Ben Anderson 0:00

This is a Sound Rebel podcast. Discover more of our shows at soundrebel.co.uk.

Sharon Hartley 0:21

Welcome to another episode of Over the Influence. Today we're going to be talking about all things moderation. But first, let me introduce myself. My name is Sharon Hartley. I'm mother to three children, two teenagers and an in between, and live in Lancashire in the northwest of England. My beautiful co-host is Freddie Bennett.

Freddie Bennett 0:40

I'm Freddie I'm former stressed, depressed heavy drinking corporate drone turned into an alcohol-free Guinness World Record holder. I'm still smiling still here – I am locked down but not knocked down and I am celebrating 400 days with no beer.

Sharon Hartley 0:58

That's pretty impressive. I should add as well, Freddie, on the back of that I used to be a daily drinker, a daily wine drinker, ramping it up at weekends, and like you I'm now in the hundreds, the hundreds of days alcohol-free. 630 or something.

Freddie Bennett 1:14

It’s the best thing we ever did. Very, very impressed by that. So, you're coming up to two years alcohol-free then.

Sharon Hartley 1:21

It'll be two years this September. I've just got another summer to get through. And as we discussed, well, we're going to discuss very shortly about moderation. I just want to quickly mention, as you was saying there Freddy that we’re locked down, but not knocked down. I love it.

Freddie Bennett 1:36

Getting a Freddie phrase in there early. That's what I like to do. Pre-emptive strike.

Sharon Hartley 1:40

With this weather at the moment. I don't know about you. But this week, I've been a bit of an angry, sober non-drinker. And really, yeah, we've talked about triggers in past episodes, haven't we? And the minute the sun comes out and the flowers come out in the garden, it's barbecue weather. I'm like, right? I could just kill a glass of rose. So, I'm just pleased to say that with everything we've learned over these last hundreds of days not drinking, I had an alcohol free cider, scratched that itch or itched that scratch and it was all over within 20 minutes – moved very quickly on.

Freddie Bennett 2:13

It's difficult, isn't it? Now, obviously now we've cursed it. We've said the weather's amazing. So, by the time you're listening to this podcast, it's probably going to be like flood warning or something. But no, you're absolutely right Shazza, it's the kind of environment where the sun is shining, the skies are blue. No one really knows what's happening in lockdown anymore. But for our UK listeners, I can maybe just drive a few 100 miles and then get a beer and claim it's to test my eyesight. But, like one of our lovely political advisors did, but um, I know I've been there. And I know, I've spoken to a few mates recently and they've been like, right. I've been doing the whole alcohol-free thing. But yeah, there's the friend having the barbecue or the party and obviously, social distancing, social distancing all around. But there's still social distancing getting smashed. And that is so, so tempting. And I've been there as well. But it's, it's such a tough time at the moment. But I just believe I have to listen to that tiny, tiny voice inside of me that says, get through this alcohol free, and surely you can get through most things.

Sharon Hartley 3:20

So, in previous episodes of Over the Influence we've been talking about background Ben, he's been in the background actually a little bit too much. We haven't heard much from him recently. As we've explained, myself and Freddie are completely alcohol-free right now. But background Ben is taking a little bit of a different path and he's dabbling in this thing called moderation. 20/20/20 was his challenge and I think it's about time we brought him back.

Freddie Bennett 3:49

It’s worth just jumping in there and saying Shaz has just run off for a sec with some kid issues.

Sharon Hartley 3:55

Which bit of don’t come into the cubby hole don’t they get?! Right. I'll try again. I'm sweating now. Really sweaty. Ah, what a shambles, right. You may have heard on previous episodes, us speak to our very own producer, our Podcast Producer background Ben – we do keep him in the background. He just sort of sits there shouting directions and telling us to shut up and keeping us on the right tracks basically. But this episode, we are talking about all things moderation. And it's the perfect episode to bring our producer background Ben back into the forefront because it's something you're dabbling with… tinkering with?

Ben Anderson 4:34

Yeah, I'm terrified about this because I know that especially you Shazza, you have very strong opinions on the topic of moderation. I am slightly worried that I'm gonna spend most of this episode annoying you and then getting told off by you.

Sharon Hartley 4:48

I won’t wag my finger and tell you off, I shall take upon board your opinions then.

Ben Anderson 4:53

Okay. Well, I mean, essentially, I started this year off… long before we'd even heard of Coronavirus lockdown and quarantine and all these horrible other words, but I decided just because I was interested in pursuing an alcohol-free journey, to start the year (rather than give it up completely), I was gonna take a slightly different approach where I still wanted to have some structure. So I created in my own head, this little thing called 20, in 2020, right, it’s 20 days where I can have a drink. I just basically I looked at my calendar, and I know what you always say about there's never a good time. But this year, I was best man twice. Well, I was going to be best man, twice, my brother is turning 30. I just had all these kind of big things that I wanted to be able to have a drink on those occasions. But I also wanted to dramatically cut back because I had found myself getting into situations where I was having one at lunchtime, that would turn into two, I was basically drinking all these unnecessary beers that I didn't need to drink. So, I did go into 2020 thinking there'll be 20 days. Now I must admit, that has kind of gone to pot a little bit since this whole lockdown thing. But at the same time, I've got to say it hasn't been anywhere near as bad as if this has happened less time last year, when I hadn't even thought about moderating my alcohol, then I think I would have drank so much more during this period. And it really hasn't been much comparatively to what it could have been. So I'm really, I'm interested because I know that both of you have strong feelings on moderation. But I suppose I want to bring the angle in this episode that actually it kind of has worked for me. And certain things have rubbed off. And I think you can moderate.

Freddie Bennett 6:32

Yeah, I think it's great. And I'm pleased to hear that the alcohol-free journey has really worked for you apart from all those days when you drank alcohol. Apart from that it sounds brilliant!

Ben Anderson 6:43

Haha. Like you say, Shaz, alcohol was becoming a daily occurrence for me. Yeah, that was the thing that I didn't even notice it happening. I was working in a job in the media where it was very easy every single day for there to be someone new in the office, and you'd want to go out for a pint with them afterwards. Just that whole kind of corporate world thing. You know, someone's coming from Manchester today, someone’s coming from London today. Oh, Ben, you're the boss. It was almost an obligation. I think you don't realise getting into those habits do you all the time. And that's why I kind of said, you know, I think alcohol-free life, for me might be something on the horizon in the future. But I was wanting to give it I wanted some structure to try it for a year. And I mean, maybe we should start talking about the moderation myth, because I've really want to get into this subject a bit more, because I think we might have a bit of a good natured debate.

Sharon Hartley 7:36

I think so Ben. And yes, I do have very, very strong opinions with regard to moderation, but it's only an opinion with regard to my moderation. I am actually really impressed with your honesty. You know, saying that, okay, you might not have quite done the 20/20/20. And this horrendous situation we are in, you know, I do understand if people do pick up a drink, it's not the end of the world. I'm just really relieved for me right now that that's not the case, because I dread to think, in all honesty, what it would be like for me, if I was still drinking right now, it wouldn't be good. And I think the fact that you've said moderation right now is working for you is absolutely brilliant, every credit to you. If it's working for you, then that's all that matters, really, isn't it? I just know from my point of view, moderation is an absolute myth. And for me, and my alcohol consumption and the nature of my character, I can't do a single thing in moderation no matter what it is. So alcohol has got no chance, you know, people say, just have one or just the one bottle. I don't understand the concept of just one because really, in all honesty, I only ever drank to get drunk, not just to enjoy that one glass of wine.

One thing with moderation for me, comes this whole noise in your head, this whole decision making process and these rules you create yourself based on moderation. Okay? When can I drink? At what time can I drink? I'll just have two drinks on that day. I won't drink before six o'clock on a Saturday. All that noise for me. It's just It's chaos. And it's, it doesn't help me in the slightest for me, I have to remove any notion of moderation, remove that noise. I might as well have zero, nothing, because then it just takes that noise away. And I don't have to consider or decide what I'm going to do about that bottle of wine or that glass of wine. I need it to be zero. And that's how it works for me.

Freddie Bennett 9:40

I know what you mean. I mean, I've certainly been there as well where you know if you've got that kind of whatever is the event/celebration/birthday, and then you start having that debate in your head and you think well maybe I'll do this and maybe I'll have that one drink at that time with those people, but I won't drink spirits and I'll do this and I'll do that. The whole thing becomes so bloody complicated and stressful. We talks about like the anxiety that you get when you're hungover, or the stupid things that you do when you're drunk. And that leaves you awake at night. I've had bloody sleepless nights lying awake thinking, am I going to drink next weekend or not? I've been there, sober, thinking, maybe I could have a drink? No, I shouldn't have a drink. But what about just one or maybe just two, but maybe just you know, low-alcohol drinks and all this. And then you wake up and you're tired, and you're like, bloody how I could just make my life a lot easier, and just say no.

Sharon Hartley 10:39

Completely. See, it's like being on a massive hamster wheel, isn't it?

Ben Anderson 10:42

You know what? It's interesting, because I know that both of you said to me, both privately, and I'm pretty sure you said it on this podcast as well. That the moment you're going through an alcohol-free journey, but that doesn't mean that you won't ever drink again. Can ask you about that then. Do you both still believe that? Or are you both alcohol-free forever and a day?

Sharon Hartley 11:15

Freddy, do you want to go first?

Freddie Bennett 11:17

Yep. We all were all about honesty on this podcast. And yeah, I still cannot say (and it might be controversial), I still cannot say hand on heart that I'm never gonna drink again. I was supposed to be on a stag weekend or whatever they call them in the US in America, not a hen weekend… a bachelor party. Yeah. In that lovely serene spa town of Ibiza. And I'm supposed to be there in a couple of days time. I spent a good a good few nights just lying in bed thinking, you know, you'll be at 500 days then and that'd be a good time to have a drink… And yes, I had this this big dilemma with myself, quite recently, but I still cannot say that I can never drink again. Which is a weird thing to say. Because deep down there’s a part of me that still quite fancies a drink. And I'm fine around alcohol. I could sit in a pub. I can pour drinks for other people without glugging out the gin bottle, which is real progress for me. But yeah, still can't tell you that I'll never go drink again. Does that mean I'm actually in favour of moderation? Because I'm sort of saying I'd quite like to moderate even though we're kind of saying it's a myth. Well, this is why the whole bloody subject keeps me awake at night.

Ben Anderson 12:41

No, it's interesting that you say that because I suppose that's kind of that's kind of my point with the whole moderation thing is that if you think that you will have a drink again one day, then surely you will have to moderate you will have to go through some sort of process or adopt some sort of system that allows you to drink moderately without going back to old habits. Shazza what do you think?

Sharon Hartley 13:03

Oh, what's the point? What is the point of me even trying to consider moderating? I'm going to say it as it is, Ben, I cannot be arsed. Full stop. But see, on the flip side, just hear me out. As I say, I'm not drinking for now. Because the prospects of never drinking ever again means if I'm alive for the next 50 years, am I ever going to touch alcohol again? I don't know. I can't answer that question. For now, I don't drink, and I can only really say it for one day at a time. I'm not gonna drink this weekend. I'm not gonna drink into next week. I'm not gonna drink in five years time. I don’t know. I've no idea. And I something inside me stops me from saying I will never ever drink again. But I'm really happy with saying, I'm not drinking right now because this is working for me. And the thought of having to tackle moderation and set a list of rules as to what I can drink, who I'm going to drink with on what occasion what I'm going to drink. I cannot be arsed. I just need to carry on doing what I'm doing being alcohol-free. Zero works for me right now. Can you tell I'm quite passionate about this?

Freddie Bennett 14:16

I know. As much as I love background Ben, it feels a bit like a playground, you know when I say something and Ben scampers back to Shazza and says ‘Freddie says this what do you think about it?’. And I say Shazza scares me and then Ben tells Shaz ‘Shazza, Freddie says he’s not happy with you.’ Hahah.

Ben Anderson 14:40

Honestly, well, we're doing this over zoom at the moment, but Freddie, you're just around the corner from me, but Shazza you're hundreds of miles away and I'm feeling I'm starting to feel slightly warm under the collar.

Freddie Bennett 14:49

I don't disagree with you Shazza. That's why this whole topic like it bloody keeps me awake at night. This has been Red Bull. I do agree with you and like I hate the stress and I also think, what's the point of having one drink because you have it and you think, well, great, I've ruined my alcohol-free journey. I'm going to have like the anxiety and the horrible stuff that alcohol gives you anyway. And I'm going to be beating myself up for having that drink. But then I think if I'm gonna have a drink, I might as well not have a drink. I might as well have a soft drink or an alcohol-free beer. So I think what is the bloody point, it's more hassle and more stress and more pain than it's worth. And quite frankly, I've got enough stress in my life right now with family and kids and global pandemic and all that stuff.

Sharon Hartley 15:37

Freddie, even you just talking about moderation now, makes me sweat. My heart starts racing, my brain starts going, I'm thinking, oh, just stop the noise. It's confusing. And even just talking about moderation sets me off. So even the thought of having any point to moderate.

Ben Anderson 16:03

Well, you know what, I suppose I'm actually really worried about some of the comments we're gonna get after this episode directed at me being like, why are you talking about this, but I think I just want to challenge you on it. Like, I want to be that kind of, I want to play devil's advocate. I know. And look, actually, it's kind of annoying that we're talking about this now that we didn't do this in like one the very first episodes because I was doing so well with my 20 in 2020. Like I was bang on, I stuck to it. I went for two months at one point without having to write the beginning of two months that having a drink had one in January then didn't have another one till, yeah, March. So I was feeling good about it. I was feeling positive. I had my days planned in. So I know that I would have achieved that. And actually, you know, in this whole lockdown situation, I haven't gone overboard at all. But I have gone off that track. I did have one when it wasn't my brother's birthday and I did have one when it wasn't supposed to be a stag do, you know, whatever. But my question to you he Shazza…

Sharon Hartley 17:08

Go on. Hit me with it. I can take it.

Ben Anderson 17:11

I suppose the interesting thing is, you know, you can't be bothered with the noise. Yeah. Do you not think that what you know, my idea of 20 in 2020 is actually very simple. And there is no noise there. It's basically at the start of the year I went, there are certain dates that I want to enjoy with my mates by having a drink with them. And I'm not going to deviate outside these dates. In fact, I did give myself three. So, I planned in 17 things. And one of them was the anniversary of my granddad passing away, and stag dos, and my brother’s 30th birthday – stuff like that. And I gave myself three floating days. Do you not think that that isn't very noisy, but actually, if you kind of have that plan and stick to your plan, then there is no noise.

Freddie Bennett 17:56

I might have to jump in there, Ben. I totally get what you mean, but then the complication behind it and you've just bought in the concept of floating days. I know. And I'll come back to this after Shazza has said her piece. But, uh, maybe I think it's something deeper that I'm gonna touch upon. But I know if it was me doing it, I'd start off with my calendar and my events and my floating days and my days if it's got a certain element of a leap year, but then I'd be saying, well, you know, actually, Aquarius is quite high again in Saturn at the moment. Mercury’s in retrograde. That's probably a day I'm going to have a drink and yeah, the Coronavirus data wasn't very good today. So I'm going to have a drink those days. And then, you know, I'm going to have a drink on the day that my kid kicks me in the balls. And then I'll start finding these events. But the frequency of these events, shall we say, shall get more and more greater. And then I'm just going to have a drink on a day with a Y in it.

Sharon Hartley 19:11

I'm gonna agree with Freddie and what he's just said. And with respect, I do love your plan, 20 in 2020. And I think, you know, in all fairness, he sounds like it would work for you, which is brilliant, because you're able to control that. It sounds like you've got an off switch. And you've set out your days and if you stick to that, and if you do exactly what you've just said, I will only drink on these occasions. I shall high five you and I shall buy you a drink and say really, really well done. The problems begin where Fred is just touched upon. If you've got floating days, or I did have something that's what about something that pops up that's not on the calendar. What about an impromptu barbecue next weekend?

Ben Anderson 19:54

Well, that’s what the floating days were there. Right? Okay, 17 days where I knew, and three days (which isn’t many) that in the rest of the year if something did come up, then I could go, and use one of my days I have left.

Freddie Bennett 20:10

Would the floating day be divided into a floating half day and then split six half days across? Are we talking financial years or calendar years?

Ben Anderson 20:19

We're literally talking days, 24 hours, it's Monday, the 17th of whatever and I planned in to do it then. So as soon as it gets as soon as I wake up on Tuesday, I won't. I won't do it on Sunday in anticipation of it, either. It’s that day.

Freddie Bennett 20:32

I would be there at midnight with the bottle and the bottle opener watching the clock. I'd be like Alexa, what time is it? 12:01am Bang, I would be guzzling like a thirsty dog. And then I'll be there until 11:59 until the next night.

Sharon Hartley 20:49

I’d do exactly the same.

We're just gonna take a very quick break now to say hello, and thank you to those who've been in touch after hearing our episodes of Over the Influence. Last week's episode with Drew – our Australian Rockstar went down an absolute storm. So much so that Carol got in touch she found us on our website soundrebel.co.uk/over the influence and she found the Big Blue Button. She clicked it and she loved episode seven that much. She bought us seven coffees. Absolutely fantastic. Obviously, these aren't real coffees. These are contributions towards the cost we have run in the podcast a bit of production, obviously marketing, that sort of thing. So, Carol, thank you so much. Go hard or go home with those seven coffees. Something we used to do now we just look forward to going home and having an early night. I got one more big thank you also to lovely Julia again, she loved listening to our Australian friend Drew so much that she's gone in and bought us three alcohol-free beers. Thank you so much, Julia. It's lovely having you listening and just a shout out to Gus. Gus is a new listener to Over the Influence. He's just joined us. And he says to quote, it's well worth half an hour of your time. A lot of nodding. going on while he was listening. He wasn't nodding, falling asleep. He was nodding in agreement with what we were talking about. Myself and Freddie and Ben believe honesty is the best policy which is what we've nailed in this episode. I think all are very honest. Opinions on moderation. So thank you so much Gus, three weeks alcohol free and nailing it absolutely fantastic to hear from you.

Ben Anderson 22:53

The other thing I was quite happy with is remember episode one, episode two, where I did one of these days and had a drinking day, one of my 20. And I'd had a few pints I started to feel a bit drunk and I didn't like the feeling of it. And I went to the fridge and I levelled myself out with a couple of alcohol-free Heinekens. You know, that's something I'd never have done this time last year as I know, I just think you know, I love you guys. I love doing this podcast. And you know, as a producer, one of my favourite things is I get to work with lots of different people across lots of different areas and lots of different challenges and lifestyles and everything else. And I've been really interested to find out more about this alcohol-free journey, but I’m just not sure it's the right thing to say that moderation doesn't work. I think you've got to, like we've said from the beginning with this, we've got to look at different angles, and it's about changing your relationship with alcohol, this podcast.

Freddie Bennett 23:56

No, I totally agree Ben, that as one thing we've always said from the start, it isn't about being preachy. And it would be wrong if we were here preaching saying it as the alcohol- free way or the No-way. And all those things. But here's the thing, and I think one thing we also said is about being very honest and realistic with people and being different for anyone else who just spouts the claptrap. Here's the thing when it comes down to for me when I Look deep, deep inside myself, which is never a good place to look. And my worry about moderation, if I'm honest with myself, is that I miss getting drunk. And when I say moderate, I'm trying to find out this magic mythical solution like a bloody unicorn, where I can get that kind of 6pm to 9pm buzz, a couple of drinks in where your eyes are shining and you're hilarious and you can flirt with the person in the restaurant to get the best table and all the brilliant parts of drinking. I just want that. With none of the a&e visits, the falling out of nightclubs, the fights, the arguments, the hangovers, the anxiety, the depression, the self-loathing, self-hatred, I don't want all of that. I'm just saying that I missed that buzz that you get right at the start. That was the reason I started drinking in the first place. That made me feel like I was some amazing person that I didn't believe was on the inside, that is what I miss.

And that's what I'm trying to chase by believing that I can moderate. And by saying that, I know that I'm chasing a myth, I'm chasing a story that I told myself, that isn't actually a true story. And I believed that I needed to have alcohol to be this person. And I think I'm kind of saying that I missed that person. Sometimes, I'd quite like to see him again for a couple of hours, and then kick him out before it does any more damage in my life. So I have all these debates about drinking, not drinking, moderating, not moderating, giving myself a weekend off to go absolutely crazy. But I know what it comes down to, to me is still that struggle within myself, where I know that I am not a person who could just enjoy a couple of drinks, and then not cause long term damage in my life, I could maybe do it for a week, or a month or six months. But sooner or later, if I started to drink again, I know that I would be in that position, I'd never want to be in, where the drug dealer’s got his gun against my head. And that's what it comes down to. For me, I think differences is that some people like yourself, Ben, are maybe… I'm not gonna say lucky because I believe we all have different lives that are different in that potentially, you can have a better control over alcohol than me. And that's why maybe your 20 in 2020, with your floating days, remainder one, carry the four, put it on the calendar, is something that can work for you. And I absolutely respect that. And you know what? I'm a little bit jealous, if I'm totally honest, because I would love that. But I know very quickly for me, it would be Fear and Loathing in 2020, not 20 in 2020.

Ben Anderson 27:04

Well you’ve made me feel bad.

Freddie Bennett 27:08

I don't mean it like that at all. I mean, as in like, I think we are all different in life. And there is obviously a big bunch of people out there that are questioning, do I need to maybe tone down my drinking and for some of those people it’s maybe because they don't have a good enough off switch. And Ben, you can flick your switch very easily. And you can flick it many times a day, I have trouble flicking my switch, my switch is sticky. And for a long time, I didn’t want to admit that my switch was sticky. But now I think I need to understand that I don't have an off switch. So, it's better for me if I don't flick it as much.

Sharon Hartley 27:51

I want to say the same, but it’s gonna come out or wrong now.

Ben Anderson 27:54

This has definitely gone from very deep to slightly creepy. In a very short space of time.

Freddie Bennett 28:01

I know I'm rambling but you get what I'm saying? I think I think I'm saying I would I always flirt with the idea of moderation because I like that idea of all the fun bits of the first part of the night when all the drinks are flowing. And it's a brilliant time. But I know it's not real to be able to have that without all the bad sides. And if I want both, it means I can’t have either.

Sharon Hartley 28:38

Freddie you were talking then about wanting to see old Freddie, drunk Freddie, I don't really want to meet him. I really like this Freddie. I only know this version of you. And it's not a version of you. And don't start singing when I mentioned this. But this is me, isn't it? This is you. This is as good as it gets.

Freddie Bennett 29:09

I totally know what you mean. And I think that goes back to the stories tell myself that I needed to have alcohol to be this funny, charming, witty guy. And now without alcohol I'm sometimes funny, occasionally charming and not very witty, but maybe that's alcohol makes us think that we are funnier and more successful and more flirtatious of all these things than we are then the next day. It also makes us think that were not as good and not as worthy and more anxious and more terrible than we actually are. It was like a seesaw that kind of pivot some way halfway through the night and I think it is part of that Shazza. It's about learning to believe in ourselves and being confident because we are fabulous people. I don't mean that an arrogant way. I mean everyone listening to this episode is an absolutely wonderful person. They don't need alcohol, to live their true life and to be an amazing person living to their values. So why the bloody hell do we try and convince ourselves that we do need alcohol because we don't.

Sharon Hartley 30:13

Picking up on what you said then about liking yourself. And, you know, I think back to the person I was when I was drinking what I've learned, I don't actually need to moderate. And again, you know, I really love the fact that Ben has brought this up and raised some fantastic points for us. It's a really divisive subject, but we talk about moderation, and I strongly do not ever want to do it, but I've realised, and this has only come about through being alcohol-free. I don't need to… what is the point of just having a couple? I really enjoy myself when I go out now. I have belly laughter, real laughter, I've had tears of laughter with the family. I've had laughter with friends during lockdown over Tik Toks and social media. And I absolutely adore it and I realised I don't need any alcohol anymore to have a laugh. It's all there for the taking. And actually, it's even more glorious in full sober technicolour. And so again, this is me… this is as good as it gets. And I really, really like it. And I don't feel need at the moment to ever consider going back. I don't feel the need to consider even trying alcohol because one of my main fears, or the main fear, Freddie is if I was to try it again, I would soon be down that slippery slope of rose wine and, and swimming in the stuff daily and I don't want to go there.

Freddie Bennett 31:32

Here's a question for you. I was lying awake thinking about you the other night. We all do. I think it's fair to say that you've made some inspirational and transformational changes to your life since going alcohol-free. And I'd consider you as a as a very successful lady. Do you feel that if you start it sounds weird, but it's always a bit like your kryptonite? Do you feel that if you had a drink, you might like all that stuff might disappear.

Sharon Hartley 31:59

100%. I'm really scared. And this is speaking really, honestly, I'm scared of losing what I've got. Now. I'm scared of tainting what I've got. And I do revel in the feeling of waking up on a Saturday or a Sunday thinking, this is it, I'm doing it, I don't need alcohol anymore. So yeah, I am scared. And I've come, I have come so far. And I look at myself 20 months ago, I was bloated, red faced, miserable, not happy at work, and feeling that I needed to have alcohol to have a laugh, to be accepted to be that the loudest dick in the room. I can do all that perfectly well, alcohol-free. And I really admire what you said, Freddie, about Ben's thoughts about moderation. Because you know what Ben, I think it's true. Me and Freddie are a little envious, that you're able to do that. And I do look at other friends and other people that I know and family members that they can have just a couple of G&Ts and be done. They can have that glass of wine with a meal and be done with it. I'd love to be that person. But yeah, I never have been and never will be. And now I've made that decision to remove alcohol from my life. I just don't see the flippin point.

Freddie Bennett 33:09

No, definitely not. I totally get what you mean. And I've made some some big changes to my life. And I've done some different things. My life is going a lot a lot more in the direction that I wanted to since I've been alcohol-free. And it does feel like a sort of like superhero movie. I'm not saying I'm a superhero at all, but it's that kind of, I'm worried if a drink touches my lips, then I won't be able to fly anymore. It's like, you know, I'll be Batman without his magic belt or whatever it is.

Sharon Hartley 33:40

Superman without his underpants.

Freddie Bennett 33:42

I know. Like imagine me flying without my underpants. The whole world doesn't need to see that.

Ben Anderson 33:48

It's kind of like back in your drinking days.

Freddie Bennett 33:52

Now there's a few stories.

Sharon Hartley 33:57

That was quite the debate, wasn't it? I really really enjoyed that actually, as much as I disagree with everything that Ben said.

Ben Anderson 34:18

And we're still friends?

Sharon Hartley 34:20

We’re still friends. Thank you, you can go back in the background now if you don't mind after that.

Freddie Bennett 34:24

I do think with the obviously the wonderful listeners that couldn't see the Zoom call that took place, if they could see that the evil looks and the spit that was covering the screen. This could well be the very last episode of Over the Influence. So, I'd like to thank everybody for all their support.

Ben Anderson 34:43

This has been an interesting episode, hasn’t it? And it's definitely bought some different opinions to the table. Please do leave us a review. Like we'd love to know your opinion, Apple podcasts. If you're listening on there. Then just write your kind of opinion your thoughts on this episode in the review section.

Sharon Hartley 34:58

Of course, as Ben said, leave us a review on Apple podcasts, please get in touch with us. We are on social media. You can find us on Instagram and Twitter @alcoholfreepod. Of course, we are also on Facebook, just search for Over the Influence. And if you want to get in touch privately, we understand that as well. We've got an email address over the influence at sound rebel.co.uk Get in touch! Tell us what you'd like to hear us debating in a friendly, non aggressive manner. Well, I think it was friendly. I think it was brilliant, actually. I think it was really, really interesting.

Freddie Bennett 35:34

I just want Ben to lend me one of his floating days that'd be lovely.

Sharon Hartley 35:38

Yeah same. Just the one.

Ben Anderson 35:42

Can I say see you guys next week?

Sharon Hartley 35:44

Please do.