Ben Anderson 0:00

This is a Sound Rebel podcast. Discover more of our shows at soundrebel.co.uk.

Sharon Hartley 0:21

Welcome to episode five of Over the Influence – can't believe we're on Episode Five already! This one is called the lighthouse effect. You're listening to me Sharon (Shazza) Hartley. I am 46 years old from the Northwest of England – from Lancashire. I'm married to Paul, I have three children, and I work in broadcasting.

Freddie Bennett 0:41

Hello, I am Freddie Bennett, otherwise known as Freddie Bennett. I'm 38, I live in Liverpool with my two boys Ollie and Luke, and my wife Sarah, I have gone from stressed annoyed, heavy-drinking corporate drone to still a bit stressed still a bit annoyed, but not drinking any more person who is trying to live his best life.

Sharon Hartley 1:06

And of course, let's not forget our producer in the background, although you're not really in the background. Do you mind being in the background?

Freddie Bennett 1:16

Well, you know, it does give you a role, doesn't it?

Ben Anderson 1:19

I don't have the pressure of the microphone like you guys.

Sharon Hartley 1:22

Yeah, fair point. So, Freddie. You've just hit your 365. So that is one whole year without a single drop of alcohol. But we were just chatting, weren't we, off mic? And you said that you're feeling a little bit weird. Now you've hit your goal?

Freddie Bennett 1:36

Yeah, I am definitely feeling a little bit weird. And it's a popular misconception, I think with alcohol. I mean, it's been an amazing, wonderful, stressful, traumatic, annoying, brilliant journey to get a whole one year without alcohol. But then you almost have this idea in your head that you think when you get to that year that it you know, you wake up that morning, and it's a whole new world and the birds are singing, and the sun is shining. I think I woke up on that morning, and one of my boys jumped on me and the other one just like need me in the groin. And told me he hated me. And it was just like any other day. But it has been tough. And if anything, I've been wanting to drink more, since I hit my one-year goal than before then, and I'm just trying to get my head around it because I thought as we’ve talked about behaviour change. And in the previous episode, we talked about all the Quit-lit and the positive mindset. And I thought I'd find it easy to be honest, but it has been tough. And now I tell myself, you've hit your goal, nothing to stop you apart from the fact that you're a host on an alcohol-free podcast, but I didn't think it'd be easy but now I I'm almost feeling a little bit lost, and I don't know where to go.

Sharon Hartley 2:49

Yeah, it's a strange feeling. I've been there and I'm now you know, another… I'm about 18 months alcohol-free – so six months ahead of that – and when I hit my 365 it was all singing all dancing. It was brilliant. And then day 366, I thought actually, if I wanted to I could have a glass of wine now. And I had these weird nagging thoughts going, ‘well go on then just try it see what it tastes like… Yeah, just have one…’ Well, if I could just have one I don't think I'd have attempted to give up alcohol for a year anyway, which is you know, the reason we're doing this podcast I suppose. But it's I think now, and again I'm gonna sound really cheesy, this is where the journey begins in many ways.

Freddie Bennett 3:30

It feels like I was an injured swan… Now bear with me here, this could be quite an image, I was an injured swan and I was bought into like a nice friendly animal shelter where I had like Shaz at the vet mopping my brow and background Ben bringing me some biscuits and a blanket and saying ‘is it okay?’ and then all of a sudden I've got better and you've said, ‘right, here's your bill, get out! You’re back out in the wilderness’. And I'm here thinking right where do I go now? What do I do? And I'm telling myself the stories and I've had this over the past few days where you tell yourself a narrative that’s like I can do anything! You've done a year without drinking, maybe now I can moderate or maybe I will go on that on that trip to Ibiza in the summer and all these different things. A lot of things I found right at the start, where your brain starts to play tricks on you and tells you these things, you have to say ‘shut up brain’.

Sharon Hartley 4:28

I think your brain only brings to the front the good memories. It's sneaky… it says stuff like, you know that that first glass of wine that just feels really nice as it sinks down? Yeah, and all the fun times and the romance of opening a bottle of wine in front of the fire.

Freddie Bennett 4:45

It blocks out the blackouts and the arguments anxiety and all that nasty stuff. Yeah, brains are a horrible thing aren’t they? Because I think so many people, they again they tell themselves this this story that it'd be okay if they started drinking again. And I find myself saying, ‘Well, maybe I'll just have beer this time, but I won't touch spirits’. Or ‘I'm going to set myself a three drink rule’ or ‘just drink tea on Saturday’. And all these old thoughts that I imagined I’d kicked down the road and now they’ve been starting to crawl back in again and trying to weave their evil magic to get me to pick up the bottle again.

Sharon Hartley 5:20

One tip I would give you having been there and done that is in the last episode, we talked a lot about Quit-lit. Yeah. And if you were to read, Alcohol Explained, and This Naked Mind, it explains why your brain is playing these tricks upon you. Right. And it all sort of makes sense. But I just think you need those reminders. It's hard work, isn't it? Just relying on yourself.

Freddie Bennett 5:43

Definitely. But yeah, I think that is a good bit of advice. Maybe it's time to dust off the quit-lits. I mean, by not drinking, I've achieved so many things. I don't mean that in an arrogant way. But just in terms of the fact that I've had time, and I've had a clearer head and a bit more confidence. And I could start to do some of the things I've always wanted to do. But then all of a sudden you think well, yeah, I've had a good run. You know, you've sort of you've built the car. So now why not just get drunk and burn it all down.

Sharon Hartley 6:28

Freddy, my advice, for what it's worth, is just stick with it. We have to ride this out, because he's gonna be the best thing. Trust me, just go with it. And I know it's really, really difficult. And obviously, you know, the reason we're doing this, that the pair of us is because we wanted to change things for ourselves. But as a result of that, have you found it's had an effect on those around you friends and family? And I think in sober circles and wider, what's known as the lighthouse effect, where you are this glowing beacon of sobriety, rubbing off on others.

Freddie Bennett 7:03

I've never been called a glowing beacon before. I think something sounds a bit like it. But that's a whole other story. But now you are writing. You know, I don't want to be doom and gloom about it at all, there is this little doubt but you know, if I, if I think back to nice the times, like I can now help my kids with their homework without having one eye on the clock thinking ‘ aw can I crack open a beer now that the school projects helped with?’. In terms of people around me, they do drink less, partly because I'm not pouring tequila down their throats. But you do forget is our own journeys, we have to do things for ourselves, but and you do forget that, that positive effect on people around you. And I think drinking sometimes certainly made me quite selfish. And you're always thinking about when I could get the next drink or the next round or the next night out. But if you do think about other people a bit more… the effect on my on my family and my wife and my children has been huge. And also my friends as well. And not even that it's you know, colleagues, people that you may help in terms of charities and things like that. There is this whole big circle around us that we don't even think about. I'm gonna try and use your Lighthouse metaphor… Now there's, there's so many ships on that stormy sea feeling a bit lost. And by being that massive, shiny beacon, a loving beacon, a beacon of sobriety, it is possible to help people. I think so many people out there need that; I was certainly one of them. You think, oh, I'm nothing special, I can't do anything to help people. I certainly can't inspire anyone! But without even realising it… by doing the rebellious thing and the brave thing and the thing that makes other people think, ‘oh, wow, that's, that's quite a brave thing to do’. By doing all those things, and stepping forward and saying I want to live my life differently… I'm not going to be a prisoner to this habit of drinking all the time. Then it becomes possible to help and inspire people, even if you think that's the last thing you can do. And for some people, you don't necessarily have to quit alcohol entirely. And we've said before, it's not about the whole alcohol is evil. And it is just about changing your relationship. And by just changing that relationship. You could help and inspire so many people to change their lives and do the things that they thought they couldn't do.

Sharon Hartley 9:21

What's blown me away, in giving up alcohol is first of all, I think many people thought I couldn't do it. Because I was a big drinker. Really enjoyed going out, you know, warm up drinks, pre drinks, drinks before the pre drinks, you know, first to arrive at the party. First to fall asleep at the party, but last to leave. And many people thought Shazza will never do it. She's not capable. You'll get past the first weekend. And because I went public with it on my Facebook pretty much from the beginning, I was really surprised at the amount of people that were watching quietly and responded to it. I can't put a number on it exactly – I'm gonna say more than 20 Friends, all women, the majority women, actually, but there's been a couple of fellas as well. But they messaged me quietly and said, because you're doing what you're doing, and because you've shared your story, and because you put it out there, I'm now on day 200, alcohol-free. I've now decided to change my relationship with alcohol. And they’d be asking for advice, not publicly, you know, these people want to keep it private, and absolute credit to them for that. But that has absolutely blown me away, that people are questioning their own lives just by seeing somebody else not drink.

Freddie Bennett 10:32

And you can use that to help people. And it doesn't even have to be around alcohol. But people have certainly said to me, like, ‘oh, I didn't think I could do a park run’. Or ‘I didn't think I could, you know, go for a walk all day or do a speech’. And they said, but hang on, you gave up alcohol. Wow, that means you can do anything. And you know, once I've stopped crying to myself and thinking what a terrible person I was, I actually think well, that's quite good, because it doesn't have to be about alcohol. It's just about realising that people have got so much potential and so much opportunity to do those things that are different and scary, but they can be inspired to do something else.

Sharon Hartley 11:11

I think what is really important to say as well, is that when I first put it out there that I was giving up alcohol, people assume we must have a problem. We must be alcoholic, it must be this or that. Don't make assumptions. You know what I mean? There are many, many reasons why people would want to change their relationship with alcohol. And in our case, give it up completely. And one of the most hilarious things now is instead of, you know, badgering all my friends to come out early doors on a Saturday to go to the pub. We're now organising sober socials, which is, it's I can't believe we're actually doing that, you know, I mean to come from where we were to doing what we're doing now. And having sober gatherings at a pub at an adult place and having these people come along is just, it's brilliant. Yeah, absolutely fantastic.

Freddie Bennett 11:58

I think it's interesting point you made around because that reminds me of something. I was on holiday recently. And it was an all-inclusive holiday abroad and previously I would have been on these holidays with my family. I'd literally have an eye on the bar at breakfast time and thinking about the fact that it's there. And yeah, it's there. And your holiday is only things allowed on holiday. And I would have been playing with the kids. But looking at my watch and thinking well, can I go yet? Can I go? Yeah. And then in the evening when you're all tired, and because it hurts when you go on a holiday and you think, ah, I am shattered from the last few months of working and living and householding and everything else. But my wife said to me, she's like, wow, that's nice, because we can just go to the room or whatever in the evening, and just spend time as a family. Yeah. Whereas in the past, I'd be like, we have to stay out. We have to go to the bar because we are on holiday, and I will have my beer. And now I was like, well actually, I could catch up on all that sleep that I've been missing out on for months. Yeah, we can be connected as a family. I think my children still said that they hate me. Let's be clear.

Sharon Hartley 13:00

Yeah, once you've got teenagers, I can't wait.

Freddie Bennett 13:03

But they did say that. It was nice to have a real present Freddy there rather than the Freddy, who was half-cut all the time because I felt I ‘deserved it’. Which certainly isn't being a lighthouse to anyone that is just racking up ships on the rocks, which is quite interesting.

Sharon Hartley 13:21

Background Ben, you've got something to say on this.

Ben Anderson 13:23

Yeah, rather than being a kind of metaphorical shining beacon. I've taken the more practical approach of shoving alcohol-free beers into my mates’ hands. And I've got many, many mates who've tried 0% beer for the first time. Because we’ve been to the pub and they’ve gone, ‘oh go on then, I’ll give it a try’.

Sharon Hartley 13:38

Amazing. Did they like it?

Ben Anderson 13:40

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Especially my brother. He goes to the pub, and he doesn't like the feeling of being drunk. He never has. He likes taste of beer. Yeah, he now kind of alternates between real and fake beer. Yeah.

Sharon Hartley 14:07

Fantastic. It was really interesting what you said Background Ben about the effect you're having on friends and family. Since I removed alcohol from my life, we've had various family gatherings at home. And it was always the case that it'd be you know, you go to the shop and you buy the food and I'd spend the same again on making sure there was enough wine for everybody and bottles of Prosecco and of gin and vodka. Obviously, I don't bother these days and we had we had a family gathering recently and I sent a message to the family Whatsapp group saying look, everybody's welcome to drink. It's not a no alcohol zone in my house. Just bring your own because I don't buy it anymore. Everybody came and not one person drank… not because they were going ‘ooh, can’t have a drink around Shaz’ or anything like that. It's because they’re bloody cheap and they brought some Aldi lemonade! Brilliant.

Since I removed alcohol, well, my husband doesn't really drink for kick-off anyway, so that's not been a problem. So, he's really pleased about that. My mum comes around, she drinks far less, but even when she goes out now, she's in nursing. She doesn't really touch it as much anymore. So that's been a fantastic side effect, not that she drank a lot anyway. And then there's my brother who was, I think he won't mind me saying he's a bit of a party animal, big drinker, but 12 years younger than me, so he's in his 30s. And he came to stay with us, not this Christmas, the Christmas before. And he said, I'll come and I won't drink with you. And I'm like, it's fine. You can come around, you can bring your beers. It's not a problem. Now I'm not bothered. And he stayed with us for Christmas, went back down to London and didn't drink for three months. Wow. And that wasn't me going you must not drink it is terrible. It was like, if you want to have a beer, have a beer. It's not a problem. He said no, actually, I really quite like the effect this is having. Because he used to block off a couple of days in his diary if he knew he was having a big night out. Well, I can't work then. And I can't work then because I won't be very productive. Yeah, seeing the effect it's had on him has been brilliant. And he will now quite happily go out as Background Ben was saying a moment ago, and choose an alcohol-free alternative over a real beer. And that to me, it's just been, it's just been glorious. It's been a really a massive surprise, the effect it's had on others.

Freddie Bennett 16:10

My wife loves it as well, because I've made her into a lightweight because back in the day, it'd be there on a Saturday night when you'd be like, yeah, it's gin and tonic times, you'd go into the kitchen and I'd pour one for her and then one for me, and then pour a bit of extra and for myself as well, just because it'd been a tough week. But now there isn't me saying like, you know, 10 o'clock – time to drink – and be finished a drink and be like, you want another drink? Is it time for a drink? Let's have a drink. And because I'm not, you know, effectively trying to pour it down our throats anymore. Now if she has one on a Saturday night, she's there going like, whoo, let's go clubbing and I'm like, nah, I'm all good. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, the other people that again, yeah. I'm not judgmental at all. If people want to drink and choose to drink, that's absolutely fine. But it's certainly reduced people's around me consumption without a doubt.

Sharon Hartley 16:58

Yeah, that made me realise how much pressure I put on other people to drink as well, which, you know, it was never a good thing.

Freddie Bennett 17:07

And the best thing is, you know, we talk about helping people and being good influence and being a lighthouse. How much thanks, have I received for this? Absolutely zero. I guess, yeah, it's a nice feeling to help other people but you don't do it for the ‘thanks’ to you. It's just, it's just knowing that you're being a decent person really.

Sharon Hartley 17:39

We just want to take a quick break from this episode of over the influence should do regular shout outs. And basically, huge thank you to everybody who's supporting us so far, it is just brilliant. The response we've had is amazing. You've been in touch on social media, you've visited the website, you've clicked on the big button to buy as a brew. Not literally, of course, it's a virtual coffee, a virtual alcohol-free beer. And basically, it's throwing a few quid our way to put back into the production costs of the podcast. As we know, listening to podcasts is completely free. But it does come with some costs. On our side, we've got a bit of marketing to cover and some equipment and so on. So every time you do buy as an alcohol free beer or a brew, it goes straight back into the pot, and we are very, very grateful. I'll tell you how you can do that in just a moment. But in the meantime, we just want to say a huge thank you to those that have done that.

Jeanette, she's just found us actually she's gone in on Episode One. And she said because of this episode, she thinks that she's going to give alcohol-free life ago. Just try it! You'll never know where it might lead. And there’s Ed – he's loving the podcast. Thank you so much Ed for buying us all a coffee, hugely appreciated. And Sally again. So very kind of you thank you so much. Sally's left a message on the website page, and she says that she absolutely loves the podcast. They have made such a huge difference to her resilience in her alcohol-free journey. And thank you a couple more messages we've had – Rachel has been listening on her morning run. She got in touch with us via Instagram and says another excellent lesson, which really helped after last week's stumble. Rachel that's all it is, is a stumble, you get back up and keep on running. You can do it absolutely no problem.

Thank you so much for all your messages, and for all your support. If you want to get in touch with us at Over the Influence you can do. You can find us on Instagram and Twitter @alcoholfreepod. Or of course you can find us on Facebook just search up Over the Influence. Or you can go to facebook.com/alcoholfreepod. And, of course, if you want to contact us privately, we totally get that you can send an email privately to overtheinfluence@soundrebel.co.uk. And if you'd like to contribute financially to the podcast, we would be eternally grateful. You can go to our website, which is overtheinfluence.co.uk. And then there's a big blue button on there that says buys a coffee. Thank you to all those that have. We are so very grateful. Now back to the episode, we hope you enjoy.

Sharon Hartley 20:36

So, in this episode of Over the Influence, calling it the lighthouse effect, we've talked a lot about family and we joke a lot about family but actually Freddy, there were some very serious reasons why you chose to give up alcohol because this affected your own father.

Freddie Bennett 20:50

Yeah, definitely. So you know, my dad was absolutely a socializer an entertainer. He loved throwing parties, and he absolutely loved to drink. And I think that the first time I got drunk when I was 15 years old, and my baggy white jeans and my Nike hoodie, and I'm sure it was him that bought me the alcohol because he was like, yeah, why not? You're old enough, get involved. But he so yeah, he loved to drink. But then yeah, he unfortunately died a couple of years ago. And it was eighth of September 2016. I'd only spoken to him I think the day before. And I was at work having a normal day at work. I think a spreadsheet had crashed or something I was sat there in my, in my stressed corporate job saying, ‘oh, this is terrible, surely my life could not get any worse’. But then the phone rang. And to cut a long story short, I had to jump into the car, walk out of the office with nothing apart from my suit and my laptop bag, jump in the car, got to the hospital go into the intensive care unit, like you see on TV. And he was there and he was unconscious. And the doctors take you into into the small room and they sit you down and they say there's nothing we can do and then that's it. So, it was like you see on TV, where you a normal morning, 12 o'clock lunchtime that day, I was just having a day like any other day. But then by dinnertime, I kissed my dad on the head and I watched him die. And that was because he was a heavy drinker, and he had all kinds of internal organ problems. But it wasn't a slow decline. We always think of people with liver failure and a slow painful death. Thankfully for him, it was very quick, but it left a lasting impression. And believe me, there's nothing like watching your dad take his last breath before your eyes to make you think that life is short. And life is precious. And how do I want to be living my life? And what changes do I want to make to try and be the best person I can be?

Sharon Hartley 22:57

How aware were you of the extent of your dad's drinking problem and the effect it was having on his body?

Freddie Bennett 23:04

I was fairly aware of his drinking problem, mainly because whenever I went around to see him, he'd have a glass of wine for me as soon as I walked in the door and he'd absolutely keep my glass topped up. I mean, as we got older, I mean me. My dad wasn't the kind of guy that would dish out hugs and take you to the football and that sort of thing. We never really spoke unless we were steaming through the drink. So, a visit to dad's house would involve three bottles of wine and probably a bottle of brandy and are many times he quite proudly said yeah, I've got an alcohol problem. And I never understand still why he didn't want to change it or didn't want to fix it. And I'll probably never know why. But he admitted that he liked to drink, it was who he was it defined him and he did that every single day. And it's worth saying he never lost a job. He never physically hurt anyone. He never lost a house never woke upon a park bench. He just went through his life solidly monotonously heavily drinking day after day after day. And I don't know why he didn't pull it. But that made me think that that I want to, and I could very easily see the fact that my life could turn out the same way. And that's something that I didn't want.

Sharon Hartley 24:21

But at this stage now your boys aren't going to see this with their dad, are they? You've changed the stories we talked about in the in the last episode.

Freddie Bennett 24:27

Yeah, and I've hopefully changed the story and it's also worth saying it. This is always different from the Hollywood version because you’d like to think that I literally saw him there on his deathbed. And I thought to myself, right this is it. I'm gonna walk out of this hospital and change my life. It was the absolute opposite. I used this as an excuse to drink heavier party harder than ever before because I told myself, life is short. Enjoy it. You only live once, make sure you never leave a party early, never turn down the opportunity for a night out because you have to live life to the full. So, I spent about six months really drinking and partying harder than ever done before. And so, it wasn't a quick switch for me. And I think as time wore on, I thought something's not right here. And if I really want to be the person that I that I think I can be, and if I want to make my boys proud, and if I don't want to die suddenly at the age of 74, I'm going to do something different.

I always knew deep down, it was alcohol related, but I didn't want to admit to it. Until I literally woke up one morning, and it was probably what, at least a year after he died. And I said, no, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've talked about all these actions and all these things. I don't want to be that middle-aged dad, like he was, that sat on the sofa, bitter and annoyed at the world and talking about all the opportunities he missed and all the things that he wanted to do, but someone screwed him over or someone was unfair, or a situation was bad. The answer was always, pour me another drink. And that'll make it better. I don't know if he realised or not the impact alcohol had on his life. As far as I'm aware he had no regrets. He'll say that he had a great life. But you can't help thinking, how much more could he have had? How much more could he have been? If he just stopped drinking earlier?

Sharon Hartley 26:23

But you must be so proud now that you've turned that around for yourself?

Freddie Bennett 26:27

Yeah I am. I am sort of proud to be honest. Like, yeah, I'm a little light house now, which is which is quite nice. And I think my sons are proud of me. I think they still laugh. And you know, if I'm drinking 0.5% beer, they'll be like, that's got alcohol in it. And I know it's allowed 0.5%. But yeah, I am. Maybe they'll never tell me they're proud of me. And I guess that's, that's fine. I'm not doing this so people can say, Oh, well done, give me a pat on the back. I'm doing this for me. And I knew I was going down that route when it was Saturday morning, and I put a film on for my kids. So, I could lay on the sofa and sleep it off. Or if I was home alone, looking after the kids, and they're all asleep. And I think I have one more glass of wine, even though it's midnight. And I've got to be up in a few hours time. It's it is about just quietly going about my business and knowing deep down that I'm hopefully doing something different, and setting them an example. And most importantly, in a few years time when they're 15. And they get to have that moment when they've had their first drink. And they're hugging the toilet being sick all night, I can then say well have you thought about an alcohol-free lifestyle, look at Daddy. And for once for that one moment, I could be on that high horse and say, I'm going to take a different path, that's going to be something tough and something a bit scary, but I'm going to hopefully prove to them that their dad is going to live a life of no regrets and is going to try his hardest to achieve everything that he wants to achieve.

Sharon Hartley 27:57

Freddy, thank you for sharing that. Because that is really personal. And it's really sad. And I know, during this podcast, you know, we have a laugh and a joke. But obviously there's a really serious side to the alcohol and the effect it can have on a family. I've experienced it myself in my own family. I know. My auntie died about 10/12 years ago, and it was drink related. She'd been drinking for many, many years. But one thing that just really, really touched me recently was her son who's my cousin. He just sent me a message on Facebook because he'd seen that I'd given up alcohol. And as a result, he was trying to himself and he was just going to go for the month because his Mama died of, of alcoholism. And it really affected me, and it really touched me, and it made me realise that by putting it out there it can help other people.

Freddie Bennett 28:54

It’s funny isn't it because I know we always say on Over the Influence that we don't need to think of alcohol is bad or anything evil but there are some facts that we can't ignore that we do see people around us whether it's friends or friends or loved ones that die in some way related to alcohol we do know that alcohol is a poison and it isn't (despite what the papers say every now and again) isn't good for you both physically and mentally. But people still have these experiences. I mean how was that individual getting on? How did he find it?

Sharon Hartley 29:26

So far so good. He only just started, and he was just sort of he just reminded me of when I set out giving up alcohol and he was like ‘how am I gonna get through Sunday lunch?’ which is, you know it's that routine isn't it… So I just sent him a whole list of his options that he could choose. And I just said just good luck with it. You know, please try your best, really proud of you and it's so nice to hear from you. But it's just safe to say I think it's safe to say that the majority of people can be affected negatively. You’ve talked about your own dad. My auntie was affected. What makes me really sad is when I think back now to my auntie, it's just painful that she didn't have the strength. Or like you mentioned about your dad, you know why didn't you stop? But for some people, it's not that easy, is it? Yeah.

Freddie Bennett 30:21

And you'll never know the reasons behind it. And my dad, you always used to have the opinion that was backed up by absolutely zero medical science. And he used to say stuff like, Well, I've been drinking so long, it would be worse for me to stop now. So I might as well just carry on. I was like, oh, yeah, dad. Okay. That's great. Yeah, put me on a drink, please. But, um, but maybe, maybe he just plain didn't want to. And I always say with my journey that I tried to stop 1000 times and I've failed 1000 times. But the only reason it really clicked for me was because I worked out the life that I wanted for myself. And there was a lot different to the life that I had. And I knew I could only get that life if I stopped drinking alcohol. And for me, that's when it stopped being about willpower. After the early days, it stopped being a struggle. It was just, I want that thing over there more than I want this thing that I've got at the moment. So, I want to go and get it and to go and get it, I've got to stop drinking for the moment.

Sharon Hartley 31:39

Well, that was quite a discussion, wasn't it?

Freddie Bennett 31:41

That got quite deep. Yeah, quite deep and dark there.

Sharon Hartley 31:46

But it's fair to say, isn't it? We've talked about our own personal journeys and why we're doing this and the effect it has on us. But there's no doubt that by us not drinking, it has a massive effect on those around us. Absolutely. If you're listening to this now and you've got a story to share with us, please get in touch. You can do it on social media publicly, or you can get in touch privately. Absolutely no problem, send us an email. It's overtheinfluence@soundrebel.co.uk. You can also find us on Facebook, just search for Over the Influence. We would love to hear from you. And we'd love to know what you'd like us to talk about.

Freddie Bennett 32:20

Also, if you like what you're hearing, you can go onto your podcast app, hit subscribe and also if possible, we would love it if you could give us a star rating, ideally five, and a written review that will help other people to find us and it will help spread the word and together we could help people think about alcohol differently.