Elvis has left the building, robots are taking over our investments, bozos are running our savings

If you pop into the bookies and bung a quid on Elvis Presley still being alive – he died in 1977 - and he shows up as the support act to his heir apparent Ed Sheeran at Wembley Stadium next year, you’ll win £2,000.

Put that pound into a top paying savings account over the same period and you’ll earn just over 1p.

This is why stupid savings gimmicks are becoming a thing.

It works like this.

The provider, bank, building society or app, pays a derisory interest rate but offers a 300% boost to your returns if an improbable event takes place.

Not quite as unlikely as a resurrection but not that far off.

First there were the Brexit bonds, where your 1% return will be tripled if you bet correctly on the pound / euro exchange rate once Britain leaves the EU and, depending on how you see this bet panning out, all of our successful businesses leave Britain.

Now football fans are being targeted.

If Manchester United win the FA Cup next year AND the English Premier League, unabashed Newcastle-based Virgin Money will bung you a bung in the form of 2% bonus on the savings rate. Other football clubs are available. As are better savings accounts.

Also on the show, Simon Lambert, Lee Boyce and Georgie Frost explain robo investing – the cheap and easy new way of saving money without having to interact with expensive human advisers.

And the latest wave of frauds filling an inbox near you are a terrifying as ever.

Enjoy.