the tree, who all claim that they heard from their person, who heard from their person, their person, exactly what God said to Moses. and they have passed it to them. verbally. So that's how you have all these laws that are created, even though they're not in the Old Testament, because people believe in like, I got this from Moses, which came down the oral law. And Jesus says, blessed are the poor in spirit. He's talking about people who aren't aware of all these oral laws and aren't in the Cool Kids Club and don't have all this insider spiritual information, which actually happens in Christianity today. A bunch of people like to puff themselves up with how rich they are in spirit, the vision God gave them, the dream God gave them, and what God said to them. And God does do all those things, doesn't he? Often as some people say that he does. They're trying to broadcast that they're rich in spirit. And Jesus said, bless those of you who are poor in spirits. Don't have all that stuff. One of the rabbinical schools of thought is that David, and then inside these rabbinical schools of thought, then they have different teachings, all that kind of stuff. One of the common things over in Israel with these different rabbinical schools of thought is that David was a bastard. that David, that Jesse, at least Jesse believed that his wife had an adulterous affair with somebody and David wasn't his actual son. And that's why he didn't even bring him forth. Like he's diving out of the sheet. That's one of the youngest, the least. Psalm 51, Psalm 51-3, check this out, written by David. When you understand this is a theory, this verse like blows your mind. This is David's prayer journal. He says this behold I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me So he could have been speaking literally there, literally knowing, knowing that he was a bastard and he was the least and he didn't fit in. The second identity, all of us are, all of us are, and these aren't in numerical order, they're just there, is a son, you're a son. You are a son. You might not have felt like a son because your earthly dad didn't treat you like a son. You might not have known your earthly father. but you are a son, this is critical. This is why Jesus, the most important part of his life, is when God says to him, this is my son, whom I'm well pleased of. Not, this is the person who's gonna do everything I want him to do, not this is the person that's gonna be a great teacher, not this is the person that's gonna be an ultimate model for being a man, it might be all those things, but his core identity was, he is a son. Most important thing that we have to settle with ourselves is, does God love me because of what I do? Or does God love me because of who I am because I am his son. My son had to leave this morning. He's got to go now take care of his son. And I hope my son has learned by now. Yeah. Things he does might've bothered me and some things he does might make me happy. There's just some degree of that, but try to drill into your son. Dude doesn't matter what you do. I'm here. There's friends that'll, good friends will help you move and then your dad will help you move a body. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna. It doesn't matter what you do. You're not getting out of the circle of my love. It doesn't matter what you do. You're not getting out of the circle of trust. It doesn't matter. You cannot change that, that I'm your number one fan or be your greatest fan. Do you feel that way that God feels out about you? He does, you know. He does. And when you don't know it, you're not operating in this identity. When you've allowed religion to delude you that God's love is conditioned on you doing nice things that he approves of, that God's approval is conditioned on you being away that some pastor says you need to be or your dad said you need. When you think that your performance dictates whether or not you're in with God. That's, you're missing the identity. You're thinking about something you do, no, it's something you are. You are this. You are a son. You're a son who God loves and is a fan of yours and with all of your problems and mistakes, he's into you. Son, I'm not gonna read all the verse here. I can't give you the whole book. I'm working on it right now too. I'll just go through these other ones really quick. Another one, warrior. Warrior. A warrior, David was created for battle. Part of why he was not supposed to build the temple is God said, no, you're a man of blood. And he didn't mean by that, you're a man of blood, that you can't build something since you kill people. He meant by that, I need you to keep killing people. As you had David, his, actually, if you had to say what was his secret sauce personally, it was that he killed people. That was unbelievable. He goes and. against the Goliath. I'm not going to give the whole Goliath story, but he's like, he's just securing his identity. He said, I killed the bear, killed wolves, I got this. I'm pretty good at killing things. I got it, I'm a warrior. Saul says, give me a thousand foreskins, you can have my wife. David goes, well, it'd be a lot easier to get them if I killed them first. It'd be a lot better if you stand still, while he kills them. Or goes back to Saul, here he goes. These stories are in the Bible, he's a warrior. Jesus, when he goes, he doesn't kill anybody, but he's slaying demons all the time. He's a warrior, and by the way, I'm pretty sure God has not called anybody to kill people here, I'm pretty sure. Maybe in self-defense sometime it might happen or something else. Please don't take me too literalistic, but be very clear. You are a warrior If you're married your wife's got issues you got you're gonna put on your warrior identity and you go man Warriors, they hang out in mud and difficulty and they don't sleep very long and it's painful And when my marriage is painful you go I can do this. I'm a warrior I'm a warrior By the way, emotional pain is way, way more hard to deal with than physical pain, right? So you put your warrior, it is who you are. You're created to be a warrior. This is why there's a crisis of masculinity. Like, does culture even need us anymore? They even need our muscles anymore because we have machines and AI and drones and... uh... just all kind of the we've been are even needed this one thing that's being talked about in the ivy league universities to really need that anymore because our structure is bill for building things ripping things out the ground killing things about you know i really need they were not needed for those things but you are a warrior fighting for kids fighting your friends fighting for your community in whatever way it is. I'm not talking about doing violence for all those things. I'm just saying that emotional, that's who you, you have to believe, you are a warrior. Otherwise you're a pansy. Otherwise you're just a passive victim. That's why you have so many victims. They actually believe they're a victim. No, a warrior's never a victim. A warrior may get shot, a warrior may lose, but a warrior's never a victim. He's pushing. He feels like he has control. He has something that he can maneuver in this situation. A warrior. Today's episode is brought to you by AG1. I gave AG1 a try because I was feeling a bit sluggish, not confident I was getting all the nutrients that I felt that I needed. And I thought maybe this is an easy solution. So I drink AG1 in the morning. I love doing the morning. I do it on an empty stomach. It forces me to get 12 ounces of water into my system. I love doing something proactive and aggressive to make me feel better and at least give me peace of mind. AG1 is designed with this kind of ease in mind so you can live healthier and better without having to complicate your routine. Each scoop has 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and whole food sourced ingredients of the highest quality. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1. and get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. So go to drinkag1.com slash aggressive life. That's drinkag1.com slash aggressive life to take control of your health. Check it out. Another one is a king. King. Kings grow things and they organize things. That's what kings do. They grow and they organize. When I was a boy, I was a boy until I was about probably 23, Lib came over to my apartment, me and my buddy were living there and it was destroyed. I mean, destroyed, we were just dating. If I destroy it, I'm talking about like never do dishes. I would literally, because I was such a lazy ass, I would rather than I did throw my dishes away and buy new ones than actually clean them. So she came over and then my buddy was no different than me. They're just crap all. Are we okay? I'll get there. Sorry. You'll get there. All right. That's all right. Someone can play the guitar through that thing. What kings do is they bring order. Kings bring order. They like to grow things and they bring order. Gosh, this is so funny. Microphone goes out and all of a sudden my voice starts hurting more. Ahem. Mental. I am not a victim. A king, a king expands things. Crosley is acting as a king when he's on this land, right? He's like, the wood is always organized. He's always what I keep trying to remind him. It's not a golf course. Relax, relax, relax. But he's like he can't help it. His king identity like he needs his stuff buttoned up. He wants to push trees back. He wants that he's acting as a king in your family. You're a king. Bring order to your family is a good thing. Telling your kids they can't do something simply because your king is good enough. Jesus is the king of a kingdom. He brought order wherever he went. Another one. is, what have I done so far? Creator, Son, Warrior, King. That's four. All right, another one. Jesus says, who is on the down line of David, Jesus says, I no longer call you a servant because a servant doesn't know his master's business. I call you friend. David was an unbelievable friend. That's who you are, you are a friend. That's part of your core identity. And part of why men are struggling with so much of mental illnesses, our life is out of alignment with our core identity. Men are lonely. Four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Three more times more likely to have mental illness. Two more times more likely to have an alcohol abuse related incident. It's because we're lonelier than women and we're just not bearing it well. And we're not, are we not just lonely, but internally I believe we feel something is wrong because we don't have any friends. When we're out of line with our identity, we just, we get messed up. Part of what Man Camp and Vet Camp does, it gives people a relational connection. I have some friends, at least for a weekend. Maybe some people that may go on forever and ever and ever and ever. Men are lonely. We don't have any friends. We're out of step with our core identity and our life won't work. How many is that? Five. Five, okay. Six, last one. Be the most tender one for some of us. Not looking here at anything in the past like you messed up way back here, but where you are right now going forward. The last one, maybe the most intense one is father. Father. At your core, you are a father. This is the biggest outage in David's life. I talked with the guide I use when I go over to Israel. And I said, you know, one thing I'm struggling with David, I love David, but he was such a freaking loser when it came to being a dad. He was just a loser. And by the way, you will be a total and complete loser, at least in one of these. Doesn't mean you give up on it. but you will be a total loser you'll struggle with for the rest of your life. Otherwise you'd be God, right? One of these is just gonna be at least one, at least one you're gonna be awful with. And I said to God, I said, his Jewish, Jewish Christian family was the original Christian family that settled. in Israel when Israel became a nation after World War II, the original one. And all born Jewish messianic Jews in Israel come from his and his family's lineage. Amazing guy. And I said, I really struggle with this. I mean, here's David. He's got a son, Absalom. He doesn't father him. And actually, Absalom leads a coup, tries to split the nation in half. David is running for his life. And I said, what is this? And he said, well, how do we know about all these things? I said, the Bible? He said, yeah. And who commissioned the book of Chronicles, among other things? I don't know. So the ancient world, there isn't ancient documentation of Jesus in the first century that's outside the Bible, at least not much, because the only thing that was ever documented were things that entered the royal record. that's the things that were documented because they had the scribes and a place to preserve it and all that stuff. So unless Jesus was interacting personally with Caesar, it would never make the written record. The reason we know that David was a loser father is because he made sure it got in the written record. It was like David sending us a message. Hey everybody, I really messed this one up. Don't be like me. This is really critical, being a father. Being a father is maybe the most important thing you can do because as a physical father, you've reproduced and your life will last longer than somebody who doesn't reproduce. It will. Being a father means you bring somebody into the world who. who you will have forever and they will probably never ban you unless you're a totally crappy, crappy father. Being a father also means, and by the way, you can be a father without putting DNA in somebody and without adopting somebody at two months old. You can be a father when you cooter a kid who's at risk and is in third grade. You can be a father when you've got somebody in your men's group and you just can't kick them out. They're just, they're not making any progress. They might be bringing the group down, but you're like, I just can't, I can't, can't kick them out. Can't, I can't, I can't figure out how to do it because fathers take responsibility for people. They're not in a currency of relationship. It's like, I am committed to you, even beyond a friend. Your problems are my problems. And I just can't, I'm here to father you. When a man doesn't have somebody who he's fathering, again, he just becomes a normal person who consumes and every relationship is transactional because it's quid pro quo. Dads aren't quid pro quo. You know, we just get a little kid or we adopt somebody or we're taking somebody under our wing and it's like, oh gosh, this stuff doesn't, yeah. Yeah. And you know what? That's what God thinks about you and I sometimes. Are you serious? Do you think that God goes, oh man, oh, what a son who always brings me joy. He does something, we do sometimes. Do you think like God's going, no, he like sticks with us. Sticks with us, he's a father, sticks with us, hangs with us, endures with us, blesses us, understands us. And B, this is part of your identity. If you don't come to a place where you can find someone to take responsibility for who may outlast you, there's just a piece of your life that's gonna be not quite as powerful. So these are the six identities. I believe these things are who you are. They need to be unearthed. You need to dust them off. All these things will help you be more effective in life, but these things, I believe, are the ultimate transcendent values that are in God the Father, in David, and in Jesus. And that's part of what we get to do here at Camps. We get to operate in all of these six identities. So that's all I have for you today. All right. So that's it. We're just done, done. Hang out, leave, whatever. And clean up, clean up. Clean up. Thanks for joining us on this journey toward aggressive living. Find more resources, articles, past episodes and live events over at bryantome.com. Pre-orders for my new books, a repackaged edition of The Five Marks of a Man and a brand new Five Marks of a Man Tactical Guide are open right now on Amazon. If you haven't yet, leave this podcast a rating and review. It really helps. Get this show in front of new listeners. And if you want to connect, find me on Instagram, at Brian Tome. The Aggressive Life is a production of Crossroads Church, Cincinnati, Ohio.